Ewa Jedrychowski

by Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter and Boston City Paper, 2/2012

“Angels are all around you.”

It’s maybe ten years ago, a beautiful Saturday morning and I’ve just left Saint Mary’s 9am mass.

There’s an absolutely lovely older woman standing there in front of the church, smiling at me, and she is telling me that angels are all around me.

And that morning, whether she knew it or not, I needed to hear it. And I believed it.

Although she was very well known to the community, I never got to know Ewa Jedrychowska, the lady who said that to me.

I saw her frequently at church, and there was something about her — the way she read the gospel with such sincerity and love. The way, after mass, when the priest would say, “Thanks for being here and have a great day,” and she would add, in her lovely accent, “And you too, Father, God bless you!”

Ewa was one of those women who got more beautiful as she grew older, and she had a light inside her that glowed so bright it could barely be contained. In spite of what she endured during World War II, there was always that smile, that loving kindness on her face. That serenity.

In reading her obituary this past week I was amazed by how well known and loved she was, and how active she was at Saint Mary’s Church, where she’d taught CCD (I’ll bet the kids loved her), served as lector and even tended the plants. I never knew she was elected to a seat on the Foxboro School Committee in 1994. I never knew how involved she was. So it is with angels.

Coming back from Communion that Sunday, I was thinking about a woman I barely knew, who said something to me on a morning I needed to hear it.

And now she’s gone.

And I got to thinking, that was her trademark phrase, “Angels are all around you.” A deeply spiritual woman, Ewa was likely speaking literally, and as a Catholic I like to think maybe — just maybe — she could actually see angels around me. God knows I need them.

But even if she was just speaking figuratively, there is something about the way she said it that made me think, that’s OK too. I’ve seen and befriended many angels in my life: The giants like Bob Shea, Whitey Vandenboom, Vin Igo, Lorraine and Stan Garland, Jerry Rodman — all angels who went beyond “above and beyond” and made such a difference, now each passed away and into loving memory.

And I think to myself, how many living angels I know these days. You know many of their names and what they do, I won’t embarrass them here but they are our “Community Angels.” Some act alone, some act under the auspices of fraternal organizations, not for profits, churches, and businesses. Many of their good works are known, so many others they do behind the scenes. They feed the hungry, they visit the sick and shut-ins, they pick up trash, drive the elderly to the doctor, water flowers on the common, donate time and money where it’s needed, take care of their kids, tend sick family members, participate in school activities, raise their family, and do thousands of other things large and small that make a huge difference.

Other angels work as police and firefighters, EMTs, nurses, caregivers, teachers, parents, and clergy. And some are just “ordinary folks” who still make a difference in a way that no one else can.

They are the angels, whether they know it or not.

Some of our angels are thinking of us and praying for us because of Face Book and other social media. I have noticed so many friends and associates battling illness or problems, asking for prayers and good thoughts. And we, their Face Book friends, rally and “storm Heaven with prayers.” In a very small way, we are their angels. That’s pretty cool.

We need our angels, especially today. It’s very easy to watch the news and see stories of natural disasters, political upheaval, campaign mudslinging, violent crime, cruelty against children, famine, wars… and to get so very discouraged. It’s easy to want to just give up on the human race. Without being funny, sometimes I hear about the whole “End of the world in December 2012″ thing and I think to myself, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Earth just blows up.

But that’s when someone like Ewa would appear and remind you that angels are all around you. That there IS good around everywhere. That so many people who care about you and your well being — whether you meet them or not, are working to help you, protect you and are thinking of you. That so many people work to make their community better. That there are so many people, like Ewa, who make our days better, and can change our entire perspective, by a few well timed words of kindness.

None of us are perfect, most of us wouldn’t consider ourselves “angels,” and we all have more than enough reasons to be discouraged and beat ourselves up. But think of all the angels around you. Now think of all the ways YOU make things better for others, even in small ways. That’s being an angel.

Rest in peace, Ewa. I didn’t know you very well, and that is my loss. But please know the profound difference you made that morning when you said those beautiful words:

“Angels are all around you.”

