{"id":124,"date":"1986-01-01T11:49:00","date_gmt":"1986-01-01T16:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/?p=124"},"modified":"2024-03-31T14:26:26","modified_gmt":"2024-03-31T19:26:26","slug":"star-trek-corel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/?p=124","title":{"rendered":"Star Trek: Corel"},"content":{"rendered":"

STAR TREK: COREL
\nby Robert Gillis (1996)<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>“STAR TREK” is a registered trademark of and \u00a9 CBS (or Paramount Pictures, a division of Viacom Corp). This story is fan fiction and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended by anything on these pages.<\/p>\n

INTRODUCTION. <\/strong>Sometime in 1992, my best friend, David, moved to New Jersey to get married. As one way for us to stay in touch, I conceived a Star Trek story called \u201cBeyond the Warp Barrier\u201d \u2013 I\u2019d write one chapter, he\u2019d write the next, and so on.<\/em><\/p>\n

This was BEFORE email, so I actually MAILED a chapter to David and he would MAIL me a chapter back. Eventually I scanned in what we had and we went back and forth on it for a year. The story grew massive; it was over 100 typed pages long before the final two chapters were written.<\/em><\/p>\n

The story then remained unfinished, in stasis, for over two years. In 1995, I decided it needed a proper ending. I talked with David during a visit to Jersey and we agreed certain elements should be present, and he came up with the idea of \u201cWar Hammer\u201d and a heavier Starfleet Marine presence. Having just seen the movie, \u201cCrimson Tide,\u201d I said I wanted to echo that movie\u2019s scenes of highlighting the different command styles of two very different officers. A lot of that comes into place once we are aboard \u201cWar Hammer.\u201d I even stole the \u201cWe\u2019re here to preserve democracy, not practice it\u201d line. Of course, in that movie, Gene Hackman and Denzel Washington are not lifelong friends, but the dynamic was perfect for what I had in mind.<\/em><\/p>\n

As I wrote the final two chapters. I tried not only to properly finish what had become an epic adventure, but endeavor to summarize a 15 year friendship as it reached a turning point. For the first time since high school, David was no longer a quick trip to Boston away, and discussions of politics, girls, life, Trek, comic books, and all we had shared for 15 years would now be relegated to occasional visits and phone calls (and later, email).<\/em><\/p>\n

Rather than publish the entire 150+ page tome here, I have elected to show just the final two chapters I wrote. They capture the essence of the friendship I shared with David.<\/em><\/p>\n

It was never the plan to write this as a straightforward Trek story, but more of a Trek story where bizarre, Douglas Adams\/Police Squad moments sometimes occur \u2013 usually without anyone noticing. That\u2019s also why things sometimes explode for no reason or someone makes a bizarre cameo. That\u2019s why some of the Enterprise crew, like Drebin, are decidedly, ummm\u2026 dysfunctional. That\u2019s what made it fun. It keeps things from getting TOO serious and throws the reader off guard. And it\u2019s damned funny.<\/em><\/p>\n

There are roughly nine bazillion in-jokes and pop-culture references in this one; you will no doubt recognize many of them. For example, the planet Corel\u2014oddly\u2014has a lot of place names identical to Earth. Kyle, the Teenage Bobby, had his genesis in the \u201cDeath of Superman\u201d DC comics series (\u201cDon\u2019t\u2019 call me Superboy\u201d \/ \u201cDon\u2019t call me Bobby\u201d). Grand Kadooment Day is a real holiday in Barbados. And so on. Oh\u2014double points if you \u201cget\u201d the name of Corel\u2019s leader.<\/em><\/p>\n

THE STORY SO FAR: <\/strong>The year is 2293, shortly after the events of Star Trek VI and before the launch of the Enterprise-B in Star Trek: Generations. After decades of adventures and saving the universe on a regular basis, time-traveling Starfleet captains Robert Gillis and David McEntire are in command of the constitution class starship USS Enterprise NCC-1701-A, its decommissioning temporarily delayed for warp drive tests, on one last joyride before retiring their Starfleet commissions and returning for good to their homes and wives in the 20th century\u2026<\/p>\n

Along the way, the crew has weathered a chapter-spanning debate on which of the two captains should rightfully command the Enterprise, to an accident that propels the ship \u201cBeyond the Warp Barrier\u201d into unknown space, to David\u2019s bachelor party in a far corner of the galaxy, to a state of war with the Romulans, to the ferreting out of a media spy by McEntire and Monica, to a holographic Roman Empire gone awry on the amusement planet \u201cWallyworld,\u201d to battles with the oblivious Starfleet Commander H. Ross Perot (continuing the grand Star Trek tradition of clueless Admirals and smart Captains).<\/p>\n

Finally, the adventure led our heroes to the planet Corel, the fourth of eight worlds orbiting the star Dovum. A lush, beautiful planet populated by intelligent humanoids, Corel has become a diplomatic hotspot, a planet petitioning for Federation membership but on the brink of civil war. Corel\u2019s chief export is its extraordinary spring water, reputed to possess healing powers as well as other enjoyable side effects.<\/p>\n

Corellian rebels kidnapped Gillis and placed him on trial in a ruse to discredit Starfleet and assist a terrorist faction in taking over the legitimate planetary government on Corel. With McEntire defending him, Gillis was exonerated of all charges, and the duo assisted in the capture of the Corellian rebel Auda.<\/p>\n

As the final part of the story begins, Gillis has received an invitation back to Corel by its leader as an overture of peace.<\/p>\n

THE PLAYERS:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Captain Robert J. Gillis: Temporarily in command of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701-A before its decommissioning. After years of adventures, he has invited McEntire for \u201cone last joyride\u201d and a final mission before they retire from Starfleet. His portrayal is how I see myself (usually).<\/p>\n

Captain David McEntire: Supreme Commander of the Starfleet Marines, Starfleet legend, Gillis\u2019 best friend of many decades, also visiting from the 20th century; recently married and eager to retire and return to life in 20th century New Jersey. His portrayal is exactly how I perceive David.<\/p>\n

Captain Montgomery \u201cScotty\u201d Scott. The legendary engineer of Star Trek fame and the only \u201creal\u201d Enterprise crew member used here; Scotty has retired and is about to attend the christening of the Enterprise-B when McEntire asks for his help. Rest in peace, Jimmy Doohan. You were a gem.<\/p>\n

Commander John Black: Black has been McEntire\u2019s second in command of the Starfleet Marines for over a decade. Gillis does not know this and believes him only to be the Chief Engineer. He is the only person besides Gillis that McEntire trusts with his life.<\/p>\n

Lieutenant Yeldarb: Helmsman \/ Weapons. A Tamarian, a race first introduced in the ST: TNG episode \u201cDarmok.\u201d Tamarians speak entirely by metaphor, referencing mythological and historical people and events from their culture. The problem with communicating in this manner is without knowing the meaning of the reference, there is no way to understand the metaphor. It\u2019s also hilarious.<\/p>\n

Lieutenant Seaborne: Ship\u2019s navigator. We don\u2019t much else about her.<\/p>\n

Lieutenant Commander Frank Drebin: Security Chief. One of Gillis\u2019 more questionable crew choices, Drebin doesn\u2019t seem to have a clue about anything and one wonders how he ever made it through Starfleet.<\/p>\n

Admiral H. Ross Perot: The Commander of Starfleet: A direct descendant of the presidential candidate of 1990s and EXACTLY like him.<\/p>\n

Monica: The mysterious former bartender aboard the Enterprise, but actually a secret agent, working for years for McEntire.<\/p>\n

Kyle: A duplicate of Captain Gillis created by a transporter accident in 1981, Kyle relocated to the 23rd century shortly after his creation and his existence was unknown until now. He ages very slowly and still appears about 17 years old, but is very different than Gillis was at that age.<\/p>\n

Leader Aar-cu\u2019rY: The rightfully elected democratic president of the planet Corel. A good man, an excellent leader, in the penultimate year of his term.<\/p>\n

Auda: The second in command of the terrorist movement to overthrow Core\u2019s legitimate government. His plans have been previously thwarted by McEntire and Gillis, and he was arrested at Gillis\u2019 trial after a foiled assassination attempt.<\/p>\n

Chand\u2019Leros: Third in command of the terrorist movement to overthrow Corel\u2019s legitimate government.<\/p>\n

Donny Osmond: Yes, THE Donny Osmond. Since high school, David and I had this silly joke that Donny Osmond was constantly thwarting David\u2019s plans to take over the Earth. When it came time to find the evil mastermind behind all of Corel\u2019s troubles, well naturally, it HAD to be Donny Osmond.<\/p>\n

GOT ALL THAT????!!!<\/p>\n

IF NOT, then in the words of Austin Powers’ boss, Basil Exposition: “I suggest you don’t worry about those things and just enjoy yourself.”<\/p>\n

\n

STAR TREK: COREL
\nBY ROBERT GILLIS
\nWRITTEN 1993-1996<\/strong><\/p>\n

For David\u2026 It was\u2026 fun\u2026 Oh, my!<\/p>\n

STARFLEET COMMAND
\nSAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA
\nPLANET EARTH
\nTHE LATE 23RD CENTURY
\nSTARDATE: 9679.4<\/strong><\/p>\n

In Starfleet\u2019s main conference room, a young lieutenant pounded a large iron mallet on the highly polished glass table. \u201cThis briefing is classified. Ladies, gentleman, and miscellaneous…\u201d (a nod to the recent repeal of the ban against gays in the Starfleet) \u201c…the C & C.\u201d Everyone in the room rose as a cacophony of trumpets introduced the Commander of Starfleet.<\/p>\n

Admiral H. Ross Perot whooshed into room and stepped to his podium. \u201cMorning, folks, I\u2019ll get right to the point, because that\u2019s the type of man I am. No-nonsense. Direct. To the point. On the straight and narrow. No fluff and no filler. Just the meat and potatoes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdmiral…\u201d an aide interrupted politely.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, right.\u201d Perot began setting up some charts. \u201cNow, what in the Sam hill is the deal with these dang \u201cstardates?\u201d We\u2019re fast approaching stardate 10000, and it isn\u2019t even New Years. I see people running around saying we should have a celebration. Doesn\u2019t make sense. These \u201cstardates\u201d don\u2019t seem to correspond to any real month or year, not even…\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

USS ENTERPRISE
\nNCC-1701-A
\nTHE LATE 23RD CENTURY
\nSTARDATE: 9679.9<\/strong><\/p>\n

Captain Robert J. Gillis, the beloved Starfleet officer and author of \u201cCoca Cola: It isn\u2019t just for breakfast anymore!\u201d stepped onto the bridge with his relief crew. The duty officer, a fresh-faced 19 year old cadet, began, \u201cGood morning, Captain. All systems functioning normally, except transporter room four, which is down for routine maintenance, and we are scheduled to rendezvous with starship Excalibur in 21 hours for supply drop-off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Ensign. I relieve you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI stand relieved, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis took the command chair and placed his cup of cappuccino next to it. \u201cBegin day watch.\u201d The lights came up to full intensity as Yeldarb, Drebin, Seaborn and other crew members replaced their night-shift counterparts.<\/p>\n

Yeldarb, a Tamarian, took the seat that the night Helmsmen, Lefler, vacated. \u201cGreat moons of Krypton! Solomon Grundy is stealing my cape! But why?\u201d Yeldarb chirped happily.<\/p>\n

Lefler responded, \u201cThe amazing Beastra, her large\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me, Mr. Lefler,\u201d Gillis said, \u201cbut haven\u2019t we chatted about this issue?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry Captain. I just find the Tamarian language fascinating, and I\u2019m learning it rapidly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Lefler, just last week you inadvertently insulted all of Lieutenant Yeldarb\u2019s male relatives going back two thousand generations, and yesterday you unknowingly challenged him to rip your heart out of your chest, cover it with Spam and shove it up your nose.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Lefler, God knows I like to promote universal harmony and all that, but please master the Tamarian language before you communicate. Your good intentions might tell Yeldarb to fire an antimatter spread at a starbase or something.\u201d To Yeldarb\u2019s hurt look, he explained, \u201cI wasn\u2019t insulting you, Yeldarb. I just feel Lefler should have a better command of your language before he converses with you in it. Okey-dokey?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye, sir,\u201d Lefler said agreeably.<\/p>\n

