My idea for a “Hogan’s Heroes” Christmas episode

By Robert Gillis, 12/2023


Intro: Since I was a little kid, I have loved the TV show “Hogan’s Heroes” and been a huge fan of the late Bob Crane. To this day decades later the show remains well-written, extremely funny, well-acted, and always worth a re-watch (or 10).

While Hogan’s Heroes never had a proper series finale (they didn’t do series finales in the 60s) there have plenty of them in fan fiction, and I always considered “Endgame” by Patty and Marg to be the true finale.

Likewise, Hogan’s Heroes never had a proper Christmas episode (although in the episode “The Prisoner’s Prisoner” Shultz appears as Santa Claus as part of an elaborate ruse by the heroes to get important intel from a German General)Likewise, Hogan’s

Anyway, fan fiction stories abound for a Hogan’s Heroes set at Christmas time, and I came up with this – in my head-canon anyway, this is what I wrote for a Hogan’s Heroes Christmas episode. Enjoy.

Episode Title: “Christmas Eve”

The episode opens with snow falling on the camp. It’s Christmas Eve, and everyone in camp is really sad because it’s Christmas time and they are not at home.

Over the past few days, it is established that a a blizzard has hit the area so London has told the heroes to suspend the sabotage and rescue operations until after New Years for safety reasons — so basically the guys have nothing to do.

Colonel Klink and Sergeant Schultz are also feeling very down because due to the storm as there is no way for them to get home to their families for Christmas.

To boost morale, and because he feels a little melancholy as well, Colonel Hogan comes up with the idea to have a Christmas party and invite the Germans. Hogan goes to Klink and asks for some food supplies for Corporal LeBeau to make some cider and strudel and other treats.

Klink is suspicious of Hogan’s motives but Colonel Hogan gives Colonel Klink his word there will be no escape attempt, after all the snow outside the camp is pretty deep and no one would get very far anyway. Hogan even goes as far to ask if the guards might come down from the tower in join in the festivities –an evening cease-fire, if you will.

Klink protests but gives in; with the heavy snow everywhere, they are effectively all staying-put. Klink tells Hogan request granted and dismisses Hogan, to give his mother a call.

That evening, on Christmas Eve, the Germans and POWs are milling around the compound and it’s snowing very gently. Guys are warming themselves at the fire barrels and the conversations are a bit more upbeat than earlier. You can hear the guys talking about the holidays they remember back home. Sargent Shultz talks about missing his Shotzee Toy Company and the joy his toys bring to children and he hopes he can go back to making toys after the war.

LeBeau and the heroes hand out cider and strudel and other treats. No hidden agenda, no plans or plotting. It’s a quiet, snowy evening. No way to keep candles lit, but Carter and Newkirk and Kinch put together a little Christmas tree and decorate it with trinkets.

The heroes begin to sing Silent Night, and Colonel Klink, Sergeant Schultz, and the other guards join in singing the Carol in the original German, “Stille Nacht, heilige Nach”.

Colonel Klink tells Hogan a bit about the origins of that song, composed in Austria in 1818.

As the party breaks up, Colonel Klink asks Colonel Hogan to see him for a moment, and he thanks him for the idea of the party and confides he has been thinking more and more that war is so terrible and this idea lifted his spirits a little bit.

Surprisingly, Colonel Klink adds to Hogan that his Christmas wish is that a year from now the war is ended and they are all well and at home with their families.

Colonel Hogan smiles genuinely, and says to Colonel Klink that he wishes the same thing and he wishes Colonel Klink a Merry Christmas. Hogan salutes Klink who returns the salute and says, “Good night.”

The heroes walk back to the barracks gently as Colonel Klink, Shultz and the guards return to their duties, the snow continues to fall as we fade out. The barracks door closes.

Before the end credits, a simple card reads, “Merry Christmas And Peace On Earth”

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