by Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter and Boston City Paper, 5/2013

Father Steve Madden (right) with Father Jay (left) and Cardinal Sean O'Malley in 2009 at the celebration of the 150th anniversary of Saint Mary's Church

Father Steve Madden (right) with Father Jay Makos (left) and Cardinal Sean O’Malley in 2009 at the celebration of the 150th anniversary of Saint Mary’s Church

Each year around this time, I’ve made it a tradition to write a piece about spirituality, about faith, religion, or clergy who have made a difference in my life. While this column is not “church chat” and is intended toward folks of all faiths (or none), I’d like to talk today about three members of the clergy who make a difference, and encourage you, if you are so inclined, to thank your clergy or spiritual leaders as well.

Here in Foxboro we have many churches of different denominations, and each plays a vital role, not just for an obligation to “go to church” but to be part of a family, part of a community, to pray together, and share common faith.

At my beloved Saint Mary’s, we have been very fortunate to have a string of compassionate and excellent priests shepherding our flock. I remember Father Boyle, Father Casey, and of course, Father Tom Reilly, whose affability and remarkable sense of humor made him welcome the moment he made Foxboro his home so many years ago. Around that time, a young priest named Steve Madden came along as well, and he made such a profound difference at Saint Mary’s, first as the “new priest” and then, after a reassignment to another parish, he returned here as Pastor when Father Tom retired.

Through the years, with Father Steve at the helm, other priests have come and gone, and Father Steve has often pastored the church on his own. Of course, he has staff and volunteers and occasional priests from other parishes to assist with masses, but often, he was on his own, everything on his shoulders. I am sure it was never easy, but he always “kept the ship steady.”

He has done an incredible job as pastor.

So with that introduction I’d like to talk today about three members of the Saint Mary’s Clergy. My usual disclaimer applies; no one asked me to do this, but sometimes you need to let people know publically the difference they make. A public thank you note, if you will. So here goes.

Father Brian Smith

Father Brian Smith

First, Father Brian Smith. This young priest joined the Saint Mary’s family a few years ago as parochial vicar and instantly made about 1000 friends. Articulate, personable, a great writer and speaker, he made an instant connection with the congregation that takes some clergy years to establish. You met him, you liked him, and it was that simple. And his sermons are incredible: A movie buff, he loves quoting some of his favorites and sometimes includes movie quotes into his homilies. And he won me over when he quoted Star Trek (2009) and the line Captain Pike says to a young James T. Kirk: “I dare you to do better.” Whether he is speaking of NCIS, or some other movie, or just current events, his sermons are always on-target and make an instant connection. His signature line at the end of mass, “Isn’t God so good?” demands a loud YES, and if doesn’t get it, he’ll remind us we can do better! From the moment he arrived here, he became our friend.

Now, you may know that Father Brian is quite ill, and in the hospital. I would like to take this opportunity to say in this very public forum that I am asking everyone who believes, and everyone who can, to do, as my mother says, “storm heaven with prayers” for Father Brian. We need him healthy, and we need him back at Saint Mary’s. Prayers, good thoughts, healing energy — send it his way. We want him back healthy and whole! Let him feel your love!

Deacon Paul Kline

Deacon Paul Kline

Next up is the Reverend Deacon Paul Kline. I love that deacons play such a large role in the church these days, and as a husband and father his homilies can speak to experiences that priests cannot, such as the joys, and the challenges, in every marriage, and the miracles — and again, the challenges of raising children. He will often begin a talk with a personal experience, perhaps a family conversation around the dinner table, or something one of his children said, and springboard into the topic of the day with an “I’ve been there” vibe. He has a gentle way about him, but when he starts speaking, you’re captivated. Not only is Deacon Paul a gifted speaker whose homilies have stunned me, he has a way of projecting how much he LOVES being part of the mass, part of the congregation. It’s like he can’t stop smiling. But then he’ll begin speaking about the issues of the day — and some of them are hard to hear, and some really make you think — but he has a fatherly way of preaching that makes you want to hear every word. He’s unafraid of the tough topics, and whether he speaks about current events or gospel stories 2000 years old, you listen with a fresh perspective.

I am so very grateful he is here at Saint Mary’s.

Reverend Stephen J. Madden poses with First Communion recipient Taryn Carol Powers.

Reverend Stephen J. Madden poses with First Communion recipient Taryn Carol Powers.