\u201cMickey Mouse on Tapioca Mountain,\u201d Yeldarb added.<\/p>\n

Gillis sighed. Yeldarb made about as much sense as a football bat.<\/p>\n

Drebin began, \u201cCaptain, we are receiving a code-B message for you. Point of transmission is the planet Corel.\u201d<\/p>\n

The MASTER SITUATION screen displayed the words \u201cUh-oh\u201d but remained silent.<\/p>\n

Gillis raised an eyebrow. \u201cI see. Pipe it through to my ready room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, sir? You don\u2019t have a ready room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s right. Pipe it to my quarters.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Thirty minutes later, Gillis entered the quarters of his first officer (for now) and best friend (always), Captain David McEntire, who was busily working up a sweat on a sparkling new Soloflex machine.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood morning, Mon Ami!\u201d McEntire said cheerfully. \u201cCome to see what a real athlete looks like?\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis smiled. \u201cI just had a very interesting phone call. Aar-cu\u2019rY, supreme leader of the planet Corel, has invited me to a state dinner on the island of Abu-Taya. Aar-cu\u2019rY says Corel has no hard feelings over the trial and this is a show of good faith, a way to foster amenity, and bring peace and brotherhood to the galaxy and all that.\u201d<\/p>\n

A look of concern crossed McEntire\u2019s face. He jumped off the exercise machine and grabbed a towel and bottle of vitamin complex. Retrieving a Coca-Cola from the food selector, he offered it to Gillis and said, \u201cThey\u2019re inviting you back after the trial and that entire fiasco? I don\u2019t know, Bobby. The Corellians don\u2019t exactly like you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFeeling\u2019s mutual, but this means more than just that. If I go, it could be a step toward getting Corel into the Federation. History will say I was a hell of a guy for doing it.\u201d He finished the Coca-Cola and ordered another.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a better man than I, my friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis finished the Coca-Cola and ordered another. \u201cDavid, you usually say that when you think I\u2019m about to do something really stupid, but you don\u2019t want to hurt my feelings. Is that the case here?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded. \u201cExactly. You don\u2019t belong on Corel anymore than I belong…\u201d He thought for a moment. \u201cThen again, the entire galaxy loves me. Sorry, bad metaphor. Anyway, did you talk to Starfleet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh huh. Perot said the decision is mine.\u201d Gillis sat on the Soloflex machine, set the weight setting to *much* heavier than what McEntire had been bench-pressing, and easily counted off thirty reps.<\/p>\n

McEntire tossed the towel into a recycler. \u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve decided to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

THREE DAYS LATER
\nUNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS
\nOFFICIAL STARFLEET NEWS BROADCAST<\/strong><\/p>\n

Captain Robert J. Gillis, the beloved Starfleet officer and author of \u201cCoca Cola: It isn\u2019t just for breakfast anymore!\u201d was apparently killed today by a band of terrorists on the planet Corel. Gillis\u2019 shuttle, the Lorrah, was struck by a Corellian purple death ray and blasted from the skies over Corel. The ship disintegrated on impact with the Kalellian sea, six hundred kilometers northwest of Kancamagus. Aar-cu\u2019rY, the leader of Corel, had invited Gillis to Corel for a state dinner as a gesture of peace, after Gillis\u2019 exoneration in what many have called a \u201cshow trial\u201d to embarrass Starfleet and weaken planetary support for Corellian membership in the Federation. An outlaw group calling themselves the \u201cBob-be-gones\u201d fired on and apparently killed Gillis this morning. The wreckage spans fifty kilometers and no body has been found. A full investigation is underway, and Leader Aar-cu\u2019rY assured the Federation the \u201cBob-be-gones\u201d will be found and tried for this heinous crime…<\/p>\n

\n

TWO WEEKS LATER
\nBREAKERS POINT, BARBADOS
\nPLANET COREL<\/strong><\/p>\n

Captain David McEntire made his way up the coast to the beautiful cottage he owned on Breakers Point. Years before, when he\u2019d learned Corel had an island called Barbados, he had to see it. The island, named for an ancient Corellian expression meaning \u201clittle bay,\u201d was as beautiful as its Terran counterpart. Blue-green waves crashed against the sandy-brown reefs in thunderous blasts of fury. Violet-colored gin blossoms were in bloom everywhere. A myriad of exotic fish swam inches below the surface of the blue lagoon, and the Zephyr winds that blew on high kept the temperature very comfortable year-round.<\/p>\n

McEntire had been so impressed he purchased the land immediately, and had a cozy home built there. He and Bobby had gone scuba diving off the local reef and stayed there with the McEntire family years before, and it was here that he and Diana spent a very romantic shore leave.<\/p>\n

For the past several hours, McEntire had been gathering the last of his possessions. He\u2019d ordered the properly sold, and planned to use the profits in Bobby\u2019s name to do some good in the universe. He could never bear to return to this planet. It has cost him the life of his best friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cPersonal log, supplemental: After two weeks, the search for Captain Gillis has been abandoned. No trace of his body has been found. Four Starfleet vessels\u2014the Intrepid, Asimov, Meyer, and the Enterprise\u2014are in orbit, but our investigation have been repeatedly thwarted by the Corellians. They have only allowed skeleton crews of Starfleet officers and Marines to beam down, fearing that their presence might ignite an already volatile situation, and our ship scans haven\u2019t been able to locate much of the shuttle wreckage or the missing flight recorder. Bobby\u2019s death has devastated not only the Enterprise but the entire Federation.\u201d<\/p>\n

He placed another box of books into a crate and carried them to the beam coordinates.<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire spun toward the familiar voice. Despite his grief, he broke into a warm smile. \u201cScotty!\u201d<\/p>\n

Captain Montgomery Scott, the former chief engineer of the starship Enterprise extended his hand. \u201cAye, David. How are yea, lad?\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been much, much better, Scotty. I\u2019ve lost my best friend and the Federation has lost one of its most celebrated ambassadors.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty looked sad. \u201cAye, he was a jewel of a lad. Y\u2019know, because of Gillis\u2019 death, morale throughout known space is at an all-time low. Message of condolence are pouring in from all corners of the galaxy, from Romulus to Qo\u2019noS and the bottle city of Kandor.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded. \u201cEven the Borg sent a cryptic message that read, \u2018Gillis was relevant.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a lengthy silence as both men fell into thought about their love for their remarkable friend, then McEntire asked, \u201cWhat are you doing on Corel, Scotty?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I\u2019d spend my retirement sailing the seas of this world, but after what happened to our friend, I canna stay here. I arranged to have my boat shipped to the Norpin V Colony. I\u2019ll be attending the dedication ceremony for the Enterprise-B, and then I sail inta retirement.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire shook the hand of his old friend. \u2018Then we have some time.\u201d He paused as his communicator bleeped. \u201cMcEntire here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain,\u201d Drebin began, \u201cthe Intrepid, Meyer, and Asimov have left orbit. You asked to be informed when that happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Mr. Drebin. We\u2019re about ready here.\u201d He turned to Scott. \u201cComing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Scott broke into a huge smile. \u201cI\u2019d be grateful if ye\u2019d get me off this bloody hellhole.\u201d<\/p>\n

David placed the last duffel bag on the grass and took a final look around. \u201cWith pleasure, sir.\u201d He flipped open his communicator. \u201cEnterprise, two to beam up. Prepare our best quarters for a very special guest.\u201d<\/p>\n

In a flash, the transporter beam took them.<\/p>\n

\n

USS ENTERPRISE
\nNCC-1701-A<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the main conference room, McEntire had just completed the mission briefing, and introduced Scott to the rest of the crew.<\/p>\n

Commander John Black looked at McEntire. \u201cCaptain, it\u2019s not often one gets to work with a living legend. I was wondering if Captain Scott might upgrade his status to active while he is here. We\u2019d all like the opportunity to work with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty smiled, somewhat bashfully. \u201cUh happily volunteer to help out in any way ah can.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire leaned forward in his chair. \u201cExcellent, excellent.\u201d He cleared his throat. \u201cAs for the memorial service, I\u2019m not holding one until I\u2019m sure Captain Gillis is really dead. That is all.\u201d<\/p>\n

The meeting adjourned, the command crew dispersed, and McEntire took a turbolift to deck five. The doors to his quarters swished shut heavily, and the facade of calm composure and command leadership dropped from the face of Captain David McEntire.<\/p>\n

David knew that he owed it Bobby to him to find out the truth. He would return to Corel and find the body and return it for a proper Starfleet burial. He owed it to Bobby, to Susan, and yes, even to the damn dogs.<\/p>\n

There were many unanswered questions on that planet, and if he had to lead a squadron of his best Marines to level Corel to find the answers, so much the better.<\/p>\n

\u201cComputer, audio playback, Bruce Springsteen\u2019s Nebraska. Play it all. Twice.\u201d He walked to a cabinet and took out his best wine, a bottle of vintage Chateau Picard. He drank a toast to Bobby, and then another. He got very, very drunk, cried, and fell asleep.<\/p>\n

\n

The pathetic, ragged excuse for a man looked old. Older than dirt. His mangy, stringy and filthy hair fell around his shoulders and his back was burned with the fiery brand of toiling under the Dovum star. He could barely walk upright anymore, and every muscle in his body had been overworked to the point of destruction. The battered remains of a Starfleet captain\u2019s uniform hung over him, the only link to his past, but he\u2019d long since forgotten that previous life.<\/p>\n

As he had done countless times, the bearded, pathetic creature heaved a gigantic chunk of Corellian proto-chocolate, mined from the chocolate mines of A\u2019Riel, placed it on a marble slab, and methodically began crushing it with a heavy sledge hammer. In a few hours, the powdery residue that remained would be loaded by other prisoners for shipment to the gourmet chocolate factories in Corel\u2019s capital city. By that time, he would have already begun the process anew, heaving another heavy chunk of chocolate onto the pallet. At dusk, eighteen hours after his toil began, he would be allowed back to his cell to sleep. He\u2019d known no other life for a very long time.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, a loud noise rocked the air overhead and people were screaming. In the distance, there was an explosion. A sign bearing the words, \u201cGreasy Lake Rehabilitation Colony\u201d exploded past him into flaming splinters.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain Gillis!\u201d<\/p>\n

Captain David McEntire recoiled in horror at his friend\u2019s appearance. \u201cBobby! It\u2019s me! It\u2019s David!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s very kind of you. I would like waffles very much,\u201d Gillis replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cBobby, don\u2019t you know me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute,\u201d Gillis said weakly. He took a huge wad of cotton out of his left ear that actually made a thud as he dropped it to the ground and took an old-fashioned hearing aid tube out of his pocket. \u201cSpeak into here, sonny.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBobby, it\u2019s David!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRaven?\u201d Gillis asked. \u201cThere are no ravens on Corel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid McEntire! Captain of the Enterprise! Your best friend!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDay-vid?\u201d Gillis asked weakly. \u201cDay-vid?\u201d His eyes suddenly opened wide with recognition and he screamed, cupped his ears and fell to the ground, sobbing. \u201cAarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhh! Day-vid! You left me here… For years… How could you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire shook his head. \u201cWhat\u2019s happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

But the haggard man, who looked over one hundred years old, tried to get up and crumbled back to the ground, sputtering, \u201cDoomsday… Is he… Is he…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBobby, I\u2019ll take you back to the Enterprise! We can save you!\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis\u2019 eyes filled with tears. \u201cThe ship… out of danger?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBobby, I…\u201d<\/p>\n

A small trickle of blood escaped from Gillis\u2019 mouth. \u201cIt was…\u201d He gasped. \u201c…Fun… Oh, my…\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis died in his arms, and once again McEntire woke up shaking from the nightmare.<\/p>\n