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This is the eulogy that I wrote for Bob and read at his funeral.

How do you summarize and eulogize such a magnificent human being and a life so very, very well lived? How do you properly celebrate someone so extraordinary who not only gave, and gave, and gave, but more importantly — inspired others to do the same, all the while supporting a family and holding down numerous jobs?

No matter what gets written, and what gets spoken, it can’t measure up, or do justice to, the legacy of Bob “Papa” Shea.

That legacy is so rich — five children, nine grand children, seven great grand children, dozens of honorary members of the Bob Shea family, and more friends — real friends — than anyone.

Bob Shea was no-nonsense but loving, generous in the extreme, and had a wonderful sense of humor. And he was also a guy who spoke his mind. Oh, boy, he spoke his mind. You knew where you stood with Papa Shea.

A few weeks back, my wife Susan asked Bob to come with her to La Salette Shrine to see the Christmas lights.

Bob asked, “Is the heathen coming?”

He meant me. Papa Shea’s not-so-subtle way of telling me I need to start going to church again. And he would say it with a smile. I can’t count the number of times he would make me laugh; or tell me an amazing story about his life, or something he did to help people.

But more often than not, when you were with Bob, he talked about his family. And judging by the amount of time he spoke of them, his family was the greatest love of his life. There were the pictures, and the pictures, and the pictures! And the stories, and the light in his eyes, as he told you of the adventures of his grand children and great-grand children. He loved them all so much and would regale you with their stories of winning a game, an achievement in school, a birthday party, or a trip to the beach or family gathering.

He LOVED the kids so much.

And he had equal pride in the accomplishments of his adult children and their spouses, and he spoke so proudly of what they have achieved in their careers and families.

Bob loved completely. He loved all of you with his entire heart and soul.

That love was nurtured in his hometown of Rosedale, New York — a multi-national, multi-generational neighborhood that set so many of his core values into his soul — Family. Community. Generosity. Friendship. The value — and joy — in productive work. Respect for others. And an insatiable desire to be involved, to help. To make things better for others. And to light the way for the next generation to follow.

Bob’s life was all about helping others. One of the groups in town Bob loved was the Jaycees, and he best exemplified that line from our creed that reads, “Service to humanity is the best work of life.”

When called, Bob served. And when he saw a need, Bob not only volunteered but rallied and led others to help the cause.

He served this Nation honorably during wartime. Afterward, to support his young family, he endured 22 months of exile as an electrician near the North Pole — working in frigid, hellish conditions to send money back home. He worked a variety of jobs, sometimes — often — two at a time. He ran many of his own businesses, including restaurants.

His life took him across the country and in 1972, to our great fortune, he arrived in Foxboro, where he worked as a judge at the Foxboro Raceway, where he also raised and raced his beloved horses.

He was an active member of the Foxboro community and exemplified volunteerism and community service at its very best.

His “resume” would fill volumes: Past master of the Grange, and twice president of the Elder Gram — the predecessor to COA. Bob was a member of the Knights of Columbus AND Saint Alban’s Masonic Lodge. He created a program that brought gladiolas to the elderly. He was a driving force in the “Save our Sports” program for the Ahern School. Each Christmas Eve, he and another friend would bring poinsettias to the widows in Foxboro. He used to grow flowers in his own garden and bring them to employees at local banks and restaurants. He often made someone “queen for a day” and brought them little presents and flowers. When we needed a food pantry box at Shaws; all it took was a call to the Knights and Bob Shea built it.

Perhaps most significantly, Bob was one of the originators of the Foxboro Farm Stand for the discretionary fund. In addition to the years of hard work making that dream a reality, he also tended his own garden and gave the bounty to the farm stand.

In 1991 he said, “This way I have the joy of growing the garden, and the kids have the joy of receiving toys at Christmas time.”

And during that time, as busy as he was, he single-handedly coordinated the first “Rosedale Roundup” of over 1200 past and present members of his hometown. That was Bob — reuniting and maintaining community. In a picture of the first round-up, there’s a young Bob Shea with an old-fashioned camera around his neck.

