This panel is from a 1960s story called, “The Great DC Contest” and up to this point in the narrative the Bizzaro-Supermen have been rampaging across the world, destroying historical landmarks and causing a big mess. So where’s Superman?

Um, stopping a little boy from LITTERING.

Yeah.

Y’know in the movie when Martha Kent says to Clark, “Your father always said you were put here for a reason?”

This ain’t it.

Some thoughts on this panel.

• Does anyone call anyone “Sonny” anymore?
• This is perfect example of why people think Superman is a total dipshit.
• “Retrieve that wrapper!” Even the command sounds stupid.
• “…Or you’ll be known as a litterbug!” Believe me, there are far worse things to be known as than “litterbug.” How about, “serial killer,” or “psychopath,” “arsonist,” or “most likely to go on killing spree?” There are probably thousands of things worse than being known as a litterbug.
• Does anyone say “Litterbug” anymore?
• This is the official beginning of the “go green” movement in comics, and Superman was the first to acknowledge the primary cause of global warming — little kids throwing candy wrappers on the ground.
• “Keep our streets neat!” Um Superman, they aren’t your streets, you don’t pay taxes. And the kid doesn’t either.

Finally, I’d pay real money if the kid said things like this:

• Hey, shouldn’t you be stopping the Bizzaros from trashing the planet?
• Good work, Superman! Thanks for stopping my life of crime!
• Isn’t there a super-villian you should be battling right now?
• Sonny? Who are you calling Sonny, dipshit?
• Congratulations, Superman. This is definitely why Jor-El sent you to Earth!
• I’ll put the candy wrapper in the trash after you rebuild half the city you demolished battling Brainiac!

But let’s face it, these days the kid would just give Superman the finger.

Here’s another Superman panel that is disturbing on many, many levels:

There’s so much wrong here that it’s difficult to know where to start.

• Why is Jimmy wearing a Superman costume?
• Why is Jimmy sleeping in a Superman costume?
• Why is Superman in Jimmy’s apartment when Jimmy is sleeping?
• Why does Jimmy keep HEAVY ROPE among his Superman souvenirs?
• Even the way Jimmy is posed is creepy.
• I just can’t think of any GOOD reason Superman would want to do this.
• Superman: “Now’s my chance!” Ew.
• Oh, and this one time, at Superman camp…
• Superman: “Say my name!” Jimmy: “Kal-El! Kal-El! Oh, God help me!”
• Marlon Brando Jor-El: “It is forbidden! Forbidden!”
• The REAL reason the character of Jimmy Olsen left the Smallville show.
• No means no, Superman!