\n

In shuttle bay one, crewman Luca leapt out of the way just as a searing beam of heat vaporized the drive component he\u2019d been working on.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d Luca shouted. \u201cWho\u2019s the\u2014\u201d His mouth dropped as he watched a bat-like figure swoop from the high ceiling and alight next to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlasphemer!\u201d the \u201cavenging angel\u201d (as he would later be described) shouted, eyes blazing. Surrounded by a halo of red light, the apparition\u2019s eyes were concealed behind sunglasses, and he was dressed in a form fitting black spandex and rubber bodysuit nearly identical to the one in the Batman movies from the 20th century that Luca, of course, knew nothing about.<\/p>\n

Who the hell are you?\u201d Luca yelped, scrambling to escape. He slammed into a corner and fell to the deck. Whimpering, he cried out, \u201cCaptain Gillis? But you\u2019re dead!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDeath can be very liberating.\u201d There wasn\u2019t a trace of compassion from the tall, muscular man. \u201cBlasphemer! I eradicated your unholy icon!\u201d<\/p>\n

In a brilliant flash, the angel was gone. Catching his breath, Luca attempted to compose himself, failed, and finally made his way to a wall panel and snapped the comm button.<\/p>\n

\u201cIntruder alert,\u201d he announced. In the distance, he could swear he heard laughter.<\/p>\n

\n

Nursing the worst hangover of his entire life, McEntire stared at the view screen.<\/p>\n

\u201cAdmiral, with all respect, you haven\u2019t addressed my request.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Starfleet Commander smiled. \u201cNow, David, we all loved Captain Bobby but I can\u2019t let you run loose on Corel. The people have chosen me to be Starfleet Commander, and I take that very seriously. I\u2019m here to serve.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAdmiral, we need to talk about Corel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Corellian PO-lice have the situation under\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Corellian authorities are brainless fools,\u201d McEntire replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd those fools as you call them have made it very clear that Federation help is neither requested nor required.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe Captain Gillis may still be alive on Corel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you saying they stole Captain Bobby? Jeez-Louise, the times we live in. Everything\u2019s stolen these days. Why, the fax machine is nothing more than a waffle iron with a phone attached! I tell you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

How can he be deaf with ears like that? \u201cAdmiral…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid, you\u2019re not going to Corel to conduct your own investigation. That\u2019s the problem with this Federation, David. Lobbyists! Too many people running around with their own agenda and ideas, and no one\u2019s talking to each other. Lookie here\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Admiral, please repeat that last statement, we\u2019re losing communications.\u201d<\/p>\n

With a grand gesture, McEntire shattered his communications console with a solid kick, then flipped open his communicator. \u201cMr. Drebin, I want radio silence until further notice. I don\u2019t care who\u2019s calling. No response and no marker beacon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGosh, sir! That will be like pretending our communications system doesn\u2019t work!\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire sighed heavily. \u201cMy chief of security. God in Heaven.\u201d Slowly, he changed into off-duty clothes\u2014a simple navy tunic and black slacks\u2014and headed for engineering. Sure enough, he found Scotty, explaining the principles behind the cloaking device of a Klingon bird of prey to a captive audience.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is data we downloaded from the bird of prey after it was recovered from San Francisco Bay. Since Klingons don\u2019t defect, we\u2019ll take whut we can get. Now, then, ye can see by the design of the\u2014Oh, Captain McEntire!\u201d<\/p>\n

The training crew jumped to attention, but McEntire waved his hand tiredly. \u201cAs you were. Captain Scott, there\u2019s a situation on deck five that requires our attention.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty nodded and shut off the display screen. \u201cSorry, lads, duty calls. We\u2019ll talk more later. Dismissed.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the crew dispersed, McEntire couldn\u2019t stop a smile. \u201cScotty, they were enthralled. You could have a profitable career in lecturing!\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty made a hmmpf noise and dismissed that. \u201cUm just an old man who\u2019s seen a lot of the galaxy\u2019s wonders, David. So, what\u2019s this problem?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cScotty, I\u2014\u201d He gestured for him to follow him into a turbolift. \u201cBridge,\u201d he said as the doors shut, then added, \u201cHalt.\u201d As the lift stopped, he continued, \u201cI need to go back to Corel to find out what\u2019s happened. You must understand, this is against direct orders.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou think Gillis is alive?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not really. Well, maybe. But I can\u2019t dismiss the feelings that the Corellians know more than they\u2019re letting on. Also, we should find his body and return it to Earth.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty\u2019s said softly, \u201cDavid, the Corellians dinna find anything, and a Federation watch post monitored the shuttle being hit. You\u2019ve no proof, no idea where to look, and you\u2019ve been forbidden to conduct this investigation. All you\u2019re working on is a feeling that something is amiss. Do I have it all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded. \u201cYes, that\u2019s it, Scotty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen uv just one question. How can I help?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

In the ship\u2019s arboretum, ensign Cindy Allenby gave her companion another kiss. \u201cThat was amazing, lover.\u201d She snuggled closer to him and added, \u201cYou never looked like this at 17 before. No polyester this time around, muscles to die for, and the earring gives you character.\u201d<\/p>\n

The young man shrugged. \u201cIt\u2019s not easy being me, babe. Hell of a legacy to live up to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me more about yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled happily. \u201cI am merely a humble repairman of hearts as we cruise the highway of life; I am the MacGyver of souls that sit along the dark, lonely roads, trying to repair them enough to find their way to the Sunoco of love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that a poem, Bobby?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d the young man snapped. \u201cDon\u2019t call me Bobby!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cLet me get these so-called facts straight,\u201d MacDonald said, leaning back in his chair. Behind him, the stars shot past the observation windows in spectacular streaks of light. \u201cThere have been six sightings of an \u2018avenging angel\u2019, speaking in Captain Gillis\u2019 voice, putting terror in the hearts of my crew. In other news, a teen-ager who is identical in appearance to our beloved Captain Gillis is strolling through the ship, seducing female crew members, affixing Brooke Shields posters to the walls and in general making a nuisance of himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s about it, Captain,\u201d Black said.<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded slowly. \u201cThis entire crew seems on the verge of obsessive behavior concerning Captain Gillis. He was an officer and our friend. For some of us, he was the only thing keeping us on the ship.\u201d He looked directly at Jayna, the Betazoid diplomat who smiled that annoying smile which meant she had nothing helpful to add. As usual. \u201cWe\u2019ll all miss him, but life must go on.\u201d His tone softened. \u201cWith all these so-called sightings, clearly something is amiss. But until we have proof positive that Captain Gillis is back from the dead, I want these rumors squelched\u2026 I\u2019m charging all of you with finding out what\u2019s really going on with these \u2018sightings.\u2019 Lieutenant Yeldarb, you\u2019ll be in charge.\u201d<\/p>\n

Drebin sighed. \u201cIt\u2019s not going to be easy, Captain.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, ignite the midnight petroleum if you have to. \u201cI want facts, people, not conjecture.\u201d McEntire tapped his finger on the table slowly. \u201cI want answers.\u201d<\/p>\n

The intercom blooped. \u201cCaptain, we are secure from warp speed, now entering Dovum sector.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you. Slow to impulse speed and put us in high orbit of Corel.\u201d He returned his attention to the group. \u201cCaptain Scott and I are about to undertake an undercover and very unauthorized mission on Corel. Mr. Black, I want you to assume command of the Enterprise. Put the ship behind the dark side of Corel\u2019s largest moon, A\u2019Riel, and await our signal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

PLANET COREL<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain\u2019s log, supplemental. Scotty and I have beamed down to Silver Springs, a fishing community on the Kalellian sea, about eighty kilometers from where Gillis\u2019 shuttle crashed. Once we secure transportation, we will examine the crash site. After that, our destination is Chocora, a small uninhabited island about five kilometers from the crash area. It makes sense that if Gillis had survived the attack on the Lorrah, he would have made way for the nearest land.\u201d<\/p>\n

They approached a small docking area, and a native by the name of Bil (a Corellian word meaning, \u201cI am not what I appear to be.\u201d) Amazing language, huh?<\/p>\n

\u201cAaayyyy, Mon!\u201d the cheerful native began, \u201cGood morning to ya! Ya want a tour? Beel show ya da prettiest sights around. I know the area real good. I be the smartest in Silver Springs ya know mon!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe local hero,\u201d McEntire said with a smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cYa that\u2019s me,\u201d Bil replied with a toothy grin. \u201cPretty seen-ry round here, mon. Beel be ya guide. Show ya the Scarlet Forest, the coast of Alamoosook. Maybe even get to see da pretty dolphins off Reba\u2019s cove.\u201d Bil nodded enthusiastically. \u201cSo where do you want ta go, mon?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, Bil, my friend and I just want to rent one of your fine boats here and do a little deep-sea fishing by ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOoohhh, sorry mon, I couldn\u2019t just loanya one of my boats!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have a lot of money to spend, Bil.\u201d McEntire produced a handful of replicated diamonds. They sparkled in Dovum\u2019s light to produce an entrancing glow. Bil\u2019s eyes lit up in the same color.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have just da boat for ya, mon. She\u2019s a beauty and by coincidence she costs just as much as the pretty stones in ya hand. We gotta deal, mon?\u201d<\/p>\n

While Scotty covertly scanned the craft for hidden tracking devices and recorders, McEntire and Bil negotiated. The captain didn\u2019t want to appear too obvious, so he haggled a little and finally gave Bil all but three of the synthetic diamonds. Shortly, Scotty and McEntire were in a sleek water craft, and they were en route to the site of the crash.<\/p>\n

The waters of the Kalellian sea were choppy, and by the time they\u2019d reached the site, it was raining heavily. McEntire retrieved a tricorder and began scanning. \u201cThis is the central area where the shuttle came down. I recommend we start here.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire and Scott donned Starfleet Marine diving gear and dove into the churning water. Exotic fish and many aquatic life forms that defied description politely moved out of the way as the two officers swam by them. Scotty switched on the communications system.<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid, do you see anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire switched his underwater beacon to full intensity. \u201cBits and pieces of the wreckage, and the tricorder is going hoopy over a metallic object lodged into some rocks thirty feet below us. I\u2019ll be right back.\u201d<\/p>\n

As he dove deeper, McEntire had to pause to admire Scotty \u2013 the man was in his seventies, yet handled a difficult dive with seeming ease. He\u2019d have to compliment him on that later, when this was all over.<\/p>\n

Within moments, David had found the object\u2014a small terminium cylinder. \u201cI found the flight recorder, Scotty. No way a ship would\u2019ve picked this up from space with all the gravimetric interference. It\u2019s been badly damaged, but it might provide us some clues if Bobby…\u201d He let his voice trail off. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Scotty. I just can\u2019t accept that he\u2019s gone. What am I going to tell Sue?\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty decided not to get into it\u2014there was no point in getting distracted, and he felt that the Corellians somehow knew they were here, anyway. \u201cUv samples of the wreckage for analysis.\u201d He slipped them into a large zip-lock bag. \u201cThat\u2019s all that\u2019s here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, let\u2019s surface and get to our next destination.\u201d<\/p>\n

They made their way back to the surface, and after two more dives that found nothing more, they made their way to Chocora, the large island that served as Corel\u2019s chief energy production facility. Nearly 90 per cent of Chocora\u2019s surface was covered with massive solar panels. However, the Corellians took care to preserve this area as well, and lush foliage still covered much of the inner island.<\/p>\n

