Rants | RobertXGillis

Cell Phone Abuse

04. May 2007 · Write a comment · Categories: Computers / Tech, Rants

By Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter and the Boston City Paper, 5/2007

While I am generally not prone to murderous rage, I think one day I’m just going snap and bludgeon a cell phone user to death, and I think I have a fair chance that a jury will be sympathetic.

The general public has taken a technological marvel (a cell phone) that was supposed to make our lives more convenient and accessible, and turned it into something that has amplified rudeness to the nth degree.

I acknowledge that cell phones are handy and have become as much as part of our daily life as, oh, I don’t know, breathing. They have a purpose and can be useful. I (reluctantly) own one and yes, it has come in handy on more than one occasion. But I barely use the thing. I have a five hour a month plan and I doubt I’ve ever gone over 90 minutes.

I am clearly in the minority here. The larger percentage of the people I encounter daily are at some point in the day doing something else while yapping on the cell phone. Invariably, I am in a trapped situation (train / work / elevator / canoe) where I can’t get away and am therefore subjected to VERY LOUD TALKING and a conversation I: a) am not part of; b) is none of my business and c) could not possibly care less about.

“I’M ON THE TRAIN!” they say thirty times. “I SAID I’M ON THE TRAIN! I’M GOING TO LOSE YOU! I’M ON THE TRAIN. WE’RE GOING THROUGH THE TUNNEL! I’M GOING TO LOSE YOU!”

Oh, you’re about to lose something, all right.

Cute story: I was riding the Red Line one night with my mom. A guy on his cell started the “I’M ON THE TRAIN” thing, and I was so annoyed that so I pulled my cell phone from my jacket, flipped it open, and started doing the same thing. “I’m at south Station. SOUTH STATION! I’M ON THE TRAIN!” My mom thought it was hilarious. The guy on the cell phone making all the noise? Right over his head. Never got the joke.

I love the people who get on the cell phone and start yelling at their kids / spouse / partner / hamster. You’d think they’d be embarrassed. They are clearly not. To reiterate: A conversation I: a) am not part of; b) is none of my business and c) could not possibly care less about.

I’m all for freedom of speech, but how about shutting the thing off when it’s not appropriate (church, theater, movie, anger management class, school room, etc).

Newsflash #1: Guess what? You aren’t carrying the nuclear launch codes and you’re not a thoracic surgeon on call. It’s OK to be out of reach for 30 minutes. Let them leave a message. Let them call back.

Every time I am in a public bathroom and I hear someone in a stall on a cell phone, I deliberately flush as many toilets as possible. I want the person on the other end of the cell phone to know where the call is originating. Blech!

I really dislike the people who are in line for anything (bank, supermarket, food) who conduct a transaction while on the phone. It is really rude to the person behind the counter. “I’M AT THE STORE. THE STORE! NO, I’M PAYING NOW. YES, I GOT THE PICKLED BAT NECTAR!”

And even I — quiet, little old me — broke character and gave a woman at Stop & Shop a baleful (great word, that) stare when she was talking so loudly on her phone that my ears actually hurt.

Newsflash #2: Cell phone technology today is really good. Unlike two tin cans and a string, YELLING IS NOT NECESSARY ON A CELL PHONE.

But believe it or not, I have a bigger issue with cell phones: The Ring Tone. Cell phone ring tones are loud and intrusive. Like a fire alarm, they let you know something bad is about to happen. They are the worst thing about cell phones because suddenly every cell phone user needs to PERSONALIZE their cell phone experience — usually as shrill and deafeningly as possibly.

And God help us, ring tones are big business. HUGE business. They are not going away.

Newsflash #3: You think your ring tone makes a personal statement about you — you’re right — for most of you, it says you are deaf and like to annoy people. It also shows you are unprofessional, rude, and in many cases, childish.

MY cell phone rings by going beep-beep-beep. Quietly. That’s it. My hearing is fantastic. If it were not, I’d set the volume A LITTLE BIT louder, or set the phone to vibrate, I would not chose the highest setting because that would bother other people. But I’m me. Y’know, um … Considerate of others.

My phone does not play Justin Timberlake’s “Sexyback” uncensored version (woman at work, real professional); it does not play “Joyful, Joyful” (guy in store); or ring loudly like an old-style telephone (jerk on commuter rail). It does not play the Mission Impossible theme loudly (guy at work); or announce “CALL FROM MOBILE 617-555-1212″ before it breaks into a jazzy tune (guy on subway).

