RobertXGillis

RobertXGillis

25+ years of published Op/Ed columns, professional photography, my first book and more from the 28 known galaxies!

RobertXGillis
  • About Me
  • My professional photography
  • Nana – my first published book
  • Gillis Photo and Nana Videos
  • Site Map
  • Nativity

Fugitive from Justice!

  • Humor


by Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter and the Boston City Paper 8/2006

And you thought you knew me.

Bob Gillis, the writer guy from the Reporter. Active in the community. Always eager to help. Always smiling, always cheerful. Devoted husband, beloved family guy. Humanitarian. Humble. Bob, the nice guy.

Law abiding citizen.

And now …

Fugitive from Justice. Grand Theft Auto.

How could such an idealistic life and career be brought down faster than Tom Cruise jumping up and down on Oprah’s couch?

It all started with a car inspection.

As a LAW ABIDING citizen I obey the law and bring my car in for its annual inspection. Now, the inspection place was local but I don’t want to disparage the business so let’s just call it the Ozzies.

It’s a beautiful Saturday morning and my car has failed its inspection. The brakes apparently did not pass muster. I’m a little confused, as when I step on the brake pedal the car does indeed stop. If Brakes=Stop then car=good, right? Apparently not.

Not a problem, the tech tells me that if I will bring the car back Monday, he will be happy to drive me to work and make the necessary repairs. How nice! I agree, and he gives me back my registration and leaves. The manager who was behind the counter has vanished.

“Hello?” I call out. Nothing. “Hello?”

My car is out front, so I assume that I simply pay when I return on Monday.

As Julia Roberts once said: “BIG MISTAKE. HUGE.”

“Ok, I’ll see you on Monday, then,” I say to no one as I get into my car and drive the short distance back home, my car brandishing its very first scarlet letter “R” for all to see. (The sticker was actually blue, but the literary allusion would make no sense unless I say Scarlet.)

So anyway, my bride and I decide to spend this lovely Saturday out and about, and after an entirely pleasant day, I returned home to find a printout in my mailbox from the police: “Query/Stolen Vehicle” it says, listing all my information, and a note from one of our police, which said that apparently I’d forgotten to pay Ozzies; and could I please go up and pay them.

I was a wanted man, I thought to myself. I’d stolen a car, apparently. My own, ten year old, 172,000 mile car, but a stolen vehicle nonetheless. Grand Theft Auto!

So after stewing about this for the rest of the weekend and enjoying my last day of freedom, first thing Monday morning, I returned to Ozzies. Their customer service was still top notch, as I waited inside the empty building for ten minutes while the manager talked on his cell phone outside. He finally entered the building and stepped behind the counter and looked at me as a way of greeting.

“Hi,” I chirped. “I need to pay this $29 for the inspection that I couldn’t pay Saturday because no one was around.”

“Oh, yes,” he said, a small smile on his face. The humor of the situation eluded me. He took out a copy of the report that read, “No pay.” Succinct. Nice.

I placed the $29 cash on the counter. “I’ll need two copies of the receipt,” I explained, “I need to bring a copy to the Foxboro Police Department because you apparently reported my vehicle was stolen.” I enunciated the Police department part clearly. Nothing.

“Uh-huh,” he said. I clearly was not making a connection here. He added, “I don’t have a copy of the receipt.”

“No problem at all,” I said pleasantly, handing him a copy of the receipt I had made. “I need you to sign this one as paid as well, for the Foxboro Police Department.” I figured if I kept mentioning the Police, he might notice, but he didn’t. He dutifully signed both receipts as paid.

I noticed that the inspection station was still unmanned, so I guessed that the offer of the ride to work and repair had expired when I fled the scene in my stolen car.

And that was it, I was apparently dismissed. Given Ozzie’s incredible professionalism and competence I’d witnessed at so far, I wasn’t confident that they would tell the police the matter was settled, and I really didn’t want to worry that I still might be a fugitive from justice.

I headed to our police station and spoke with one of the officers there. As always, the Foxboro Police were professional and helpful, and I know they’re just doing their jobs to drop off the note from Ozzies. They told me not to worry, that there was never a report of a stolen vehicle, that the printout was simply a query into the status of my vehicle. Just a routine thing. I gave the officer a copy of the receipt anyway, and will keep the other copy in my glove compartment to prove my innocence. But I was — as always — grateful for how terrific (and understanding) the Foxboro Police are.

But I suppose what puzzles me most is the people at Ozzies. They asked me to come back Monday. Hell, they offered to drive me to work. There was no one around to pay (perhaps the manager had taken the cell phone call in the back?). Sure, I stupidly thought I was supposed to pay Monday (having never failed an inspection before) but to call the police over $29, when they had a copy of my registration and told me to come back Monday? It all seems pretty aggressive. It seems pretty extreme. Hell, even I know that anything below $1500 is a small claims matter. To involve the police for $29 over a simple mistake from a repeat customer, Ozzie’s has lost a customer for life.

I worry that in a worst cast scenario I might have been pulled over and informed I was driving a stolen car. Far fetched? Maybe. Maybe not.

Anyway, my life of crime has changed me dramatically. The brakes have been fixed, my car now proudly displays an appropriate sticker, and I will be sure never to darken the door of Ozzies again.  And once again, I can hold my head up proudly, knowing that I have turned my life around and back on the path of truth, justice, and valid inspection stickers!