The two Starfleet officers beached the craft. McEntire reached into his duffel bag, withdrew eleven shiny canisters, and began attaching them to the underside of the solar panels.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, Scotty realized what his friend was doing. \u201cDavid, ye cannna do this! This is their power supply and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRelax, old friend,\u201d McEntire said soothingly. \u201cI\u2019m only doing this in case we need a little diversion. I\u2019m planting these KB5\u2019s where they\u2019ll do the least amount of damage. I\u2019ll only use them if we have to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty took out a tricorder. \u201cAye, I keep forgetting that um dealing with the Commander of the Starfleet Marines.\u201d He resumed scanning. \u201cWe\u2019ve got company. Humanoid life signs. Three of them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis island is supposedly uninhabited, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye, it\u2019s all automated. \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPhasers on stun, Scotty.\u201d They made their way into the lush jungle, passing many beautiful trees and foliage. As they chopped through some underbrush, they were interrupted by the incessant beeping of the tricorder. \u201cThey\u2019re just ahead of us,\u201d Scotty whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh oh,\u201d McEntire said. He recognized \u201cBil\u201d in an official uniform. Any traces of the friendly island accent and simple mannerisms were gone. \u201cCorellian law enforcement officers. They\u2019re constabulary patrolman from the deputy sheriff\u2019s office of police marshals.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s more to it than just that, David. My tricorder is picking up a the signature flux of a diphasmatronic multispectral antireflection protoresonator beam.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire blinked. \u201cAnd that is?\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty grew excited. \u201cLaddie, they\u2019re about to erect a magnetic shield over the island to prevent beaming.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou might have said so in the first place, old friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid, they know we\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n

To emphasize that last point, the foliage above them exploded into flame as the local cops\u2014cherry tops\u2014ripped this holy night. The Starfleet officers dove for cover.<\/p>\n

\u201cWelcome back to Corel, gentlemen,\u201d maximum lawman Bil shouted. \u201cCaptain David McEntire, Captain Montgomery Scott, under article 95 of your interstellar law, I am placing you under arrest. You are charged with criminal planetary trespass and violating the prime directive.\u201d He fired a weapon that caused the trees above to burst into flames.<\/p>\n

As Scotty whipped out a batzooka and returned fire, McEntire ripped open his communicator. \u201cEnterprise! Emergency beam out! Now!\u201d<\/p>\n

The transporter beam took them just as their rocky cover vanished from Corellian phaser fire and the shield came into being.<\/p>\n

Bil cursed the air.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey know,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\n


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

USS ENTERPRISE<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Enterprise stellar cartography lab was bustling with activity. Scotty began, \u201cThe Lorrah\u2019s flight recorder memory banks were pretty badly burnt, and even with computer enhancement, all we could make out was this.\u201d He hit a button that made an obligatory bleep sound. The speakers came to life, and above the static, Gillis\u2019 voice could barely be heard:<\/p>\n

\u201cSsssttk relics sssssssjenolansssskkkkttttjenolttt (blap).\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJenolan,\u201d McEntire said thoughtfully. \u201cRelics.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does it all mean?\u201d Scotty asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe IRS 1040-EZ form!\u201d Yeldarb exclaimed.<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded. \u201cVERY confusing, Lieutenant. Anything further on your investigation of the ghostly sightings of our late Captain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBoston Red Sox, sir,\u201d Yeldarb replied glumly.<\/p>\n

McEntire knew a strong negative when he heard it. \u201cMr. Yeldarb, you\u2019re a funny guy.\u201d<\/p>\n

The intercom bleeped. \u201cCaptain,\u201d Drebin began, \u201cWe are receiving repeated hails from Corel. Leader Aar-cu\u2019rY himself is calling, and he wants you to beam down! Beyond the palace, heavy powered drones are screaming down the boulevard! Rebel urbite and bynite swoopers are already heading into orbit! They know we\u2019re still here, Captain!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought communications were out, Mr. Drebin?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, sir, I checked everything thoroughly, and nothing is wrong,\u201d he replied proudly.<\/p>\n

McEntire watched as Scotty strode over to an access panel, reached inside, and yanked out a handful of opticable that exploded into a shower of sparks. He nodded with approval and added, \u201cPlease look again, Mr. Drebin. I\u2019m sure something is wrong with communications.\u201d God, what else can go wrong?<\/p>\n

A moment later, the door swished open, and Drebin came racing in with a piece of paper. \u201cSir! When Admiral Perot couldn\u2019t contact us, he sent us a fax!\u201d<\/p>\n

I had to ask, didn\u2019t I? \u201cRead it to us, Lieutenant.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt says, \u2018Printed on 100% recycled paper!\u2019\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

McEntire closed his eyes. \u201cDoes the fax say anything else, Lieutenant?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

Silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cCode: 000 Destruct 0. It would be so simple,\u201d McEntire thought to himself. \u201cLieutenant Drebin, will you please read all of the fax to us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir! It says, \u2018Your little unauthorized fishing trip to the forbidden planet has made Corel hotter than the uncut version of Naked Sorority Hotties in the Vampire Dungeon! Get your kibbles & bits back to Earth, pronto!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDammit,\u201d he said firmly. He turned his chair to look out the observation window and thought for a moment.<\/p>\n

\u201cI believe Captain Gillis is alive and the Corellians have him.\u201d He stood up. \u201cPrime Directive be damned, I\u2019m ending this Corel thing once and for all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

FAR HILLS, CITY OF AMASASTOKEK
\nPHO\u2019EBE (THIRD MOON OF COREL)
\nSTARDATE: 9681.3<\/strong><\/p>\n

Captain Robert J. Gillis, the not-so-dead celebrated and controversial Starfleet officer, harbinger of chaos, undisputed air-hockey champion of the United States (yeah, right) and recent kidnap victim sighed heavily. After a long pause to reflect on captor\u2019s latest move, his response was clear.<\/p>\n

\u201cCheckmate,\u201d he said with a small smile as he placed the rook down with a solid thump.<\/p>\n

Chand\u2019Leros, leader of the Bob-Be-Gones (an ancient Corellian phrase that very roughly translates into English as \u201cBob, be gone!\u201d) and third in command of the move to overthrow Corel\u2019s legitimate government shook his head. \u201cAn intriguing game, this Earth chess. I have beaten you only twice. You must be considered a master of the game.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis smiled. \u201cMy rating is only 2000, about one third of Captain McEntire\u2019s.\u201d He thought for a moment, and then said, \u201cChand\u2019Leros, as much as I\u2019ve enjoyed our chess matches and your humane treatment of me, I need to tell you that this can\u2019t go on much longer. You people are terrorists and want to overthrow a democratic government. Besides, if what you say is true, Starfleet has already given up on me and pronounced me dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chand\u2019Leros began to pack away the chess pieces. \u201cThat is immaterial. Uz\u2019Mun-dee will be here presently, and then we shall announce that you are alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s Uz\u2019Mun-dee?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUz\u2019Mun-dee is the founder of the rebel alliance and our supreme leader.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I thought Auda was the top guy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou thought incorrectly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis stood up and began to pace the small library as he ran his fingers through his thick, silky hair in exasperation. \u201cLook, Chand\u2019Leros, you obviously get your perks being top brass around here with everybody and his grandmother under your direct command. Okay, okay, so you\u2019re the number three guy after Uz\u2019Mun-dee and Auda. But look,\u201d he was pleading now\u2014he knew Chand\u2019Leros liked it when people pleaded or begged, \u201cyou\u2019ve got to understand, I\u2019m not built for this kind of thing. I\u2019ve got to be out there on my ship, with my crew, boldly going where no man has gone before, to seek out new life, new civilizations…\u201d He was getting that glazed look in his eyes\u2014Chand\u2019Leros hated it when he got that glazed look in his eyes.<\/p>\n

Chand\u2019Leros pressed a communications device on his wrist. \u201cWill someone please bring our guest another Coca-Cola before I execute him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s another thing. You have a supply of real Coca-Cola imported from Earth. I want it. Not that replicated walrus urine your computer makes.\u201d He paused. \u201cI just can\u2019t fathom why you\u2019d want little old me as a hostage. I\u2019m not Corellian; I\u2019m not top brass at Starfleet. I\u2019m not even from this century.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUz\u2019Mun-dee asked for you specifically. He was able to infiltrate your command hierarchy and utilize your time-travel satellite to journey back to the year 1993 and convey you to Corel for your trial. When you were exonerated, we made the decision to destroy your shuttle and capture you.\u201d He continued, \u201cIn two days, Corel celebrates Grand Kadooment Day, the planetary celebration of the new year and anniversary of the founding of our so-called democratic government over one thousand years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis said nothing as an elite Starfleet rescue squad failed to appear. Failed miserably, in fact.<\/p>\n

Chand\u2019Leros continued, \u201cLeader Aar-cu\u2019rY will be addressing a crowd of fifty thousand people at the amphitheater. He and the crowd will be killed in a dreadful explosion, and you will be implicated. This planet will be so concerned with this heinous offense that it will turn its attention to revenge on Starfleet\u2014and we will be entrenched. Uz\u2019Mun-dee will become leader of Corel, and usher in a new era.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Gillis. (Don\u2019t laugh; it had happened before). \u201cHey, Chand\u2019Leros, before I\u2019m framed for the murder of thousands of innocent people and the start of a bloody civil way, do you think I could meet this Uz\u2019Mun-dee guy? Maybe then he could tell me why this whole planet hates me so much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour request is unnecessary, Captain. Uz\u2019Mun-dee is coming here specifically to see you.\u201d The device on Chand\u2019Leros\u2019 wrist beeped. \u201cA matter requires my attention. I shall summon the guards to return you to your cell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cChand\u2019Leros, may I stay a moment and peruse your library? Perhaps I could select a book to read.\u201d<\/p>\n

Donning his trademark raspberry beret, Chand\u2019Leros eyed the Starfleet legend narrowly. \u201cVery well, Captain. But be warned, there is a guard outside the door. All computer terminals are password protected with a 337 digit cipher key, a \u201cflying toasters\u201d screen saver, and a small explosive charge.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chand\u2019Leros left the room, and Gillis bolted to a computer. His captor left him alone for exactly one minute and four seconds, giving Gillis time only to bypass all of the security systems, to access and learn the alien computer operating system language, write and compile a stealth program to establish a connection with the Corellian News Network (CNN) and then find a way to piggyback a message without being detected. He dashed off three words and cut the transmission, and hoped that the message to David was clear. With or without outside help, he was going to escape. He had to save Aar-cu\u2019rY\u2019s life and this planet\u2019s future. But hey, that was the kind of guy he was. Ask anybody.<\/p>\n

Nodding with satisfaction, he entered a string of commands that would erase any evidence of his tampering. \u201cThe more they over-think the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain,\u201d he muttered as he walked over to the shelf and selected a large volume conveniently entitled, \u201cAn extremely recent history of Corel.\u201d<\/p>\n

The book described a planet that had been at peace for centuries until the appearance of Auda. But as Chand\u2019Leros had explained, Auda wasn\u2019t the leader\u2014Uz\u2019Mun-dee was. Uz\u2019Mun-dee had apparently given Auda the backing he needed to conduct his rebel activities, and allowed Auda to spread his propaganda of a Corel-first movement with suspicion and hatred toward the Federation and Starfleet, and David McEntire and Robert Gillis in particular.<\/p>\n

In perfect James Kirk-like cadence, Gillis gestured wildly with his hands and bellowed, \u201cBut… why… us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

STARSHIP ENTERPRISE NCC-1701-A
\nTHE DOVUM STAR SYSTEM
\nSTARDATE: 9681.8<\/strong><\/p>\n

Captain David McEntire, the beloved Supreme Commander of the Starfleet Marines, revered Starfleet captain, law student, Nobel Prize winner, and author of nearly all of Elvis Presley\u2019s greatest hits woke quietly from yet another night of bad dreams and broken sleep.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood Lord,\u201d he said aloud as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and then looked at all the work he\u2019d piled on the bed. Captaining a Starfleet vessel was enough of a chore without the added problem that he was carrying on a covert mission to find his missing best friend, while ducking both the Corellians AND Starfleet. While he was convinced that Gillis might still be alive on Corel, he\u2019d begun to try to steel himself in case he was wrong.<\/p>\n

