This is kind of fun — there’s no prize involved, but I was a runner-up on the Superman Homepage many times times; I’ve posted some of my favorite runner-up wins here…
In addition too being the most comprehensive and best Superman site in the world, each month they post a silly Superman picture and invite readers to post humorous captions.
Check out the site; it’s excellent. http://www.supermanhomepage.com
robertgillis:
Lex: “I am called… The Blur!”
Superman: “You can’t use that name.”
Batman: “Because it’s stupid.”
Superman: “I was going to say it was taken, but stupid works just as well.”
robertgillis:
Kal-El: “Daddy, why is a monkey crawling into my spaceship?”
Jor-El: “That’s just Beppo, my son. We will retcon him later.”
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Superman-Black: “Dude, it’s been four hours, you really should see a doctor.”
robertgillis:
Crisis on Earth 1/2
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Superman: “And in the third movie, I develop a drinking problem.”
Iron Man: “Way ahead of you.”
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“My attorney will be in touch about your son throwing my other piano.”
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Lara: “My son, consider, once it is done you will become an ordinary man. You can be hurt like an ordinary man. You will grow fat, like an ordinary man.”
robertgillis:
If Tim Burton made a Superman movie in 2010
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Peter: “Sorry, I was looking for the Fortress of Baileytude.”
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Little Girl: “Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?”
Superman: “So help me Rao.”
robertgillis:
General Lane: “Clark, do you like movies about Turkish prisons?”
robertgillis:
The next time someone asks if you’re a god, YOU SAY YES!!!!!
robertgillis:
TV announcer: “We now project Lex Luthor has won the 2012 presidential election. Wait — Florida is too close to call. Wait — Florida has just been vaporized. We now project Lex Luthor has won the 2012 presidential election”
Two runners up this time 🙂
robertgillis:
Superman: “37?”
Lois: “37.”
Superman: “In a row???!!!!!”
robertgillis:
This is no fantasy. No careless product of wild imagination. I ask you now to pronounce judgment on those accused. On this… This mindless TV movie, whose only means of entertaining are wanton canon-violation and bad musical numbers. And on the woman Leslie Anne Warren, whose unreasoning hatred of any fashion sense has threatened even the children of the Planet Hollywood. Finally, David Wilson. Chief architect of this intended revolution and author of this insidious plot to ruin a generation’s version of Superman!
robertgillis:
Lex in Stewie Griffin voice: “I’ve been gone for three years but look at the bright side Clark, now you’ve been able to work on that… Superman thing. You know, becoming Superman… Been working on that for quite some time now.” [Voice gets higher] “Got, a nice costume, do you? Some red and blue? A cape?” [Voice gets higher] “Been, flying around, saving people openly? You know, FLYING? Not wallowing around in angst anymore? [Voice gets higher] Give the papers something new to write about… Keep the readers guessing?” [Voice gets higher] “Everyone learns that the hero’s journey isn’t always a happy one?” [Voice returns to normal] “I look forward to seeing it.”
robertgillis:
Clark: “So, you’re a werewolf, and you live in Boston with a ghost and Doomsday?”
Jimmy: “In this continuity, he’s a vampire.”
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Clark: “In Action Comics #900, I renounced my citizenship.”
Jimmy: “Oh my God!”
Clark: “April fool! It was just a one-shot story with no follow up, ever.”
Jimmy: “Yeah, speaking of that, meet Jason…”
robertgillis:
The Superman III drinking game: You take a drink every time something that was SUPPOSED to be funny is NOT. At this poinnnnnn in theeheh mmmoooovviueeeeeee yoooouuuseeeee seee that Ric Richard Pry Pror is iz ripping off his the shirt because I love you man can I get another round?
robertgillis:
Superman: “Don’t worry Mom, Dad, this Mephisto guy said everything will be fine come September.”
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Superman: “And Jor-El said, I had to live as a mortal man. So we got married and then I ignored her for 20 years.”
robertgillis:
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s OH MY GOD IT’S COMING RIGHT AT US! RUN! RUN!
robertgillis:
Tonight on “Jeffrey Taylor’s Nightmares…”
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Mr. McTavish: “Ben Affleck?”
George: “No, but I get that a lot.”
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Blue Clark: “So future boy, who’s president in 2017?”
Future Clark: “Lex Luthor.”
Blue Clark: “Lex Luthor? The Actor?”
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Future Clark: “Henry Clark Kent. Nice to meet you.”
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Future Clark: “Myself… You do not remember me. I am Clark Kent – the way he’s supposed to be. By now you will have reached your 24th year. By that reconing, Smallville will have been creatively dead for thousands of years.”
robertgillis:
Storekeeper: “Sorry, I mistook you for Tom Welling but you’re wearing a Superman costume. My mistake.”
robertgillis:
Superman guy: “Hey Annie, give me another plate of that garbage.”
Storekeeper: “Garbage? That’s my number one special!”
robertgillis:
Wait – wasn’t Linda Danvers just eating that same ice cream cone?
robertgillis:
Steve Younnis: “Sorry everyone, but so many people requested this young lady’s phone number that the comments section crashed. Please resubmit your comment again.”
robertgillis:
There’s kinky, there’s erotic, there’s just plain wrong, and then there’s… THIS.
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Bull: “Yeah, A BIG, FLOWING, ***RED*** CAPE! Really smart, there, Superman. Just brilliant.”
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Michael: “How many comments did Gillis put in this time?”
Jeffrey: “Only twenty-two this time.”
Michael: “Not enough, he has to do as least fifty for a pity vote!”
robertgillis
Don’t call me Superboy!
robertgillis
Batman: “Hello, hello, anybody home? Think, Kent! Think! Can you imagine if I handed in the reports to Wayne Enterprises is YOUR handwriting? I’d get fired! You wouldn’t want that, WOULD YOU????”
Superman: “Gulp, ah, of course not Bruce…”
robertgillis:
Superman: “Those lapels! That hair! The bell bottoms! You people look ridiculous!”
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Lois: “Now, remember, this is the 1940s. World War II. Gritty realism. Life and Death. Now let’s go do a story on the mechanical monsters!”
robertgillis:
The next time someone asks if you’re a Kryptonian, YOU SAY YES!
robertgillis:
Zod: “I said Time Out! What part of that do you not understand?”
Superman: “You’re destroying Smallville.”
Zod: “And I need to catch my breath. So time out!”
robertgillis:
Henry: “Well, I’m off to film the most important scene in the movie!”
Amy: “Break a neck!”
Henry: “Don’t you mean, ‘Break a leg?””
Amy: ‘Whatever.”
robertgillis:
The new “Death of Superman” story line features a look at Superman’s experience in Hell.
robertgillis:
Jor-El: “It is forbidden! Forbidden!”
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That costume.. This lasso — it all makes sense now! Jimmy is really Superman AND Wonder Woman!”
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Kara: “It’s Superman!”
Hank: “How can you tell?”
Kara: “He’s off camera.”
robertgillis:
SQUIRREL!
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Caped Wonder Stuns Florists.
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We later learn this is Henry James Olsen.
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The horror as Jimmy realizes Aunt Louisa’s phone can’t take a selfie.
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Lois has been re-cast for season 2!