As I am writing this, I noticed that a co-worker has changed her ring tone to a VERY VERY LOUD series of chimes and chirps. I jumped a mile when it went off. She gave me a sheepish grin. I mollified myself by imagining the phone being ground to pieces in a tree chipper.

Oh, not to worry — it’s not like I have PTSD or anything. Oh, wait a minute, yes, I do.

Here’s a metaphor to clarify. If you suffer from bad allergies, the loud cell phone ring tone is the woman who gets on the bus wearing three gallons of bad perfume and holding a box of ragweed pollen.

Newsflash #4: Guess what? A cell phone is also called a MOBILE PHONE. That means you can take it with you. So stop leaving it on your desk and allow your loud ring tones to go off unabated.

I’ve searched for solutions, from the: a) violent but effective (smash the offending cell phone with a hammer — probably not a good career move) to: b) the tried and true (remove the battery, shut off the phone, ditto) to the: c) wimpy (leave an anonymous note, not my style). None of these are options for me, and I’m not the type to get confrontational on the commuter rail with every jerk (and there are hundreds of them) who want to share their: a) earth-shattering ring tone; b) private life; c) argument; with the rest of us.

Piercing ring tones and deafening, lengthy cell phone calls in public places are an invasion of privacy, inconsiderate, annoying, and discourteous.

I don’t want to see an outbreak of cell-phone violence. I don’t want new laws and regulations — I just want a massive dose of common courtesy. I want people to understand that cell phone usage in certain public situations is inappropriate, rude, and offensive, or at the very least should be conducted discretely and quietly, and briefly. Your cell phone ring tone and conversation should not bother other people.

So, please? Can you turn it down? Can you make the call later? Can you switch to a ring tone that’s not so shrill?

On behalf of the millions of us who suffer your cell phone abuse every day, we would greatly appreciate it.

The bill of no rights

29. April 2003 · Write a comment · Categories: Rants

By Robert Gillis
Published in The Foxboro Reporter April 2003 and the Boston City Paper July 2006

With all the important news lately about National Security, the Total Information Act, Internet privacy, and the balance of personal freedoms versus public safety, much has been discussed recently regarding our “rights.”

Unfortunately, in our society there seem to be people who justify or excuse their anti-social and destructive behavior by saying they have a “right” to behave poorly. With that in mind, I thought I’d provide the following handy list; which I have named, “The Bill of NO rights.”

In no particular order:

You do not have the right to violate other people’s space with your noise. Turn down the woofer on your car stereo — there should be NO reason for others to be able to hear the rumbling booms of your car stereo from half a mile away or even from the car behind you. I’m not kidding. I have been out walking my dogs late at night and I can hear the BOOM of a car stereo long before I see headlights coming down the street. The stadium just called; the Rolling Stones asked if you could please turn down your car stereo.

You do not have the right to inflict your cell phone on the rest of us. Turn your ringer down and stop taking calls in movies, churches, restaurants, and bathrooms … In fact, leave the room when you take your calls — no one is interested in your personal phone business. You do not look important walking around with the phone glued to your ear (in fact, you look like those chattering monkeys yakking on bananas in the Verizon commercial!). And for goodness sake, the technology has improved dramatically — stop yelling into your cell phone — the person on the other end can hear you just fine.

You do not have the right to provide TMI — Too Much information. No one is interested in the explicit details of your surgery, sickness, and bedroom exploits. We don’t care how much you paid for your house, how you saw a cross section of your kidney, or the gory details of your stomach flu. For most of us, we don’t want to know what you do in your private time.

You do not have the right to talk smack about other people because they are different than you — straight or gay, rich or poor, republican or democrat, black, white, or green, it’s none of your business. Keep your own house in order and stop wondering about what goes on in others. On that note, whatever happens between two CONSENTING ADULTS is none of your business.

You do not have the right to complain about any elected official or election issue if you do not vote. Decisions are made by those who show up.

You do not have the right to judge today’s kids by the standards of your own youth. We grew up differently than our parents, who grew up differently than our grandparents, and so on. Today’s kids are not better or worse — they are just different, and trying to find their own way.