He took a shower, dressed, and was just finishing a bowl of Granola and reading a copy of Rutgers Computer & Technology Law Journal when the door chimed. Of course, \u201cthe door chimed\u201d is just a figure of speech. It was really the doorbell, but no one called it that in the 23rd century. And it wasn\u2019t really a door buzzer, either, because the noise was a pleasant chime and not an annoying buzz, unlike this explanation. Therefore, it would be technically correct to say that the door chime chimed.<\/p>\n

McEntire ignored all of this. \u201cCome in!\u201d<\/p>\n

Chief Engineer John Black entered, carrying a data pad. \u201cCaptain, I have new information for you. As you ordered, we\u2019ve been monitoring all of Corel\u2019s transmissions. Mostly standard communication broadcast stuff, but take a look at this. The computer found it about ten hours ago\u2014we were sorting through the data and there it was.\u201d He pressed a few buttons on the pad. \u201cA three word transmission piggy-backed on a standard Corellian broadcast. Take a look at the frequency.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c436.1964 gigahertz. That was Bobby\u2019s phone number back in Dorchester.\u201d To Black\u2019s raised eyebrow, he explained, \u201cDorchester was an old city on Earth, in the United States. Destroyed in the final battle of the Earth-Krypton war during the Crisis on Infinite Earths.\u201d He looked at the numbers again. \u201cWas that the only frequency that had such a piggy-back?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir. It can\u2019t be a coincidence,\u201d Black replied as nothing exploded.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat were the three words?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDream, Weaver, and Maxwell.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire broke into a huge smile. \u201cComputer, replay the final message Captain Gillis sent from the shuttle Lorrah before it was destroyed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSsssttk relics sssssssjenolansssskkkkttttjenolttt (blap)\u201d the computer responded obligingly.<\/p>\n

\u201cRelics, Jenolan… A transporter beam,\u201d Black said softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cIndisputably,\u201d McEntire snapped. \u201cNow how about Dream Weaver, Maxwell?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDream Weaver…\u201d Black repeated. \u201cThat song from the 1970s… Fly me away to the bright side of the moon, meet me on the other side.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight!\u201d McEntire replied. \u201cThe only possible meaning. And Maxwell?\u201d<\/p>\n

Black snorted. \u201cThat\u2019s almost too easy, Captain. Bill Maxwell, an FBI agent on the 20th century television program, \u201cGreatest American Hero.\u201d FBI agents are often called \u201cFibbies,\u201d an obvious play-on-words for \u2018Phoebe\u2019 or \u2018Pho\u2019Ebe,\u2019 Corel\u2019s third moon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly!\u201d McEntire exclaimed. \u201cA clear and precise message from Captain Gillis, explaining that he was transported away from the shuttle before it crashed, and taken to the dark side of Pho\u2019Ebe, Corel\u2019s third moon. We\u2019ve been searching for him on Corel, but he\u2019s been on Pho\u2019Ebe all this time!\u201d He raised his voice. \u201cMcEntire to Drebin.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDrebin here, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. Drebin, assemble the entire crew on the recreation deck at 0900. I have an announcement to make.\u201d A light crossed his face. \u201cAlso, prepare Silverwing for immediate launch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour personal command shuttle, Captain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Mr. Drebin, my atomic-powered hot dog stand. Yes, my shuttle.\u201d He broke the connection.<\/p>\n

\u201cPermission to speak freely, Captain?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlways, John. You know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t like Drebin, do you, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJohn, it\u2019s not that. Bobby and I are two very different types of captains, and as a Starfleet Marine I expect a different level of discipline. I can\u2019t for the life of me understand some of Bobby\u2019s crew choices. Drebin, for example, the headaches he gives me… Did you ever research privacy rights under the fourth amendment to the Constitution and section one of the California constitution in relation to drug-testing for an appellate brief?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s a lot like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

He rubbed his eyes for a moment. \u201cYou know, John, you are the only member of the crew besides our missing Captain that I completely trust.\u201d<\/p>\n

Black smiled a knowing look. \u201cWell, I hope so, sir. On that note, I received a subspace hyper channel message on one of our secret frequencies from some of our friends at Command. They have proceeded according to your instructions, and Perot, fearing a supposed \u201cmassive conspiracy\u201d at Starfleet, has resigned.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGod bless the Starfleet Marines,\u201d McEntire said with satisfaction. He leaned back into the padding on his Harvard chair. \u201cTake a seat, John. There\u2019s another matter to discuss.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Black complied and still nothing exploded, McEntire began, \u201cJohn, consider this: Would I voluntarily give up supreme command of the Starfleet Marines to command an individual cruiser? Of course not! Do you have any idea of the perks that go along with supreme command? Hell, I could beam six squadrons of our top commandos into Starfleet headquarters and declare a code one emergency; before anyone could figure out what was going on I\u2019d be Supreme Commander of the Federation! But of course I\u2019m much too humble, noble and financially secure to try anything that harebrained… YET!\u201d<\/p>\n

Black smiled and did not interrupt his Captain.<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter we bring back Captain Gillis\u2014and we will bring him back\u2014I\u2019m resigning my position as Supreme Commander. I have a life back in the 20th century, and my recent defense of Captain Gillis on Corel has resparked my interest in law. Oh, I\u2019ll probably be back and forth to the 23rd century, but an elite unit like the Starfleet Marines can\u2019t be run part-time. I intend you to replace me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stunned, Black replied, \u201cI could only succeed you, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire shook his head as an errant blue jay flew directly at the window and struck it. As the bird shrieked in pain and colorful feathers wafted in all directions, he continued, \u201cI\u2019ll need your expert opinion for our best scenario for getting Captain Gillis out alive, with the least amount of casualties.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRecommend we bring out the Hammer, Captain.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire thought for a long moment. \u201cI concur. Make the necessary arrangements and get her here quietly.\u201d He looked at the data pad again, and then added, \u201cHow is Yeldarb\u2019s investigation of our mystery guests coming along?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s made progress, sir. Our ghostly avenging angel has made three appearances, and caused a lot of chaos and minor damage. Our teenage duplicate of Captain Gillis continues to evade security but has apparently spent the night with no less than nine of our young female crew members, and seems particularly fond of Ensign Cindy Allenby in engineering. From all reports, her screams of pleasure were heard across six decks of the Enterprise.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire raised an eyebrow.<\/p>\n

Black continued, \u201cI talked to Allenby this morning; she\u2019s only 20 but her Starfleet service record is exemplary. Once I assured her that we weren\u2019t upset with her for \u201cfraternizing\u201d with our teenage friend, she told me that he hates to be called Bobby and goes by the name of Kyle.\u201d Black paused for a moment, then said, \u201cDavid, off the record, Allenby really loves this guy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnything further? Does this Kyle character think he\u2019s Bobby back from the dead, or anything like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe has no idea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFind him, John.\u201d McEntire leaned back in his chair for a long time, then said, \u201cI\u2019m going to contact Starfleet and try to iron out some of this mess with Command. I\u2019ll ask you to get in touch with Monica and tell her we need her. You and I should meet at 13:00 to discuss strategies.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye, sir.\u201d Black rose and left McEntire\u2019s quarters.<\/p>\n

As the door whooshed shut, McEntire allowed the command facade to drop, and let a rush of emotion hit him.<\/p>\n

\u201cBobby is alive!\u201d<\/p>\n

The euphoria that hit him nearly engulfed him. All this time, he had refused to give up on his best friend, and prayed that maybe, just maybe, Bobby hadn\u2019t died in the shuttle explosion. Now he had conclusive proof that Bobby was alive, and no force in the universe would stop McEntire from getting Bobby back home to his friends and family.<\/p>\n

\n

On the main recreation deck, the assembled crew of the great starship gathered as McEntire entered the room and stepped up to a podium, tastefully decorated with the Starfleet command symbol and garish blinking Christmas lights. \u201cBrave and noble crew, your captain speaks. I have positive, indisputable proof that Captain Gillis is alive and being held against his will by the Corellians.\u201d<\/p>\n

The response, of course, was immediate:<\/p>\n

\u201cHoly plot twists!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not going in there!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHonestly, I\u2019ve never understood… Vulcan mysticism.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThese are not the droids you seek.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOut of control and blind as a bat!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGet him back! Get him back!\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire frowned and continued, \u201cI have just spoken with Headquarters, and have learned that the Commander of Starfleet has resigned. Admiral Harold T. Morrow, the former Commander of Starfleet, is in charge until further notice. I spoke with the admiral at great length and presented the evidence that Captain Gillis is alive. The admiral told me that the political situation on Corel is deteriorating exponentially\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that\u2019s bad,\u201d Drebin explained to the crew.<\/p>\n

McEntire twitched slightly, but then just raised his index finger in a \u201cwait\u201d gesture. \u201cIndeed it is. Therefore, the Federation council has voted to reject Corel\u2019s membership at the present time\u2014They have to resolve their internal matters first. The bob-be-gones rebel faction on Corel is a lot more organized that we initially believed, and Auda, believed to be the leader of the rebels, has escaped custody. Random violence\u2014all in the name of the rebels\u2014has increased dramatically. In addition, many of the female whales are killed, while still bearing unborn calves!\u201d<\/p>\n

He paused and frowned and typed some commands into the TelePrompTer. \u201cThere we go,\u201d he said as the correct speech was displayed. \u201cAlthough I made a command decision to reject Admiral Perot\u2019s orders, Admiral Morrow has cleared us of any wrongdoing after accepting our evidence that Captain Gillis is alive. He is allowing us to continue our investigation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe will be undertaking a rescue mission shortly, and I want battle readiness plans from all departments. The senior staff will assemble in conference room four at 1400.\u201d He turned toward Jayna and added, \u201cThat\u2019s two o\u2019clock in the afternoon, Jayna. It\u2019s what we call military time.\u201d<\/p>\n

At that moment, the intercom blooped. \u201cCaptain McEntire on discrete,\u201d Black said.<\/p>\n

McEntire punched a button on the wall. \u201cYes, Commander.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe found him, sir. Main gymnasium.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire bit his lip. \u201cSecure the area, have a security team meet me there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Five minutes later, McEntire was standing outside the ship\u2019s main gymnasium, looking at a tricorder.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be damned,\u201d he said to three armed security guards.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want us to arrest him, sir?\u201d one of the goons asked.<\/p>\n

McEntire waved his hand. \u201cEnsign, Enterprise captains have a grand tradition of waiving away armed escort and entering potentially deadly and lethal situations unarmed and alone. Wait here.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doors parted, and McEntire found the young man who bore a remarkable resemblance to Bobby at age 17. Kyle lay prone on an exercise bench, wearing gym shorts, a weight-lifters belt, and a muscle T-shirt. Bench pressing two hundred pounds, his muscles rippled, and he was surrounded by six female off-duty crew members.<\/p>\n

McEntire paused to contemplate whether the author of this chapter had truly gone bonkers, filed the question for later review, and decided not to mince words. \u201cEnsigns, the ship is now on yellow alert. Report to your stations.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the other crew-members raced out, one lingered and asked, \u201cAre we still on for our date, cutie?\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle retrieved a large appointment book marked \u201cSecret Garden\u201d from his duffel bag. \u201cLet\u2019s see. I\u2019ve got coed naked volleyball in the gym tonight at 7:00, followed by a massage…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry to interrupt this nonsense,\u201d McEntire said, \u201cEnsign, you are DISMISSED.\u201d<\/p>\n

Once the doors closed, McEntire said, \u201cI want to talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle tossed the weights down with a solid thump. \u201cIs that an order, captain-sir?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to talk about Captain Gillis.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle smirked. \u201cMy daddy? I\u2019ll bet he never had a body like this.\u201d He extended a forearm. \u201cHere, feel this bicep.\u201d<\/p>\n