And finally, I would like to celebrate Father Steve Madden, one of my personal heroes. The young man of years ago — so instantly likeable, so much one of us, the gifted speaker, has only grown better at the job. Our pastor of Saint Mary’s is everywhere he is needed, 24/7 on the job, celebrating sacraments, weddings and saying funeral masses, overseeing the myriad of youth programs and religious classes, giving spiritual guidance and comfort and love to this parish, not to mention all of the administrative work he does to keep Saint Mary’s running.

He is a priest of incredible skill, genuine humility, and I cannot think of a better man for the job.

I have told him this in person — his homilies are always relevant, always captivating, and every time — every single time — as he ended a sermon with his signature, “God Bless You All,” I have the same thought: “Message received.” He’s that good.

Celebrating his 25th anniversary of the priesthood in June (and he looks so young !) he is the epitome of what a priest should be — approachable, kind, stern when he needs to be, knows what to say and when, but always emanating that very human, “I am one of you” vibe.

He seems to love being a priest — he seems to love the job. And he’s so personable, so friendly. At Communion, he says your name before he presents the Eucharist wafer. I love that. During mass, he’ll say the name of the person who read the intentions — “We offer our prayers that Pat has spoken and those in our hearts.” It’s like a family, very one-on-one.

Unlike some of the priests I knew as a kid, who seemed a little stand-offish, Father Steve is so very human, the first to say he too has his own questions, his own doubts, and he is on this journey with us. You can see sometimes the burdens he carries on his shoulders — the weight of all OUR cares, OUR confessions, OUR sadness, OUR trials — and somehow he always seems to say the right thing.

His job cannot be easy — it’s a job so few can do, and fewer can do well, but I am so glad he does it.

Yes, he is a priest first, a man of the cloth, but he is our FRIEND.

And sometimes I don’t think he has any idea just what a difference he has made in our lives. Much like Father Kierce, God rest him, who was the soul of my Saint Kevin in Dorchester, Father Steve, at least for me, has become the soul of Saint Mary’s. Yes, priest assignments come and go, and there may come a time when he is reassigned — I hope that day never comes unless he wants it — we need him here. We need his type of leadership, we need him.

I once said to him, and I’ll say it publically here, that I thought the best way I could explain how we feel about him is by quoting, of all things, a TV show (Father Brian will be so proud of me!). The show is a British TV program called Vicar of Dibley, in which a female vicar arrives at the fictional Saint Barnabus Parish in England, and over time is so welcomed by the community, that when she considers leaving, her congregation won’t let her go. She’s made such a difference they won’t allow her to retire. To paraphrase what the congregation said to that vicar, I say to Father Steve, “It is because of YOU that the church is full, not empty, and it is because of YOU that our hearts are full, not empty.”

Y’know, I’m the first to admit that I can be overly sentimental, and I try to watch that because it can come across as insincere — so it bears repeating — this is for real. This is from the heart. And it needs to be said.

From left: Deacon Paul Kline and his wife Rosemary, Reverend and Pastor Stephen J. Madden and Reverend Brian P. Smith, Parochial Vicar. (Photo by Christine Igo Freeman, Foxboro Reporter)

From left: Deacon Paul Kline and his wife Rosemary, Reverend and Pastor Stephen J. Madden and Reverend Brian P. Smith, Parochial Vicar. (Photo by Christine Igo Freeman, Foxboro Reporter)

So many priests and clergy have made such a positive difference in my life, and it’s nice to have the privilege of this forum to write so public a thank you note.

Being a priest, a member of any clergy, has got to be one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. And yet, people like these three great men, and so many others, do it for US.

THANK YOU.

So friends, if you’re a church goer or if you have a religious person or some sort of spiritual leader or guide in your life, thank them now for all they do. Let them know that you know their job isn’t easy, and let them know the difference they make. You will make their day.

And also, please keep Father Brian in your prayers.

And to Father Steve, Father Brian and Deacon Paul, thank you for welcoming the prodigal son (me) back in 2010 after a few years of “church sabbatical” and making me feel so welcome — YOU make the difference and I am profoundly grateful.

Thank you to the three of you — and all clergy of all faiths who make the difference.

And how else could I end this one but to say:

Amen!

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by Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter 4/2012
election2013

As a Foxboro Jaycee, I was so honored to be the moderator for candidates night — yes, I was nervous but my main goal (beyond not passing out) was too ensure that things ran smoothly, ensure the candidates were all treated fairly, got their say, and that the information got out.

It was a welcome opportunity to “step out of my comfort zone” and be in front of the camera instead of my usual filming behind the camera. That we have Foxboro Cable Access to provide this great studio and outstanding team is a blessing for the town.