You do not have the right to call anyone stupid because they are not an expert on a particular subject. The only stupid people are those who refuse to use common sense. Say it with me: You do not have the right to blame others when you have jettisoned common sense. If you smoke and develop cancer, you do not have the right to blame the cigarette companies — warning labels have been on cigarettes and cigarettes ads for nearly FORTY years. If you balloon up to 400 pounds you do not have the right to blame McDonalds for your six-big-Mac a day habit. If you have a car accident while on your cell phone you have no right to Sue the car company, cell phone maker, State, or other drivers.

You do not have the right to blame movies and televisions for your children’s language or actions if you’re never around to talk to them.

You do not have the right to Spam email. Stop forwarding every joke email, blessing, rumor and touching miracle story to the 700 people on your computer mailing list. Not sending the email to 10 friends in the next two minutes will not result in your being hit by a truck or having bad luck. There’s no tax on email. There is no email-tracking program that will send you money for every email you send. There is no kid with cancer who needs your email. If it sounds to good to be true it usually is. Please — stop the Spam!

You do not have the right to blame everyone BUT yourself. The evidence that everyone is out to persecute you just isn’t that compelling. Everyone else is busy with his or her own concerns and problems. If you feel everyone in the universe is wrong, guess what, it ain’t the universe that’s the problem.

You do not have the right to treat people rudely or poorly because you are busy or hurting. We are all busy and we all carry our own baggage.

And finally, you do not have the right to take your “real” rights and freedom for granted. Be for or against anything you wish, but remember that your freedom to protest and disagree was won by the struggles and deaths of many, many people. This world would be a far better place if people would stop yammering about their “rights” as an excuse for bad behavior or not exercising common sense.

This column was brought to you in cooperation with my right to free speech.

Eminem

06. March 2001 · Write a comment · Categories: Music, Rants

by Robert Gillis
Published in The Foxboro Reporter 3/2001

Warning, the following column contains references to songs containing crude language and images of terrible violence. Parental discretion is advised. Parents are also advised to talk to their children about the music they listen to.

First off, I’m not one of those people who hits 35 and suddenly all the current music of the day is “noise.” I love most pop music, and I even enjoy the bubble gum sounds of Brittany Spears and Backstreet Boys. My music tastes run somewhat eclectic, my all time favorite is Springsteen, but I like adult contemporary, some Jazz, most kinds of pop music, a lot of the new age artists like Yanni and Enya, and even listen to hip-hop on occasion. I like all kinds of music.

Second, this is America and I don’t want to see censorship. Freedom of speech is paramount (and guaranteed) and must be upheld. When self-appointed moralists start dictating what is and isn’t appropriate for the rest of us poor slobs, I start to worry.

Third, crude language or “shocking” behavior is often just stamped as such because of the times, or because artists are trying to make a name for themselves. Elvis Presley was pretty shocking and offensive to a lot of people when he first arrived on the scene. So were many other musicians. But time passes, and some notions — such as Elvis being televised from the waist up on the Ed Sullivan Show — seem almost puritanical these days.

Finally, something offensive to one person might not be offensive to others. It’s like the difference between art and pornography — it’s hard to define, but you know it when you see it.

Last week, I tuned my car radio to one of the hip-hop stations, and listened to nothing else for a week. I found that I enjoyed many of the songs (they had a good beat you could dance to). It wasn’t the type of music I always listen to, but I found I liked a lot of it. I’ve danced to these songs in clubs.

But since these stations’ target audience is the 14 and up crowd, I was more troubled by the extremely explicit lyrics contained in many of the songs. There wasn’t any nuance or subtlety in lines like “put it on me” and “we were both buck naked, banging on the bathroom floor.” I was amazed by the number of songs with very explicit sex references, followed by a commercial talking about respecting girls who say no.

With all of the above in mind, I want to talk about the notorious singer called Eminem. You may have heard of him; he’s the guy who sings the “Slim Shady” song and there’s been a lot of controversy about him because of the lyrics and content in his songs. Many people are outraged that he’s been nominated for Grammies. For many people, the offense is not that Eminem’s song lyrics are those words you can’t say on TV (or here in this paper). The problem is the subject matter of his songs, and what those songs advocate.

I gave his CD a listen, then another. I had to make one immediate adjustment and simply filter out the vulgar language. Everything was F this and F that, every man was his enemy or a homosexual, every woman was a whore or a B****H, so I had to ignore it. It wasn’t always easy. Some of the language was so bad that I felt embarrassed to listen to it in the car alone while driving.