MacDonald sat on an adjacent bench tiredly. \u201cLook, I\u2019ll grant you points for evading us this long, but you\u2019re way out of your league. Your magical powers \u2013 and your ability to evade security scans — are all derived from a sophisticated computer located in your earring. You\u2019re in lot of trouble, young man\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cScrew you,\u201d Kyle snarled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I want to know is who you are.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHappy to oblige, Commodore Shmidlap. I\u2019m the result of a transporter accident\u2014remember back in November 1981 when John Bourke created his first transporter in high school?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded slowly. \u201cYes, JB had disguised it as a phone booth, and Bobby accidentally went through it and got beamed across Boston. JB was able to beam him back a few minutes later.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle smiled. \u201cRight. Well, it turns out that JB\u2019s transporter was imperfect\u2014if you wanna suspend your disbelief on that one\u2014and created a second Bobby Gillis in the process\u2014me. I materialized in the phone booth a few minutes later. But I knew I was a duplicate, and I knew I wasn\u2019t an exact copy, either. And although I have all of Bobby\u2019s memories up to his 17th year, I don\u2019t share a lot of his beliefs and morals. I mean, he\u2019s a bit of a square. And that \u201cnice guy\u201d act is…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not speak ill of my best friend,\u201d McEntire said darkly.<\/p>\n

Kyle ignored him. \u201cYou yourself have often said that the world could never handle two Bobbys, so I went into hiding. A few months after my creation, when JB created his first time machine, I used it and traveled here, to the 23rd century. I was young and pretty on the main streets of the city, and I thought to make it my home. With Bobby\u2019s incredible computer skills, it was easy for me to set up a new identity, and I started working out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how did you manage to find your way aboard the Enterprise at this particular time?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn outstanding question,\u201d Kyle returned. \u201cActually, I\u2019d hopped a ride from Earth aboard a passenger ship and had been vacationing on Corel for some time: skin diving, swimming, getting to \u201cknow\u201d the Corellian women… But for some reason, once I traveled to the more populated areas, I was causing a commotion. I guess Captain Bobby is pretty notorious on Corel. This rebel guy named Uzzy-Muzzy or something tried to capture me, but I escaped with the aid of a beautiful red-headed woman who hid me under her bed after I agreed to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpare me the details,\u201d McEntire said, exasperated. \u201cSo the rebels wanted you\u2014I mean Bobby?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep. Once I heard the Enterprise was in orbit, I was able to jury-rig a cloaked transporter and beam aboard. My earring also contains technology that allows me to do some pretty cool stuff. Don\u2019t ask me to explain\u2014the techno babble explanation would sink a season\u2019s worth of Voyager episodes.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire crossed his arms. \u201cOne other question. The transporter accident with Bobby was many years ago, yet you still look about 17 or 18.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI age a lot slower than you. Part of the problem with the transporter. Another is that my hormones are substantially accelerated. I have a lot of built up energy. That\u2019s why I took up the avenging angel bit, to blow off steam. There\u2019s not much to do on this ship until the chicks get off duty.\u201d<\/p>\n

MacDonald shook his head in amazement. \u201cYou are one of the most single-minded pigs I\u2019ve ever seen in my life! But your gift for flamboyance and pyrotechnics…\u201d Would be invaluable. He thought for a long moment. \u201cKyle, would you consider using your abilities to help us retrieve Captain Gillis?\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle grabbed one of the free weights and started doing one-armed curls. \u201cWhat\u2019s in it for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire frowned. \u201cOh, I don\u2019t know; maybe helping to save the life of the very person you were created from.\u201d He tried to hold his temper\u2014if he was ending sentences with prepositions, God only knew what was next.<\/p>\n

Kyle shrugged. \u201cHe means nothing to me. He really doesn\u2019t.\u201d He switched the weight to his other hand. \u201cBut I suppose if I decline, you\u2019ll go on a long-winded tirade about my duty to him, and how I should instinctively want to help, and all that jazz.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire effortlessly lifted a 250 pound set of barbells and brought it over to Kyle. \u201cNo, not really. But I did plan to wrap this around your neck like a bow-tie.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle swallowed and tried to present an unruffled facade, but McEntire knew that Kyle took his threat seriously. \u201cI\u2019ll help you on one condition. Bobby\u2019s got a life back in the 20th century, so I\u2019m not returning there. I want a shuttle outfitted with warp and drive. I\u2019ll need transportation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? Where are you going?\u201d McEntire asked, dropping the barbells precariously close to Kyle\u2019s foot.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I told you, you wouldn\u2019t let me go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not good enough. I can\u2019t just unleash you on the universe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m already unleashed on the universe, Captain Moonbeam. And you\u2019ll probably never find Bobby without my help. So, do we have an agreement?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire bit his lip. \u201cWe do. Give engineering the specifications and tell them to take the shuttle Asbury Park. You have my word that if you help bring back Bobby alive, you\u2019re free to take the shuttle.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire rose as Kyle went back to his bench-pressing. Kyle felt the eyes watching him, and finally demanded, \u201cWHAT?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire shook his head. \u201cSeeing you brings back a lot of good memories of Bobby, back in high school. But you are completely different than him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo he wasn\u2019t a muscular girl-magnet in high school? He wasn\u2019t this charismatic?<\/p>\n

\u201cHe was well-liked, Kyle. He was a good friend to many people.\u201d McEntire finally put his finger on what had been bothering him about Kyle beyond the resemblance. Seeing \u201cBobby\u201d as a teen-ager again, it occurred to David that if Bobby had been anything like Kyle back in high school, they would never have become best friends. He shook his head at how different his life would have been, and how much sadder life would have been for both of them had they not been there for each other these many years.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, Bobby was nothing like me,\u201d Kyle insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d McEntire said softly, as he left the room. \u201cHe wasn\u2019t an asshole.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

At exactly 13:59 ship\u2019s time, McEntire joined his already-assembled staff in conference room four, swatted aside the Monopoly game in progress, and began, \u201cYou all known the situation. Opinions, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

Drebin brightened. \u201cWhat we need is to take the Corellians by surprise. Captain, recommend that we go to blue alert and land the ship on Corel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCommander Drebin,\u201d McEntire began, \u201cremember that conversation we had last week about you thinking over things before you say them out loud?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yes sir, but there wasn\u2019t time for that!\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire absently flicked the \u201cPark Place\u201d deed card in his fingers and returned, \u201cCommander, there is no such thing as \u201cblue alert,\u201d and the Enterprise, historically, isn\u2019t much of land vehicle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKirk at Genesis,\u201d Yeldarb chirped helpfully. \u201cKirk and Picard at Veridian III, when the…\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire cut him off. \u201cThat\u2019s it exactly, Skippy.\u201d He turned to Seaborn. \u201cDo you think we can scan the moon Pho\u2019Ebe and locate out missing captain?\u201d<\/p>\n

Before Seaborn could reply, Drebin interrupted, \u201cIn theory, a phased topographic imaging pulse-scanner might do it, sir. Have you ever used a phased topographic imaging pulse-scanner to differentiate between human and Corellian readings?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d McEntire replied excitedly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou will,\u201d Drebin replied, \u201cand the company that will bring it to you will be AT&T.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire closed his eyes and took a very deep breath. \u201cMr. Drebin, please go get me a cup of coffee from the food replicator on deck 15, section J. That\u2019s my favorite one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Drebin looked puzzled. \u201cBut Captain, there\u2019s a replicator right here and…\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire stood up and pointed toward the door. His whispered voice came out in much the way someone talks just before their neural synapse start popping like rice crispies. \u201cCommander, I consider myself a humanitarian, but right now I could kick a puppy through a plate-glass window. Deck 15, section J. Now. Please.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Drebin left, McEntire rubbed his temples and turned to Scott.<\/p>\n

Scotty smiled. \u201cAlready on it, Captain. Aye, now that we know where ta look, we\u2019ll find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cScotty, you\u2019re a miracle worker.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain! You\u2019re just getting ta realize that NOW?\u201d Scotty rejoined as he began working a console. In a few moments, he continued, \u201cThere we go. We av Captain Gillis\u2019 coordinates in the city of Amasastokek on Pho\u2019Ebe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Seaborn continued, \u201cUnlike most of the moons in the Terran solar system, all three of Corel\u2019s moons: A\u2019Riel, Chal\u2019Ra and Pho\u2019Ebe are lush planetoids, covered with forests and small oceans. In addition, A\u2019Riel and Pho\u2019Ebe are populated.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty suppressed a curse. \u201cProblem, sir. The whole complex on Pho\u2019Ebe is surrounded by a magnetic shield. The closest we can get ya is about four kilometers from Captain Gillis\u2019 location.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny break in the shield?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNae, sir, but the north side leads to the Meeko Cliffs. Tis a three hundred meter drop to the water and the screeching eels.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire turned to the rest of the group. \u201cShuttle, then. This is going to be very dangerous. Captain Gillis is not exactly the most loved man on Corel…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA place where everyone knows his name, and they\u2019re never glad he came,\u201d Yeldarb warbled gleefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh… yes.\u201d McEntire replied warily. \u201cBut we will bring him back to us, and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn blackest day in darkest night no evil shall escape your sight!\u201d Yeldarb bolstered merrily.<\/p>\n

McEntire closed his eyes again. Regulation 8125-T: No flag officer shall fire an atomic bazooka at a subordinate, no matter how badly he may want to. \u201cDamn,\u201d he muttered, \u201cthey thought of everything.\u201d He looked at the group. \u201cAnything further?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye,\u201d Scotty replied. \u201cTomorrow is a Corellian holiday called Grand Kadooment Day.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded. \u201cFounding of the Corellian democratic government after the overthrow of the dictator Tre\u2019sco-mo\u2019rill a thousand years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye sir. And may I say your knowledge of Corellian history is veddy impressive.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStandard Starfleet procedure, my friend, to learn as much as you can about your opponent before you enter battle. Speaking of which, despite all the partying associated with Kadooment Day, we\u2019ll still need a diversion.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKyle, I take it?\u201d Seaborn asked.<\/p>\n

McEntire replied, \u201cExactly. Our resident Gillis-clone and I will be taking the shuttle Lokki down to the surface while the Enterprise warps into Corellian orbit and puts on a phaser fireworks display in the upper atmosphere. Planetary defense will go crazy, and the shuttle should slip by to Pho\u2019Ebe unnoticed. It\u2019ll be a very rough ride, but the shuttle\u2019s inertia dampeners should compensate for the field stress. Commander Black will be leaving the Enterprise on a related covert mission, so Captain Scott will be in command until I return.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

PLANET COREL<\/strong><\/p>\n

The next day in his detention cell, Gillis withdrew the four cans of Coca-Cola from the small refrigeration device his captors had provided. He drank one, placed one in his pocket, and shook the other two cans furiously. After a moment, he hurled one of the cans at the cell\u2019s force field and threw himself into the far corner of the room.<\/p>\n

The resulting explosion from the pressurized Coca-Cola can obliterated the force field and surrounding wall. As three guards burst into the room, Gillis opened the other shaken can directly at their faces, sending a lethal spray of Coca-Cola at them. Blinded and disoriented, the guards fell to the floor screaming. As Gillis retrieved their weapons, he paused to stare lovingly at the remains of one of the shredded cans. \u201cAh, Coca-Cola. Is there nothing it can\u2019t do?\u201d<\/p>\n

He bolted into the corridor and took out three security cameras, an alarm relay and two evil flying space zebras as he ran down the hall. He neutralized two more security alarm systems by setting one of the Corellian energy weapons on overload, entered an elevator, and accessed the servo panel. The control panel burst into a shower of sparks.<\/p>\n

\u201cInput destination,\u201d the elevator asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cHakuna matata,\u201d he replied in perfect Corellian. The elevator complied, and whisked him down to the lower courtyard level. \u201cDamn…\u201d Blocking the alley was a young Corellian soldier, armed with some sort of disrupter weapon.<\/p>\n

Gillis thought for a moment. He could certainly use his formidable and deadly Tom-Tui martial art skills to take out the soldier, but this entire situation seemed to demand a different approach. He smiled, raced up a flight of stairs to a window, loudly tore open the shutters, and shouted, \u201cHallo! You down there! Hallo!\u201d<\/p>\n