For me, I hadn’t expected the amount of research and prep involved, but I learned a lot, and got to meet some candidates I didn’t know, and the experience, for me at least, was completely positive. I would happily do it again.

As a contributor to the Foxboro Reporter (a privilege I cherish) this space is neither a “Jaycee” column nor is an op/ed column the place for an endorsement (that must be done as a letter to the editor). Given that I moderated candidate’s night, even a letter to the editor this year endorsing a specific candidate would be inappropriate.

Of course, private citizen Bob has his own choices, but I found a way to make an endorsement/offer of support here without violating any rules.

My friends, I encourage you to support all the candidates. In this context, “support” doesn’t mean endorse/cast your vote for that person; it means “support” them because they each have the guts to stand up and run for office in this town. By all means laud and praise YOUR candidate but don’t bash the other folks. You can speak of the strengths of your candidate — and encourage others to vote for your candidate — without bashing. Let’s keep it civil this year.

This isn’t Obama/Romney — what I found the other night is a lot of different personalities but a group of decent people, each who want what’s best for the town. It takes courage; it takes true dedication, a love for the town, and no small amount of sacrifice. Not everyone will agree, and personality conflicts are inevitable, but each candidate is stepping up, making the sacrifice, and trying to make a difference.

Egyptians girls show their inked fingers after casting their votes at a polling station in a referendum on a disputed constitution, Cairo, Egypt, Saturday, Dec. 15, 2012. -- Source: VOANEWS.com

Egyptians girls show their inked fingers after casting their votes at a polling station in a referendum on a disputed constitution, Cairo, Egypt, Saturday, Dec. 15, 2012. — Source: VOANEWS.com

School board, Selectman candidates, all the others — I don’t know how you do it. You deal with so much. From the experienced to the new folks, you have my great respect. In my view, all of you are winners.

Now, let’s address all the registered voters in Foxboro: Do your part and get out on Election Day and VOTE. There are so many stories of people in other countries, holding up that finger with the purple ink, showing how proud they are that they VOTED — what an honor! What a privilege! Here in America, so many don’t even bother to vote. That is so very sad.

In our town, historically, unless there are REALLY hot-button issues like the dog park or casino/resort, voter turnout is typically low. Let’s change that.

Without getting too preachy, I submit the following:

  • Your vote counts. Especially in a small town like this, some elections have been won by a small number of votes.
  • You ability to vote in this country is sacred. So many people across the world cannot vote. Do not take this privilege for granted. People have died and fought so that Americans — all Americans — can vote.
  • Make the time to vote on April 30.No excuses.
  • For the unopposed candidates, cast the vote for them anyway — don’t leave it blank because no one else is running — it’s a nice way of supporting the unopposed candidates.
  • If you are able, come to town meetings. Decisions are made by those who show up.
The candidates for Foxboro selectman at candidates night, 2013

The candidates for Foxboro selectman at candidates night, 2013

Most citizens cannot make the sacrifice of running for, and serving in, town office.

But each of us CAN make a difference by supporting our candidates, not bashing the others, and voting.

My friends, end of speech. The rest, as always, is up to you. This is your town. Be involved, be informed, think about what is important to you and the town, make your choices, and VOTE.

See you at the polls on April 30! And to all candidates, God bless, and good luck!

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47_ogunquit__cliff_house_sjpg4686by Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter and the Boston City Paper, 3/2013

The water heals.

I’m a little kid, enjoying one of an uncountable number of childhood trips to Savin Hill Beach, experiencing the taste and smells of clean seawater and the joyous feeling of swimming and playing in the hot summer sun with all the laughing and crying children. I can feel the warm sun and taste the delicious boloney and cheese sandwiches Mom made, and the Kool-Aid and potato chips. The water is calling again, and I remember the frustration of having to wait 30 minutes after lunch before bursting back into the waves. An amalgam of memories of childhood, so many perfect days on the beach, all the childish cares and concerns washed away by diving under the seawater.

And the water heals.

I’m 11 years old, and nearly drowned a year previously in a local pool — my own fault, jumping into the deep end without knowing how to swim. But even after my “rescue” I immediately jumped back in the shallow end, back into the water that is always my friend, my sanctuary. I wasn’t scared of it; I would simply need to learn to swim.

Because the water heals.