I’m sure that’s how many people in this church remember Bob — the cameraman. Bob was the official photographer for the family and his community and friends, and he loved capturing special moments as gifts. On Founder’s Day, at weddings, christenings and family events, he would take pictures and then race to the one-hour photo and back to the event to ensure the images were presented the same day.

And friends, the small list just read is only a fraction of the acts of kindness Bob Shea performed. Because so very many of Bob’s community efforts were “under the radar.” Over the years, how many children had toys on Christmas because of Bob’s help at the farm stand? How many acts of kindness did he perform that we will never know about? How many times did he say something kind or inspirational to a young person? How many people did he help just by being himself? How many lives did he make better?

The answer? Far more than we will ever know.

We all have our stories of Bob; this one’s a good example of how I remember his sense of humor and story telling. A few years back, Bob stopped by my house while my wife was getting an old car running. The car made so much smoke while starting that Bob took me by the arm and said, totally matter-of-factly, “Let’s sit over there so when it explodes we don’t get killed.” He then regaled me with a tale of meeting Jimmy Stewart and Clark Gable, and his adventures at the North Pole.

He took such interest in people. If we were at a restaurant, he would ask the waitress what she was studying in school, or ask to see pictures of her children. And you couldn’t go out with Bob without bumping into someone he knew. And everyone was always glad to see him. Their affection for him was obvious.

And I would love to just listen to him — like the time he spoke with pride at the pictures he got at the original Woodstock. Or how he flirted with the waitresses as all the restaurants in Florida. ALL the waitresses. At ALL the restaurants. More often then not, there was a picture of a young, beautiful waitress, or flight attendant, giving Bob a kiss on the cheek.

An outing with Bob was also a history lesson — he had an incredibly sharp mind and his attention to detail was meticulous. You’d drive with him and he’d point — “There used to be a great restaurant there,” “That’s where so-and-so worked as a mechanic,” “I remember when that house was owned by a friend of mine … ” “There used to be great fishing in that lake …
” and so on.

When Bob traveled — and he loved to do so, he always chose the road less taken, and he stopped to get to know people, seek out the local Grange or Knights, and make new friends.

Speaking of travel, Bob’s family took him to the Bahamas a few years ago. Before the trip, Bob went to Wal-Mart and bought bags of new clothes, not for himself, but for the needy in the Bahamas, which he donated to a local church as soon as got off the ship.

That’s Bob Shea. That’s what he did. That’s who he was.

I asked family and friends to help describe Bob Shea; They said: He loved people. Always loved horses. He loved to live. Always well dressed. Paid attention to detail. Listened to YOU when you talked. What a memory. Everywhere he goes, he touches people’s life for the better. He appreciated the small things in life like a good meal. If you did anything no matter how small for him, he was so appreciative. Story teller. Most giving man in the world. So generous. Always had the camera, always took the pictures. One of God’s angels. Everybody’s “Papa” Shea.

Last week, before Bob passed away, the town of Foxboro awarded Bob a certificate recognizing his years of service. In part, it said, “Bob Shea has nurtured the sense of community that has made Foxboro so unique since its founding, an example of how many people can be touched by the caring of a single person. We remain indebted to Bob for his sense of caring, his willingness to work tirelessly to help others, and for the inspiration he provides our future generations.”

There was such a light around Bob Shea. And while the world is a little darker place without him here, I believe that we all have a new guardian angel, who is doubtless already volunteering to help us.

We pray to the good Lord that Bob is at Peace, in Heaven, and we thank God for the beautiful gift — that was the life of Bob “Papa” Shea.


You can read the profile I wrote of Bob in March 2009, which he loved, HERE


My wife Susan wrote this about Bob Shea:

I am convinced that Bob was one of God’s angels that walked among us. There are no words I can use to describe how blessed I feel to have had him in my life and to have experienced his unconditional love.

Bob told me that he considered me like a daughter to him and I was so proud to consider him like a father. Bob was the gentlest, kind, selfless, giving, loving person I know. He was and will always continue to be the best person I have ever known.

Bob made my life and the lives of so many so much better. He lifted me up every day when we spoke regardless of how he was feeling.