The Corellian looked up, puzzled. \u201cAy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou there!\u201d Gillis shouted. \u201cWhat day is today?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Corellian scratched his head. \u201cToday? Why, Kadooment Day, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis clapped his hands together. \u201cKadooment Day! That means I haven\u2019t missed it! The spirits must have done it all in one night!\u201d Before the Corellian could ask a question, Gillis babbled on, \u201cTell me, do you know the poultry at the corner?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMon?\u201d the soldier asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cA remarkable, intelligent boy,\u201d Gillis babbled. \u201cDo you know if they\u2019ve sold the prized turkey in the window? Well, go and buy it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Indignant, the soldier snapped, \u201cWalk-er!\u201d (An ancient Corellian expression meaning, \u201cWhat the dickens are you talking about, Mon?\u201d This expression also translates as \u201cThe ghost who walks.\u201d An amazing language.)<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m in earnest!\u201d Gillis jabbered. \u201cGo and buy it! Come back in ten minutes and I\u2019ll give you a shilling! Come back in five and I\u2019ll give you half a crown!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, sir!\u201d the lad replied cheerfully, bolting for the nearest exit. In the time it took him to realize that a) The nearest poultry was some eighty kilometers distant; b) Turkeys were not indigenous to Corel; c) Shillings and Crowns were not forms of Corellian currency and d) This whole thing was obviously stupid, Gillis had bolted across the alley into the courtyard, grabbed a convenient rope, lassoed a chimney and swooped Tarzan-style into an alley leading to the exit. Whistling a happy tune, Gillis raced right into the barrel of a small hand-disrupter.<\/p>\n

\n

A few minutes later, McEntire landed the shuttle Lokki in a large forest outside Amasastokek. As he and Kyle made their way to the complex, they realized that people were shouting Gillis\u2019 name.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat brainless dweeb is trying to escape on his own!\u201d Kyle commented loudly. To McEntire\u2019s glare, he amended, \u201cHow brave of Captain Gillis to attempt escape!\u201d He began singing, \u201cBrave, brave Sir Bobby, he bravely ran away!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t know that, hormone-boy. We MUST verify that he has escaped.\u201d McEntire shuddered and thought about Gillis and hoped that Monica would be able to locate him and lead him to the rendezvous point before he was killed by one of the guards. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you start the diversion?\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle touched his earring, and his image wavered. Suddenly, he was dressed only in a white toga and holding a coconut filled with massage oil. \u201cDamn, wrong costume! This is for my date with Ensign Cindy Allenby tomorrow night!\u201d The image wavered again as McEntire made a firm decision that the writer of this chapter, indeed, was very bonkers. In a flash Kyle had become the an avenging angel. He wore form-fitting black and blue armor, and McEntire was startled to see the uniform actually catch fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cUp, up and away! Time to parrrrrrtttttyyy!\u201d Kyle bellowed as he rocketed into the sky. He hovered directly above the compound and shot a fireball at the ground. \u201cBlasphemers!\u201d he shouted in perfect Corellian. \u201cI am Snuffy-Fazoo, the prince of insufficient light, and your actual mileage may vary! I have come here today to tell you that the rangers had a homecoming in Harlem late last night, and have damned your foul plan of rebellion!\u201d<\/p>\n

The rebels froze and stared as Kyle zipped back and forth in the sky.<\/p>\n

\u201cEvil ones,\u201d he continued, \u201cthe questions before you today will decide the fate of this world! There are lights out tonight, trouble in the heartland. Know ye this: After automatic shutoff, spillage may occur, resulting in a hazardous condition!\u201d Suddenly, he caused pumpkins to appear. Each was carved with a hideous face that actually laughed as it plopped onto someone\u2019s head and burst apart, covering them with pumpkin-goo. \u201cOnly Linus holds the true faith! Only Linus knows the Great Pumpkin will appear! Look deep in your hearts, Corellian jellybeans! Are your pumpkin patches sincere?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood God,\u201d McEntire though as he looked up in horror, \u201che\u2019s a lunatic!\u201d But he had to admit the diversion was working. As Kyle went on and on and on and on, McEntire rushed into the complex. Drawing on his vast repository of undercover operations, he was easily able to make his way into the installation, past dozens of screaming people, and armed guards. He burst into the prison area and found a cell with the door blasted off.<\/p>\n

Noting that all of the other cells were empty, McEntire ran a tricorder over the door and frowned in puzzlement. \u201cCarbonated water, high fructose corn syrup and\/or sucrose, caramel color, phosphoric acid, natural flavors, caffeine… This was Bobby\u2019s cell, all right.\u201d<\/p>\n

Above, the avenging angel was screaming all sorts of nonsense, punctuating each bit of babble with an explosion, fireball, lighting bolt, water balloon, or other unusual special effect. As he gathered storm clouds around him and once again burst into flames, he shouted, \u201cI\u2019m fooling you and you don\u2019t like it! Save Ferris! Save Ferris! I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle\u2019s attention turned to a beautiful young Corellian woman who was waving to him. Unlike all the others who were fleeing \/ panicking \/ screaming \/ running, she seemed calm. And very beautiful. \u201cI\u2019ve got a date with the preacher\u2019s daughter…\u201d He reverted to his normal form and alighted next to her. \u201cYou wanted to talk to me, sweetie?\u201d he began as an introduction.<\/p>\n

The Corellian rebel sashayed over to him. \u201cI did. I admire your uniform, which highlights your muscles.\u201d<\/p>\n

Enthusiastically, Kyle ignored the chaos around him and smiled broadly as the woman continued, \u201cMy name is Tray\u2019Ceeray-ce and I would like to be intimate with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle grinned broadly as his hormones carbonated. \u201cAre all Corellian women this forward?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are. Tell me, are you a Corellian, child?\u201d<\/p>\n

Enthusiastically, Kyle replied, \u201cMa\u2019am, I am tonight!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would like to tell you my secret name.\u201d She drew him into a kiss, and in the same instant, ripped off his earring and stunned him with the weapon she\u2019d been concealing in her other hand.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cBaby, if you wanna be wild, you gotta lot to learn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMonica!\u201d Gillis was flabbergasted. \u201cMonica!\u201d He noticed that Monica was wearing a fez on her head. \u201cHow odd,\u201d he thought, \u201cMonica never wears a Fez. A fedora, maybe, but never a fez…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHello again, Captain. Sorry to stop you so abruptly, but you were about to race across a high frequency ionization security field.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis winced. \u201cNasty things, those. Hey, what are you doing on Corel?\u201d<\/p>\n

She holstered her weapon and motioned for him to follow him. \u201cI\u2019ve been working undercover for Captain McEntire,\u201d she replied. \u201cDoing… well, I guess you could call me one of the \u201cmechanics\u201d for the Starfleet Marines. Something\u2019s broken, McEntire sends me in to fix it. It\u2019s all hush-hush, of course. McEntire is here, and I\u2019m here to help. She opened her jacket to reveal a Starfleet communicator and activated it. \u201cBrandy to Young Elvis.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYoung Elvis,\u201d came the quick response. Gillis wanted to jump for joy when he heard David\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

Monica continued, \u201cStarchild acquired.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAcknowledged, Brandy. We just found his empty cell. Rendezvous at Lokki. Young Elvis out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine, thanks, David,\u201d Gillis mumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook,\u201d Monica said sharply, \u201cCaptain McEntire expected you to be in your cell. He risked his life to enter this compound and retrieve you. It was foolish of you to attempt escape once you had sent the distress message.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get a few things straight, bartender. One: I\u2019ve been held against my will on this planet for weeks\u2014so long, in fact, that it feels like at least two years. Two: I had no way of knowing if my signal was even intercepted or understood by anyone, let alone David. Three: I had to escape today. Aar-cu\u2019rY is supposed to make a big speech at the Kadooment festival, and the rebels are going to detonate a bomb and kill him and thousands of others. In addition, the head rebel guy, Uz\u2019Mun-dee, is about to show up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Monica bit her lip as a series of explosions detonated outside. \u201cMy orders are to get you to McEntire alive. You guys play hero on your own time. Let\u2019s go!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re taking me to the promised land?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Moving as quickly as possible, McEntire made his way to the shuttle and rendezvous point, and spotted Monica and Bobby.<\/p>\n

\u201cBobby!\u201d McEntire shouted joyously.<\/p>\n

As McEntire raced over to him, Gillis thought of a great Trek line to use. \u201cPlease David, not in front of…\u201d Suddenly, McEntire gave him such a fierce bear hug that he was literally lifted off the ground. \u201c{Cough!} the Corellians,\u201d he managed to gasp out.<\/p>\n

\u201cMon Ami!\u201d McEntire exclaimed with unabashed affection. \u201cDamn good to see you alive!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood to be seen, David! Thanks for coming back for me!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou would have done the same for me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Before Gillis could respond, the shuttle Lokki exploded in a fiery blast. As shuttle parts, electronic debris and old Daredevil comic books rained down, our heroes realized that a figure was emerging from the smoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain David Tiberious McEntire,\u201d the shrouded figure said.<\/p>\n

McEntire peered into the smoke and froze. \u201cYou!\u201d he exclaimed. \u201cYou can\u2019t possibly be here!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, but I am, Captain McEntire. And now, you will die.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire demanded, \u201cDonny Osmond?!!!? Donny Osmond? What in the name of the sacrilegious hydrophobic chipmunks are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy name is now Uz\u2019Mun-dee, Captain. I have looked very forward to meeting you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUz\u2019Mun-dee,\u201d McEntire repeated, his eyebrow raised. \u201cUzmondee. Osmondee. Of course. Osmond, D.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPrecisely,\u201d Uz\u2019Mun-dee replied. \u201cAnd now, I shall explain everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

The group obligingly sat on the ground and listened intently.<\/p>\n

Uz\u2019Mun-dee began, \u201cCaptain Gillis, do you remember when you first met David McEntire in high school back in 1979? Do you remember how he told you about the magic laser pen, and how he could control the weather, but Donny Osmond was blocking his powers?\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis was incredulous. \u201cOf course I do, but that was many years ago, and David was just joking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJoking?!\u201d Uz\u2019Mun-dee exploded. \u201cNo joke, my young friend! David McEntire has a very high psychic rating and he blocked all my attempts to take over Earth\u2014let alone have a comeback career! David McEntire destroyed me! No matter what I tried to do, he beat me to it. I wanted to own a store on Newbury Street, but he did that first! I wanted to play professional tennis, but it was McEntire who won the slot in the Olympics! I wanted to date Cindy Crawford, but she told me that she had never recovered from her breakup with\u2026 You guessed it, David McEntire! I wanted to go to Harvard, but my S.A.T. scores weren\u2019t high enough…\u201d His voice trailed off for a moment. \u201cOkay, that one wasn\u2019t his fault, but there were millions of other things he did to ruin my life! No matter what I wanted to do, you stopped me, David.\u201d<\/p>\n

He paused to make some bizarre gestures with his arms, then continued, \u201cAfter years of fighting you, I finally gave up. In 1992, I stowed away aboard a cryogenic space ship.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yeah,\u201d Monica mumbled, \u201cthis is getting more and more plausible all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am very serious,\u201d Uz\u2019Mun-dee said.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s also a little bit country,\u201d Gillis added.<\/p>\n

Monica crossed her arms. \u201cWait a minute. Earth history, particularly the history of United States entertainment in the late 20th century, is a hobby of mine,\u201d (read: contrived plot device to explain how Monica would know the following preposterously obscure fact) \u201c…and I KNOW that Donny Osmond was seen on Earth after 1992.\u201d<\/p>\n

Everyone looked around for a long moment, unsure of what to do next.<\/p>\n

Monica shook her head and pointed to Uz\u2019Mun-dee. \u201cThis couldn\u2019t be Donny Osmond, because I\u2019m positive he starred in a performance of \u201cJoseph and the amazing Technicolor dream coat\u201d in Boston in 1996.\u201d<\/p>\n