That same summer, my cousin Ray and his family have invited me to the family cottage in Marblehead. I spend lots of time on that dock, teaching myself to swim, help the launch crew offload passengers, and listen at night to the chime of the buoys in the distance, and think about how I love the beach. And later that summer, back at that same pool that nearly claimed me, I jump into the deep end and surface exuberantly — because I have become a pretty good swimmer.

And because the water heals.

Two kids in their 20s are walking a beach, talking about past relationships, talking about past hurts, talking about future dreams. The ocean has always been special to the young lady, and the guy, well, he likes swimming so much he would stay in the sea until his lips were blue. That night, almost into sunrise, the two kids walk the beach, unaware they are falling in love as the steady roar of the ocean surf comes gently in, lapping the shore.

And the water heals.

It’s New Year’s Day and two kids, now twenty years older and a little wiser, are walking by the ocean on that same beach, as they often do, to greet the New Year. Nantasket Beach is very cold and covered with snow — entire sections of the lower shore are frozen solid. In the distance, the snow and ice taper to a steel-gray ocean — seemingly still but on closer inspection, moving, always moving. Ice floes and chunks of snow will soon be washed away, but for now, the ocean is a frozen mosaic, the boat slips are empty, the dock is snow-covered and quiet. Everything is still, waiting for spring.

And the water heals.

002_bass_harbor__crashing_waves_sjpg3847A summer afternoon in Boston — it’s been two long weeks of busy on-call and the (seeming) weight of the world on my shoulders. A mere $16 buys me a one hour passage aboard a harbor cruise to Old Ironsides. The sky is an unbelievable blue; the Boston skyline pristine; the sun feels great on my face. I walk to the back of the boat and watch, fascinated by the churning foam and long white wake behind the boat. My problems and negative thoughts are replaced by a kind of childlike wonder at all the energy being generated to propel this little boat along Boston Harbor, and the beauty of the panoramic ocean all around me.

And the water heals.

It’s winter and Ogunquit Beach is nearly deserted; a long, long stretch of pristine sand and a steady hiss of relentless waves are moving in, crashing, moving in, and crashing. I feel my breathing slow, and for a fleeting moment feel very small in a vast universe — there’s a poetic thought crossing my mind; a recollection of the Book of Genesis and the “dome” of the sky. The sky above the beach forms that perfect dome — the vastness, the sheer scope that is awe-inspiring and can’t be captured or defined in a photograph — you can only know it, only experience it, and only feel it. It’s absolutely magnificent; that sky and the ocean below.

And the water heals.

I’m on a whale watch and the Dramamine and the power of positive thinking are not helping at all. Along with about half of the passengers, we lie in the back of the boat, praying for quick death as the extreme nausea threatens yet again. Once again I gain a healthy respect for the fury and power of the ocean, as the boat bounces up and down and my overactive imagination enables me to see the situation as a group of helpless souls tossed around in stormy waves, at the whim of the angry sea gods, and on a more realistic note I am seriously regretting breakfast. I make my way occasionally on deck to witness the whales, but the battering rain, ferocious waves and roller-coaster passage make being vertical difficult. I return to the enclosed room, with my suffering crew. The tour mercifully ends, and we queasy survivors disembark on wobbly legs. But as I look around I am still amazed how beautiful the ocean looks, and its sheer ferocity reminds me to respect it. I’ll go back out for another whale watch, but on a much calmer day, to see everything I missed. I still love it; I want to be out there, experiencing it.

Because the water heals.

It’s late in the day in August; Jordan Pond in Acadia is quiet as always, save a few hikers walking by and the telltale clink-clink of silverware and china in the nearby restaurant. I sit by that pond, a few pebbles leaving ripples that I observe reaching outward. Time slows down; the universe is in perspective for just this moment.

And the water heals.

On uncountable occasions I’ve had it with the stress and a mind racing at light speed in thirty directions. I go to the gym, I hit the pool — I swim; and it’s so quiet — I hear nothing but the swish of the current. I open my eyes and see only blue; I can feel the water surrounding me, cradling me as I swim through it. My blood pressure lowers, my thoughts grow a little clearer, and then my mind calms, at least for a little while.

Because the water heals.

I’m standing at a place called Table Rock Observation Deck — some 150 feet tunneled down to a rocky “shelf” on the side of Niagara Falls. In a plastic yellow slicker I am soaked and standing closer — ever closer — feeling the sheer magnitude and might of this incredible force. I realize that I am as close to the Falls as I can get without being killed, and the feeling is exhilarating. It’s a heady feeling — this almighty cascade of watery fury — and I can’t help being stunned by the PRIMAL nature of what I am feeling. Despite being soaked I stay, transfixed by the elemental might I am witnessing. For an instant, I am one with this water, in sheer awe of something that can only be experienced. It’s absolutely joyful.