This guy is angry. He’s angry at the fans, angry with other singers stealing “his” style, angry with his family and all the vultures who want a piece of him. Many of the songs are “streams of consciousness” and ranting about how unfairly he is judged, and how angry he is. Others are just threats to hurt people. Drug use is so prevalent in the songs it’s almost casual, and the graphic violence is everywhere.

One song, entitled, “Stan,” was about a crazed fan who gets more and more angry with his idol when he won’t respond to his letters. The writer ends up tying up his pregnant girlfriend in the trunk of his car, overdosing on vodka and pills, and driving off a bridge. Charming.

Another song, titled, “I’m gonna kill you,” is the type of ranting that gets kids expelled from schools and restraining orders filed. “You don’t F with Shady, because Shady will F kill you,” the song goes, talking about cutting off one guys hands and feet with a chain saw, and dragging a woman into the woods to “paint the forest” (with her blood).

In another, Eminem talks to a classroom of kids about violence and murder, in another, the subject is attacking a musical group he hates, and encouraging fans to throw things at this group and hurt them.

Every woman in his songs is degraded; every woman is a whore, a slut, and a b***h. In one of the worst songs, the entire song is a very realistic “fight” between the singer and his girlfriend Kim. While their child sleeps, he finds that she has cheated on him, so he trashes the house, screams hysterically and threatens, finally dragging her by the hair into his car, where he screeches and shrieks some more, finally choking her to death in the woods. (He doesn’t just sing about it, you hear the struggle and the gasping). “Plead! Plead for your life” he raves, while he kills her. The songs end with the sounds of a body being buried and a car driving away.

I shut off the tape player after that one. It sounded so realistic it was chilling. I felt like I wanted to throw up.

There’s a lot of music out there that contains foul language, but some of it is clearly just for a little shock value or to make a song spicier. But this is different. Even getting beyond the language, there is so much deep, deep anger and vile hatred in these songs, and the images that are evoked: Rape, violence, murder, are absolutely overwhelming. It’s all uncontrolled, homicidal rage. This guy isn’t a trailblazer. He’s just dangerous. And his ideas are lethal. They are poison.

It’s like being inside the mind of a serial killer.

There’s no value in any of these songs; there’s no rebellion against outdated notions, there’s nothing that encourages a new way of thinking. There’s no nuances or subtlety. It’s all ranting and images of horror. Even some horror movies have artistic merit, but this is just … well, very angry and violent and destructive.

This is a cancer.

Any journalist who writes about musical lyrics invariably falls back on the old cliché’s: freedom of speech, if you don’t like it don’t buy it, parents, discuss this with your kids, parents have to be more involved in their kids lives, and so on.

All of that is valid. Freedom of speech is necessary and everyone’s right. If Eminem wants to vomit this filth into the record stores, that is his right. And yes, people — lots of people — will buy it. Nothing we can do about that, and we shouldn’t. Censorship is wrong, because I for one don’t trust the censors. But parents keep this away from your children. Hell, keep it away from yourselves.

We must not honor this music. We must not honor advocating hatred and violence and degradation and rape. We must not honor Eminem with Grammies. Grammies and other awards should be given for artistic merit and for redefining music. Even if the music shocks out and bucks the norm, it can have merit. a lot of past Grammy winners have done that. But when the music advocates rape, violence, hatred, intolerance, and murder, it should be squashed like a dangerous, poisonous insect.

Next week, his CD will be in a trash bag on my curb, waiting to be taken to the dump, where it will remain in a landfill for the next five hundred years. Hopefully, the
idea of giving Eminem a Grammy will also be trashed.

Gun Show! (The Gun Show Loophole)

24. November 1996 · Write a comment · Categories: Around Foxboro, Rants

by Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter, 11/1996 and the Boston City Paper in revised format 11/2006

“…A DANGEROUS “gun show loophole” continues to allow criminals and terrorists to legally buy and sell guns in the United States on a cash-and-carry, no-questions-asked basis.