Bob was so funny and took great pride in making people smile and feel good. He taught me so much about so much. There was no subject that he was not familiar with and was able to share his wisdom about. Including telling it like it is.

He was not very rich in money … but he was the wealthiest man I have ever known.

Bob was also one of the strongest men and the most interesting person. There are just not adequate words to describe him or enough time to tell about him or share the amazing stories.

Despite my knowledge that his spirit will always remain with us and that I am grateful that he is free from pain, I find myself unable to imagine my life or this world without him. I pray that his beautiful spirit may rest … but knowing him … he is probably already telling everyone how to make things better and what to do … . and how to improve heaven. Bob, you were my angel here on earth and now, I know that you will be my angel in heaven.

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by Robert Gillis
Published in The Foxboro Reporter 12/2008 and 12/2005, and the Boston City Paper 12/2008

When I was a teenager, our friend Eileen Gustin worked at the information desk at nearby Saint Margaret’s Hospital on Cushing Avenue. Everyone liked her — she was like a wonderful aunt to all the neighborhood kids. She always had something good to say about everyone, and she was a person of very deep faith, with a strong love of God.

After three muggers jumped her on her way home from the hospital one afternoon, the neighborhood kids adopted the daily ritual of walking Eileen home from work. No one ever bothered her again.

Eileen and I were very close friends — we even shared the same birthday, November 19. A very religious woman, she was truly at peace with herself. Although she was a widow, her life was still joyous. She knew, she told me, that her husband Frank was in Heaven. Other people just say that. Eileen KNEW it was true.

I occasionally stopped at her apartment to see her. Over cookies and milk, she talked about where I was going in life, about faith and about God. As the Christmas season approached, Eileen often spoke of the Advent wreath.

As a Catholic, I was familiar with Advent — the four-week season of thoughtful reflection and prayer in anticipation of the arrival of Jesus on Christmas, which in 2008 starts November 30.

The Advent wreath is a round green wreath (which represents the eternity of God and eternal life in Christ) surrounding four candles (which represent the four weeks of Advent). Each Sunday, an additional candle is lit. The three purple candles represent penance and prayer. The rose candle is for the third Sunday, also called “Gaudete Sunday,” a day to rejoice that the time of His coming is so near.

Eileen talked a lot about the Advent wreath that year, and when I realized that she didn’t have one, I decided that I’d make her one as a gift. All it took was a stop at Kresgees for a Styrofoam ring, a plastic Christmas wreath and the four candles.

As I planned to visit her and present my gift, I learned that Eileen was in the hospital again. Although she was only in her mid-sixties, she had health problems. So I headed to Dorchester’s Carney Hospital, and found my friend.

“Hi Lovey,” Eileen greeted me from her hospital bed. She looked pretty good, I thought to myself. Tired, but pretty good. The oxygen tubes in her nose were the only real indication that she was sick.

“I made you a Christmas present,” I explained, unwrapping my gift. “I wanted you to have it now, so you could use it this coming Advent.”

“Oh, Lovey, it’s beautiful!” she beamed as I put the four candles into the Styrofoam ring.

“I know they won’t let you light candles in the hospital, so I made these,” and gave her four “flames” cut from red and orange construction paper that could be taped to the candles.

Sadly, Eileen only used the wreath for a short time; she died two weeks later. Her death was difficult for me, and I missed her smile, our talks, and her wisdom.

Through the years, I’ve often smiled as I thought about what a difference she made in my life — and what a good person she was. I am a better man for having known Eileen. I am closer to God because of her.

Many years later, in the mid 1990s, it was Christmas again and I was in Saint Mary’s here in Foxboro. I noticed the large Advent wreath on the altar. For whatever reason, I hadn’t made one since a year or two after Eileen died. But that morning, I looked at the church Advent wreath and thought, “I’m going to make one of those again.”

I set out to accomplish this special task that same day. A wreath from the local supermarket, four candles and ribbon from CVS, and four candleholders from our closet. I was all set.

It felt so right to have this special reminder of the real meaning of Christmas on the table again. I lit the candles one night and I thought, “Eileen, it’s been a long time, but I haven’t forgotten what you taught me.”