13_ogunquit__waves_sjpg3965Because the water heals.

I walk the beach, alone or with that same young lady from twenty years earlier. I sit by the pond, and I enjoy an ice cream by the lake. I swim. I’m by the water, any water. A beach with crashing waves, a stream, a tranquil pond, a swimming pool, large bay, a glorious harbor, a jetty during a rainstorm. It doesn’t matter. The breathing slows. The mind calms; the circadian rhythm synchronizes with the element.

I remind myself that it’s always here; it’s always waiting for me; that I must respect its elemental might and temperamental fury, but like fire, as long as it is respected it will take care of you, nurture you, revitalize you, and renew you.

Because the water heals. It always heals.

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01 Foxboro - Foxboro Lions Signby Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter, 1/2013

I read with interest the news that the Foxborough Lions Club is talking about the possibility of upgrading the two aging signboards at the top and bottom of Foxboro Common with electronic signs.

Since we’re talking about Foxboro Common, itself to many residents (myself included) sacred ground, many people will have a thought on this one.

I hope the debate is lively — it means people care. I hope that people will voice their opinion at selectmen meetings, in local coffee shops, and especially, in the op/ed section of the Reporter. And I pray the debate is much more civil than more recent debates on other issues.

First and foremost, thank you to the Foxborogh Lions for creating and maintaining these iconic and gorgeous signs. For me, they are as much a part of the Common as the memorials, flagpole, wrought-iron fence design, and the bandstand.

The existing signs hand lettered signs are elegant, informative, and fit right in with the Common atmosphere without being obtrusive or distracting, and provide needed community information.

But how to go forward? Upgrading to electric signs, at first glance, makes perfect sense. The existing process is intensively manual — someone goes out to the signs, opens them up, removes the letters, retrieves the new needed letters, spells out the new message, and locks up the signs. Every two weeks.

I am sure the task is, to put it mildly, a bit of a drag. It cannot be fun to update the signs in the rain, snow and cold. Also, the manual nature of the signs prohibits any “late breaking news,” for example, a storm emergency, a cancellation of an event, and so on. I know that the Jaycees would love the ability to make a late-breaking announcement that a concert had been canceled due to rain that day. And I recall many instances where weather conditions could (and did) force postponement of the Founders Day parade or fireworks — an update on an electronic sign would be a godsend to get the word out to the town quickly.

Also, assuming power remains on in town (this writer said with just a drop of sarcasm); an electronic sign would be invaluable during community emergencies to broadcast shelter information or emergency instructions, and more.

An electronic sign would make updating the information a snap, eliminate a lot of manual effort and the drudgery and expense for anyone to even go out with the boxes of letters to spell out new messages, and add a lively sign for visitors and residents to see. It all seems win-win and these are all good reasons to go the electric sign route.

But…

…this is Foxboro Common, and I well understand the great desire to preserve not only the beauty of the area but its historic visual character. Our Common is in many ways the outdoor community center of the town, and a garden in the center of stone and mortar — an oasis, if you will, much like Boston Common and the Public Gardens. It MUST be preserved.

(I myself wrote a sternly worded column some years back saying that all the new street signs marred the beauty of the Common, an opinion I still stand by.)

So a change to an electric sign — even a partial change, means we lose an iconic part of our Common and a signature part of our community.

The more lights we add, the more we distract from the natural beauty. I agree. I get it.

So is there room for compromise and balance, old and new, historical and practical? Can we move forward with a new sign and still preserve the beauty and stateliness of the Common?

I believe so. Because I think that if we put in a few restrictions / caveats, an electronic sign can move comfortably into our Common and be a welcome and useful addition.

My thoughts are as follows:

  • If at all possible, replace only the section of the sign that contains the current “manual” letters. The existing “Foxborough” and “Lions” framework would remain, and the electronic portion would replace the center, as shown in the illustration in this newspaper a few weeks back. A combination of new and old.
  • The messages should be stationary, like they are today — two or three messages that do not move, flash, change colors, bounce, or blink or make happy faces. Anything else would be distracting to drivers around the Common. We don’t want people slowing down to catch the message they just missed. This isn’t a billboard.
  • I read that the intensity of the illumination of the messages could be adjusted; that is excellent. Keep the lights at a brightness level for readability but not too distracting.
  • Shut the sign off at 10pm. This would conserve electricity and not distract from their beautifully lit memorials on the Common now. We can’t read the existing signs by darkness, so nothing really changes here.
  • Finally, on game or concert days, perhaps the signs can display a useful message to help regulate traffic, for example, GILLETTE STADIUM TRAFFIC STAY LEFT or something.