At approximately 5,000 gun shows each year in 32 states, criminals and terrorists are allowed to purchase firearms from private gun dealers without an ID or background check. Although many gun dealers are federally licensed and therefore legally required to contact the National Instant Criminal Background Check System to ensure that a prospective purchaser is not prohibited from possessing firearms, private sellers have no such requirement.” — Boston Globe, August 16, 2008

In the same year that a very loved couple was brutally slain in their Foxboro Home, and in the same week that one Foxboro youth was killed at a party and another was left fighting for his life, and in the very same day that an eight year old boy accidentally shot his little brother with a gun he found in their home, and on the same day that the news reported more and more aggressive people are using knives and guns on highways, and on the same day that a man was convicted of beating his wife to death and cutting out her internal organs, and on the day a Stoughton man was charged with shooting a 19 year old Everett youth, this little gem ran in this very paper:

“Firearm and Custom Knife Show/Sale!” Against a silhouette of a gun were the words, “350 Tables! Fine collectable firearms. Custom knives. Modern Rifles. Handguns. Shotguns. Swords. Ammo. Parts. Militaria. $1 off admission with this ad.” I almost expected the words, “Kids admitted free!”

At the top of the ad, in tiny print, were the words, “Handguns sold only to permit holders and policemen.” Well, that’s good to know, anyway. Hey, wait. Does that mean I don’t need to have a permit to buy a custom knife? Where do you go to buy a permit for a sword? Can I get one like the Highlander guy uses to chop off people’s heads? (Then I would finally get some respect from that company that botched my new heating system!) Maybe I need a nice custom knife. And I forget that list on the fridge: “Need bread, milk, and ammo.” While I do support the constitutional right to bear arms, and while I do have a friend in the army who is a gun enthusiast, I think there’s an obvious line between the right to bear arms and a modern rifle or shotgun. There’s a big difference between wanting a handgun to protect your home and owning a sword that looks like it’s something out of medieval times. There’s a difference between buying a shotgun to hunt Bambi and Thumper and collecting weapons of destruction.

Do you have any idea how many people die each year playing with an “unloaded” gun?

I’m no gun expert, but my friend Sean, who is an army sergeant and stationed at Fort Bragg, and has several gun permits, is. A few years back, he took several of us to a shooting range and demonstrated the proper way to fire a handgun, and fired several shotguns, including a nasty one called a Hakeem that exploded a cinder block like it was a watermelon dropped from a ten-story building.

I learned one thing that day: Respect. A healthy respect for those nasty weapons, and I realized that most of them are probably too dangerous to be out on the street.

It really scares the hell out of me that so many people think gun and weapon collecting is a hobby. Comic books are a hobby. Many sports are hobbies. Painting is a hobby. And as much as I dislike the notion of people going into the woods with guns to shoot helpless animals, I do acknowledge that hunting is a hobby, too. But gun and knife collection — well again, it just scares the hell out of me.

I know, I know: “When guns are outlawed only outlaws will have guns.” Probably true. I’m not proposing we outlaw guns. You want a gun to protect the homestead or yourself, fine. Get a permit and learn to use the thing. But do you really need a shotgun? Do you really need a knife that most people would use to carve an elephant? Why would you ever need to buy a sword or a custom knife? Is the Thanksgiving turkey really that difficult to slice that the old ginsu just doesn’t do the trick anymore?

I remember years ago (true story) I saw a store in New Hampshire with a big sign that said, “We sell beer, wine and ammunition.” What a great idea! One stop shopping! How about selling cocaine next to the flame-throwers?

Why do we sanction a gun show like this when our communities are so troubled? Recently, many of our community and church leaders have echoed the need for respect. We have high school kids spitting at rival teammates, kids who don’t respect their parents, and acts of prejudice ripping apart our community. People have died in these sleepy towns from acts of barbaric violence.

We also know that many parents are not monitoring the incredible violence and profanity their children are exposed to through television and radio. The kids become desensitized to it all.

With the all the obstacles we face, do we really need to glorify the weapons of destruction and make them so readily available? Do we need to encourage the enthusiasm for objects specifically designed to kill and horribly injure people?

Let’s have more of those “gun buyback” campaigns like the one channel 10 ran a few weeks back. You could drop off your gun at the local police station, no questions asked, and they even gave you a $25 gift certificate. It was a great idea and collected many guns.

Let’s keep the guns in the hands of the law-enforcement people, military, licensed hunters, and licensed private citizens wanting to protect their homes and selves. Let’s get rid of the extreme weapons, and the shotguns and swords and custom knives.

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people, they say. But guns sure do make it a lot easier.