Every year since, I make a new Advent wreath. These days, for safety, I use electric candles with those “flicker-flame” bulbs rather than fire, but I still use a real wreath and colorful purple and rose ribbon on the four candles.

The Advent wreath’s presence helps keep me grounded during an insane and frenzied season, helps me to remember the real reason we celebrate this time of year, and also reminds me of the love of one very special friend from many years ago who will always be in my heart.

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by Robert Gillis; Foxboro Reporter December 2006

Mary Cicciu passed away November 10, and Foxboro has lost another of its rare gems.

I met Mary on Founders Day in 1995, at the senior’s tent on Booth playground, where her friends were celebrating her 84th birthday. I was immediately taken with her — she was special, and although I saw her infrequently, I just adored her.

Oh my Lord, what a feisty woman. She was short; very petite, but that small body held a fire and passion for life that people half her age have trouble finding.

Back in 1996, I’d written one of my very first columns for this newspaper; the subject was “exceptional senior citizens” I knew. I mentioned Mary by name, that she was an amazing woman, still going strong, working at the senior center (then at temporary quarters), and that she was an inspiration.

Well, she thought that was just wonderful. She clipped that column, showed it to a lot of people, and was still talking about it long afterward. It made me happy that she liked it so much.

I knew Mary best from my contact with her at the Foxboro Senior Center and COA. Mary worked with Lorraine Garland when Council on Aging was trying to find a permanent home, and worked for years after that dream became a reality, first with Lorraine, then with Vicki Withers and the incredible staff at COA.

In fact, not only does Mary’s name appear on one of the large brass plaques as you enter the Senior Center, she appears in the picture at the groundbreaking ceremony itself — Mary’s there in her little hardhat. She was so proud when the dream became reality — a permanent home for the much needed senior center.

Occasionally, I’d bump into Mary at Saturday morning mass at St. Mary’s; I would see her there with my cousin, Lorraine McMasters. She always seemed so happy to see me. She was like that with everyone — she looked at you with genuine interest and affection when she talked to you, and it just warmed your heart.

Mary was so memorable, and I thought I’d share some of favorite anecdotes …

In 1998, when Sue won “Citizen of the year,” we needed a way to get her to the community center unawares, so everyone told her it was Mary who had won. Sue was elated about Mary’s winning. Mary was in on the ploy and was there to congratulate Sue. (Mary loved Sue. She ALWAYS asked about Sue.) And I recall Sue mentioning that as honored as she was, she wished Mary HAD won!

I remember seeing Mary at one of the senior Christmas fairs, and I asked her how she was doing, and she told me she was in a very bad mood. I said, “Mary, you’re never in a bad mood, what’s the matter?” And she said, “I had to quit smoking.” Now at the time, Mary was about 90 years old, and I thought that was hilarious. I said, “Mary, you’re 90 years old, come on!” And she said, “Bob, I’m angry, I had to quit smoking, and I’m not happy about it.”

She was such a character, and she was so straightforward, so direct, no BS.

She broke her hip in 1999 — and returned to work at the senior center after healing in record time!

I don’t think I ever told anyone this next story. In 2002, on the day before what would have been my Nana’s 100th birthday, for some reason I bought two packages of flowers. One bouquet I placed on Nana’s grave, but for some reason I wanted to give the other bunch to a living person — someone special — and I immediately thought of Mary. So I stopped by her house and gave them to her. I told her that the next day would have been Nana’s 100th, and I wanted another of my favorite seniors to have the other flowers. I told her I loved her. I thought she was going to cry.

That same day, I dropped a truckload of donated food from Stop & Shop at the food pantry. On my way out of her house, Mary had provided me with an armload of extra supermarket plastic bags that she said she “pilfered” when she went shopping. She said she usually grabbed more but the employees were looking at her funny — I promised to say nice things at her trial if she was arrested for stealing empty shopping bags for the food pantry.