These are just my thoughts; as a 22 year Foxboro resident who has come to call this gem home, I am VERY aware that we want to preserve the Common, but in this case I think some compromises could get us a much-needed electric sign, and still preserve the character and beauty of the Common.

So…

These are my thoughts — what are yours? You live here, and most of you love the Common. What do you think? Unlike some other recent issues facing us, here’s a nice topic we can all discuss without getting into battles (I hope).

I would love to read your thoughts on these pages. Let the comments and ideas begin!

 

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This is kind of fun — there’s no prize involved, but I won the “Caption Contest” on the Superman Homepage several times :)   The Superman Homepage is THE site on the net for all things Superman: Comics, TV, Movies, and so much more.  I can honestly say there is no better place on the web if you love Kal-El.

One of the monthly features (besides all the news, podcasts, reviews, and far, far more) includes posting a silly Superman picture and inviting readers to post humorous captions.

Check out the site; it’s excellent.

http://www.supermanhomepage.com


StarTrek
Winner, April 2013:

robertgillis:
Superman II: The Mr. Mxyzptlk Cut

Runners-Up:

robertgillis:
Post-production on the film has wrapped, and Pink Floyd is working on the musical score.


August 2012 winner:
robertgillis:
Believe it or not, there was a time when comic book fans were considered NOT cool.

A runner up also :)

robertgillis:
Stan, Cartman, Kyle and Kenny go to Comic Con


May 2012 winner:
robertgillis:
Cop: “I dunno, from the looks of them I’ll bet ten dollars they’re from Los Angeles.”

A runner up also :)

robertgillis:
Superman: “Pink.”
Cop: “You’re making me uncomfortable.”



March 2012 winner:
robertgillis:
The “Adventures of Superman” drinking game: Drink every time they used stock footage. Drink whenever Jimmy does something foolish. Drink whenever Perry shays Grrat Ceasars ggghost. Drinkk wheneber Clark sez, “Now wait just a minute!” Drunk, I mean drink whenbber somebuddy shhots at sooperman. Drink when ever when ever they recyclelelel the plot fromanother eppysode. Drrinnnn need sleep mmmmmmm


December 2011 winner:
robertgillis:
“Mommy, mommy! Frisky was stuck in a tree! This dog swooped from the sky and ate him!”

Runners-Up:

robertgillis:
Superman Dog: “No, I just put on a pair of glasses and slick my ears back and I look like a completely different dog.”



February 2011 winner:

robertgillis:
Unlike many fan-made Superman costumes, Nicholas Cage actually wears a uniform created from the blankets found in the spaceship that brought him to Earth.



December 2010 winner:

robertgillis:
Post 1: The “S” is too small.
Post 2: “The cape is too thin.”
Post 3: “The belt is wrong.”
Moderator: “So THAT’s what having the Internet in the 1950s would have been like!”



September 2010 winner:

robertgillis:
Jonathan: “Don’t feel guilty about the whole time-travel, exchanging my life for Lana. I’m sure you two kids are married and have started a family by now!”
Clark: “Yeahhh… Um, funny story…”

Runners-Up:

A special mention goes out to robertgillis for more REALLY GOOD captions.

robertgillis:
Jonathan: “Yes, Clark, it’s me. The guy who died was Henry Jonathan Kent.”

robertgillis:
Jonathan: “Son, I want to say I am very proud of you.”
Clark: “Thanks, Dad.”
Jonathan: “But I’m not.”



August 2010 Winner:

robertgillis:
Superman: “Sorry, Clark, in the new JMS storyline, I won’t need you for a long time.”
Clark: “Why are you carrying me to this cliff?”
Superman: “No reason.”



May 2010 Winner:

robertgillis:
We later find out this is Henry Perry White, Henry Lois Lane and Henry Martha Kent


April 2010 Winner:

robertgillis:
My son… You do not remember me. I am Marlon Brando. I’m your father. By now I will have reached my 400th pound, as it is measured on Earth.


December 2009 Winner:

robertgillis:

Dear Editor, I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Superman. Papa says, “If you see it on the Superman Homepage it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Superman? — Virginia O’Hanlon

Click here for my runner-ups

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