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

Related Posts via Categories

  • Play the TV News Snow Game! (Global Warming #alternativefacts means more snow!)
  • Fun with Facebook: Christmas 2015 edition!
  • Silver Age Superman Fun: STOP THE PRESSES! Somebody sent Superman… A LETTER!!!!!!!
  • Because you demanded it: Another Slow News Day (Summer 2014)
  • Fun with Facebook: Christmas 2010 edition!
  • What if “The Christmas Song” were written in 2010?
  • How was my vacation? It’s great to be home!
  • Facebook Fun: A Parody!
  • Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and yes, Virginia, he knows that the world is ending in 2012
  • Movie Reviews are easier than you think!
Spread the love
August 9, 2006 Robert Gillis 0

Post navigation

Review: Jimmy Buffett at the Tweeter Center Mansfield, August 11, 2006 → ← Celebrating Mom & Pop stores

My Professional Photography

Buy My Book!

Go to Nana Book website

Follow Me!

  • Facebook

RobertXGillis.com Categories (Drop Down Menu)!

Category Cloudy Thingy!

A must read Avoiding Fraud Backstreets Boston Bruce Springsteen Catholic / Church Christmas CNN image Computers / Tech Current Events / News Commentary Current News Story Parody and Humor Dorchester Foxboro Foxboro Founders Day Foxboro Jaycees Foxboro Jaycees Haunted House Foxboro Reporter Image Halloween Holidays - Other Humor Life events, Gratitude and Giving and Little Miracles Mass Shootings Memorials Movies Music My fiction (80s/90s) Nana Book NASA Image New Hampshire News image from Web New Year Not The Best Pets Politics Scanned From Newspaper Microfilm Seniors September 11, 2001 Slow News Day Humor Sports Star Trek Superman Superman and Friends - Comic Book Humor and Parody Television Uncategorized Web / Email / Internet / Social Media

Robert Gillis Site Archives From the 28 Known Galaxies

Weekly Popular!

  • A dream come true, meeting Joanna Cameron, star of… (43)
  • Memories of an Intensive Care Nursery at Saint… (14)
  • A loss too deep for words: Remembering Lorraine and… (9)
  • Grieving the Saint Kevin’s Property (9)
  • Silver Age Comics: Spanking your super kids, a great… (7)
  • Katy Perry’s “Firework:” A message every teen needs to hear (7)
  • Memo: Cost-cutting measures during these tough… (6)
  • Play the TV News Snow Game! (Global Warming… (6)
  • An interview with Joanna Levesque, aka “JoJo” (6)
  • 1997 – Keep the Patriots in Foxboro —… (4)
  • Retro-Review “A Christmas Carol” (1951) (4)
  • Silver Age Comic Books: Superman stops the… (3)
  • An historical quest fulfilled: Finding the Willey… (3)
  • Humor: The missing William Shatner scene in J.J.… (3)
  • More Silver-Age Lois Lane comic book madness! (3)
  • The Church still stands: Remembering the promise of… (3)
  • Almost completed: The WMJX 106.7 “Magic of… (2)
  • The Weakest Link (2)
  • More Lucy Lane and Lois Lane Silver-Age Comics Sillyness! (2)
  • In loving memory of Father John Joseph Kierce (2)
  • What was the Silver Age of comic books? Superman,… (2)
  • Memories of Halloween (2)
  • You can go home again; my visit to Dorchester and… (2)
  • Eileen Gustin and the Advent Wreath (2)
  • The customer, most assuredly, is NOT always right: A… (2)
  • Popular posts by Top 10 plugin

Most Popular On This Site!

  • A dream come true, meeting Joanna Cameron, star of… (16,732)
  • An interview with Joanna Levesque, aka “JoJo” (6,153)
  • A letter to Mom on Christmas Day (3,655)
  • Memo: Cost-cutting measures during these tough… (3,300)
  • Silver Age Comics: Spanking your super kids, a great… (2,724)
  • Memories of an Intensive Care Nursery at Saint… (2,329)
  • Thoughts on visiting seven churches on Holy Thursday (1,716)
  • Father Steve Madden leaving Saint Mary’s… (1,624)
  • Grieving the Saint Kevin’s Property (1,535)
  • The National Shrine of Our Lady of La Salette in… (1,513)
  • The customer, most assuredly, is NOT always right: A… (1,397)
  • More Lucy Lane and Lois Lane Silver-Age Comics Sillyness! (1,213)
  • Katy Perry’s “Firework:” A message every teen needs to hear (1,043)
  • Silver-Age Comics fun: Going to the chapel, and… (1,042)
  • What was the Silver Age of comic books? Superman,… (1,036)
  • Popular posts by Top 10 plugin

Copyright and Legal

All site content copyright © 2020 by Robert Gillis except where specifically noted. All rights reserved. THIS IS A PERSONAL WEBLOG (“BLOG”). THE OPINIONS AND COMMENTARY EXPRESSED HERE REPRESENT MY OWN AND ARE NOT THOSE OF MY EMPLOYERS (PAST, PRESENT NOR FUTURE).

About images:

I do my best to use my own photos to illustrate a post (and copyright to all my images remains with me), but sometimes I need to use an image from, say, a sports logo, a TV show or movie, or something I could not possibly get on my own, for example, an image of the international space station. I always credit the original owner (if they can be determined) but in ALL cases, whether credited or not, any images I didn’t photograph myself remain the property of the original copyright holders. This site does not imply any ownership of such images or materials, and such images are used here for commentary / illustrative / entertainment purposes only, under what is believed to be fair use guidelines, and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended.

Powered by WordPress | theme SG Double