In 2003, I wrote a column about the senior Christmas fair and wrote this about Mary: “First, I just adore Mary Cicciu. At 91, this feisty, sweet, amazing senior still works full time at COA, walks without a cane, is sharp as a tack and is an inspiration to people half her age. I wrote years ago how remarkable I believed Mary to be, and that impression has only increased with time. I love her dearly. At the fair she was manning the “mitten tree” and selling other holiday goods, chatting with everyone she met like an old friend … Whether I see Mary at mass, around town or at COA, she always has something good to say, always greets me with a hug, and is sincerely loved by so many people. Mary, we adore you.”

Mary worked at the Senior Center until — I believe — 2004, when she just couldn’t do it anymore. I think having to finally retire really broke her heart — she loved to work, she loved being out and about with the people and friends she loved so much.

And that was one of the many reasons Mary was so remarkable — at an age when most people are twenty years past retirement and at least a decade past thinking about “winding down,” Mary continued to be an inspiration to everyone, a 90-ish woman who worked four days a week and made a difference.

The last time I saw her was at the Senior Christmas Fair in 2005. She wasn’t working the fair that day, just visiting. Lorraine McMasters had brought her there.

I gave Mary an advance copy of my “Nana” book, and read part of the dedication to her: “To Mary Cicciu, one of the most remarkable seniors I’ve ever met. Mary, I love you.” That seemed to mean a lot to her.

I’m not the one to tell Mary’s life story — her childhood, her family, her highs and lows — that wasn’t the Mary I knew.

The Mary I knew was a woman whose advanced age and petite stature belied an exuberant spirit, a love of life and a joy in helping others. She was an inspiration; she was a true friend.

I’m very sorry to learn of her passing, but I don’t mourn her, I celebrate her life and am thankful we all knew her.

God bless you Mary. You were one of the grand dames of Foxboro, and you will never, ever be forgotten.

I love you, Mary. Rest in peace.

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by Robert Gillis
Published in the Boston City Paper July 2006

It was with great sadness that I learned of the death of Father Clement L. Pelletier, SJ, on October 26, 2005. Father Pelletier served the B.C. High community for over forty years and was one of those men — one of those great priests, great human beings that I always remember so fondly.

For three of my four years at B.C. High, (it was Father Callahan in sophomore year), Father Pelletier was my French teacher. He was gregarious, friendly, kind, and had a sense of humor that was all too rare for an instructor.

I wasn’t great at French and often struggled to keep up my B, but he was always there, always available, always kind. When I needed a recommendation letter to Boston College, he was the teacher I asked to write it. And although finances prevented me from attending that college, I am sure his recommendation helped me gain that acceptance letter.

His many obituaries do not mention his great love of photography. He always had his camera and hundreds — maybe thousands — of the pictures in BC High yearbooks throughout the decades were his work. Looking back on my own 1983 yearbook, I see so many examples of his excellent photography. He is listed as the Renaissance (our year book’s name) moderator of photography but he was so much more.

His French class was always enjoyable. He had a lot of running themes and mannerisms that were very endearing. For example, we prayed before each class, and his prayer always began, “We ask you God our father.” He often added a prayer that when we got our test scores back we would not kick ourselves anywhere that would do permanent damage! He would tell us to pass up our homework, “Quick like a bunny,” and when asked if this was an easy or hard test, he always gave the same response, “Medium.”

When someone wasn’t paying attention (often that was me) he would tap on that person’s desk and sing, “Good morning to you!”

He had traveled many times to France and every Christmas, the last class before vacation was spent showing his slides of that beautiful country. For us, it brought the language alive.

He once related a very funny story to me. A jovial man, he was always very respectful and polite to parents during teacher/parent conferences. But one night, a student’s mother came to the school wearing a preposterous hat with large springs, from each dangled a piece of plastic fruit. Even the slightest nod of her head caused the entire contraption to bounce around, fruit everywhere. Father told me he nearly busted a gut to keep from laughing.

Father Clement Pelletier was a beautiful human being, an outstanding teacher, a terrific, loyal priest, and a genuine friend to all who knew him.

Rest in peace, Father Pelletier, You were one of the best priests — one of the best people — I ever met. My life is better because you were part of it.

Robert Gillis, BC High, proud member of the class of 1983.


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