Helpfully, Uz\u2019Mun-dee interrupted, \u201cOh… him. No, uh, that wasn\u2019t me. That was, uh…\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis let out a very angry breath. \u201c…an exact duplicate of Donny Osmond created by a once in a billion shot combination of a purple solar flares, a space\/time warp and the unique energy signature of Boston on Tuesdays.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly!\u201d Uz\u2019Mun-dee exclaimed triumphantly. \u201cA pretender to my throne, who took my place in 1996 in that Boston play you mentioned, and then, uh… and then, uh…\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis was making wild gestures by this time. \u201cAnd THEN he lost his molecular cohesion through a freak accident involving a subspace collision with a festering cloud of anti-proton residue with the exact same quantum multidimensional pattern he had, which instantly destroyed him…\u201d He raised his voice and boomed, \u201c…BUT, BUT… All of which happened AFTER Donny Osmond was last seen on Earth!\u201d Eyes blazing, he spun around and demanded, \u201cOKAY???!!!!!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh, yeah, works for me, I guess,\u201d Monica mumbled.<\/p>\n

\u201cEver think of writing scripts for Voyager, Mon Ami?\u201d McEntire asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll the time, David. All the time. Sorry, Donny, you were saying?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUz\u2019Mun-dee. I was in cryogenic suspension for nearly three centuries, before my ship collided with a meandering swarm of cosmic pumpkins, and I crashed landed on the island of Abu-Taya on Corel. I liked Corel a lot; the villagers even liked my music.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn extremely primitive and paranoid culture,\u201d McEntire observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut when I visited the more advanced areas, I discovered that there was a thing called the United Federation of Planets, and they wanted Corel to join. I had no problem with that until I found out that even three hundred years later, that very same David McEntire of the 20th century was Supreme Commander of the Starfleet Marines, and head of the move to get Corel to join the Federation. At the same time, I noted that my psychic powers had nearly faded. I was still charismatic, good looking and a natural born leader, but my psi rating was almost zero. I think that would be about the time I dyed my hair blue and started wearing these outlandish black capes and florescent purple tights.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was just about to ask you about that part,\u201d Gillis said.<\/p>\n

Uz\u2019Mun-dee giggled. \u201cCasting aside all my upbringing, I decided that David McEntire was clearly the ultimate force of evil in the universe and had to be destroyed, and this Federation thing had to be stopped.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis brightened. \u201cOh, that explains it! You wanted to strike out at David, but he\u2019s hard to reach, being Supreme Commander of the Starfleet Marines and all, so you targeted me, his best friend, knowing David would come to help me and then you could lure him to his doom!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPrecisely,\u201d Uz\u2019Mun-dee said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo that explains why the entire planet hates me and has been making my life miserable!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, they hate you for many other reasons besides being McEntire\u2019s best friend, but that\u2019s not important right now. Would you like to hear the rest of my story?\u201d To the collective nod, he continued, \u201cDisenchanted, I began wandering the planet. One night, I was drowning my sorrows in a little bar on the western bay that serves a hundred ships a day. Auda was walking in, I was walking out. We went back inside, had a few drinks, but all he kept talking about was his plan to conquer the government. Auda was pretty unbalanced anyway, and it was easy to sway him my way. Unfortunately, he got a little carried away.\u201d To elaborate, he made the \u201ccrazy\u201d gesture with his finger.<\/p>\n

\u201cCarried away?!\u201d Gillis hooted. \u201cDonny\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUz\u2019Mun-dee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2014the planet Corel is falling apart! Auda has organized terrorist attacks, bombings, petitions to film a sequel to Endless Love, and is in general causing as much chaos as possible. He\u2019s trying to destroy the very democratic fabric that has held this planet together!\u201d<\/p>\n

Uz\u2019Mun-dee shrugged nonchalantly. \u201cA regrettable situation, to be sure, but very necessary. The evil of David McEntire must end here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angrily, McEntire began, \u201cThe political geostructure of an entire planet is about to collapse, chaos and anarchy are about to ensue, the consequences of which will dramatically and negatively alter the future of this sector, and all you can say…\u201d His voice trailed off as he decided that a different approach was in order.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook,\u201d McEntire continued, ignoring the vendor trying to sell him a Kadooment Day T-shirt, \u201cI have never had psychic powers. Never. I have this Betazoid ambassador from the Federation council on my ship, and she\u2019s been a pain in my ass for months now. \u2018I can feel your annoyance at my presence, Captain.\u2019 \u2018He\u2019s hiding something, Captain.\u2019 \u2018That was a very provocative thought about your wife, Captain.\u2019 Hells bells, Donny\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUz\u2019Mun-dee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2014don\u2019t you think if I had psychic powers she would\u2019ve noticed? Don\u2019t you think I would have used my alleged powers to turn her into a cube or something?\u201d<\/p>\n

Uz\u2019Mun-dee\u2019s eye\u2019s widened in horror. \u201cYou\u2019re gerrymandering. Prevaricating. You… you… are fibbing! Back in high school, you often said I was blocking your powers. And I have proof. My psimedulla oblongata detected cerebra alpha wave emissions from the your residence in Boston\u2019s Back Bay! Such a high level of extrasensory telepathic supersensory recognizant particles could only have been generated by you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNaturally,\u201d Gillis mumbled, but McEntire blinked with apparent comprehension, then palmed a tricorder. \u201cI just thought of something. Computer, tie in to Enterprise historical database. Display a readout of any anomalous readings in the theta cerebra wave band around Earth from AD 1979 through 1983.\u201d The device made a little bleep sound, and Uz\u2019Mun-dee peered to see the screen. \u201cAh, here we go,\u201d McEntire said. \u201cLook at this, Donny. According\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUz\u2019Mun-dee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever,\u201d McEntire rejoined icily. \u201cAccording to this, a cloud of two-dimensional beings flew through Earth\u2019s orbit in late 1979 through early 1981. Their presence, as evidenced by a perfectly dreadful \u201cNext Generation\u201d episode called \u201cThe Loss,\u201d would seem to cause psychic\/emphatic abilities in meta-humans to be blocked. They would have been attracted to the highest concentration of gamma t-wave protocerebellumium emissions on Earth, which of course is Boston\u2019s Prudential tower, in the Back Bay, a few blocks from where I used to live. That explains why you thought I was responsible.\u201d<\/p>\n

He showed Uz\u2019Mun-dee the readout and concluded, \u201cThese little beings caused your power loss, not me.\u201d He frowned at the scrolling readout. \u201cGreat Scott! The little two-dimensional beings are orbiting Corel…\u201d He verified the impulse drive signature and added, \u201cDonny, they had been in Earth\u2019s asteroid belt for over a decade when they rode the wake of your spaceship and followed you here to Corel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would explain why my powers faded even after I left Earth.\u201d Uz\u2019Mun-dee\u2019s shoulders sank. \u201cThen, all of this…\u201d He buried his head in his hands, \u201c…was for nothing. Nothing!\u201d He raised his head and shouted, \u201cNOTHING! NOOOOTTHHHHHHHIIINNNNGGGGG!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat statement is not entirely true, Uz\u2019Mun-dee.\u201d<\/p>\n

The group spun as Auda (who was brandishing an extremely nasty looking energy weapon) appeared behind the shuttle. \u201cI have so… wanted to meet you, Captain,\u201d Auda began, \u201c…the great warrior, fearless hero, Starfleet legend, the victor of a thousand battles…\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis stepped forward. \u201cSpare me the pleasantries, Auda, we\u2019ve already m\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

He was cut off as Auda shoved him aside and approached McEntire. \u201cThis is indeed a great honor, Captain McEntire, to meet you at last. \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight…\u201d McEntire replied uneasily.<\/p>\n

Auda gestured with his weapon. \u201cBut, as much as I would enjoy speaking with you about battle tactics, the political climate of this sector and our shared interest in fine cooking, there are matters to attend to.\u201d He turned to Donny Osmond. \u201cUz\u2019Mun-dee, you are a traitor to the rebel movement.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAuda,\u201d Uz\u2019Mun-dee replied firmly, taking a step forward, \u201cthis must end. I simply wished to rally the Corellian people to resist join the Federation as a step toward destroying David McEntire, not to kill thousands of innocent people on Corel. I was wrong, wrong about everything! Wrong, wrong, wrong! David McEntire isn\u2019t the enemy and neither is the Federation!\u201d<\/p>\n

Their attention turned to a young Corellian rebel who was carrying the prone form of Kyle on her shoulders. \u201cMaster Auda,\u201d she said, \u201cthis one was creating a diversion to mask Captain Gillis\u2019 escape. I have disabled his weapon,\u201d she tossed Kyle\u2019s earring to a the ground, and unceremoniously dumped Kyle next to it.<\/p>\n

Auda nodded toward her. \u201cTray\u2019Ceeray-ce, you have done well. Dismissed.\u201d<\/p>\n

As she left, Gillis commented, \u201cSomething very familiar about her.\u201d He then looked at Kyle, did a triple-take, and said, \u201cDon\u2019t tell me, Mon Ami… A terrible accident involving my DNA and a Xerox machine.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire smiled. \u201cSomething like that. Bobby, that\u2019s Kyle… and it\u2019s a long story.\u201d<\/p>\n

Uz\u2019Mun-dee turned toward Auda. \u201cThis was a huge mistake. I order you to stop this revolution now.\u201d He barely got the words out before he crumpled to the ground in a burst of red light.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think not,\u201d Auda said. \u201cIt has been an honor to serve you, Uz\u2019Mun-dee. But the Bob-Be-Gones need a leader with fire, and you have demonstrated you lack the spine to continue. I dismiss you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d McEntire exclaimed in horror as Auda again fired the weapon into Uz\u2019Mun-dee\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain,\u201d Monica intoned flatly, \u201cDonny… is dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou Corellian bastard,\u201d McEntire said as he stumbled backward. \u201cYou killed my… my… You killed Donny Osmond!\u201d<\/p>\n

Auda smiled a toothy grin. \u201cI shall be departing now. All of our rebels are now in orbit, ready to converge on Enterprise. With over two hundred ships, your pitiful starship does not stand a chance, but I should like to supervise the destruction of the Enterprise myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

A light crossed McEntire\u2019s face. \u201cAll of the rebel alliance is in orbit?\u201d he asked carefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat frightens you, does it not?\u201d Auda said, rubbing his hands together. \u201cYes, Captain, all of them. Oh, there are still many sympathizers to the cause on Corel and Pho\u2019Ebe, and this facility is well-guarded, but all of my rebels will destroy the Enterprise, and then swoop down on Corel and establish the new order.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire fought the smile that threatened to cross his lips.<\/p>\n

Auda motioned with his weapon. \u201cPlace your weapons and communication devices on the ground, please.\u201d<\/p>\n

The group complied, and Auda vaporized the devices in a flash. \u201cI shall return for you. I would not encourage you to attempt escape, as this complex is surrounded by a one hundred gigawatt magnetic shield all the way to the Meeko Cliffs. In addition, the outside walls are mined and littered with banana peels.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cY\u2019know, Auda, you seem a lot more mellow that when we last saw you,\u201d Gillis commented, stealing another look at his unconscious twin.<\/p>\n

Auda shrugged. \u201cThe moment of my arrest at your trial? Yes. It was… an ill-planned attack. But today all of my plans bear fruit, and I shall rule this world. Beware, Federation dregs. When we again shall meet, I shall enjoy killing with my bare hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis smiled. \u201cIt has a more personal touch, that way. You know, Auda, I don\u2019t know what makes you tick, but I hope it\u2019s a time-bomb.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Auda raced away, McEntire and Monica reached into their jackets and retrieved their real phasers and communicators. \u201cThat was a great idea, substituting cheap Creation convention Star Trek props for our weapons, Captain,\u201d said Monica.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot cheap. They cost $400 each at the Creation no-minimum bid auction.\u201d McEntire opened a communicator. \u201cConn, Captain,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cConn, aye. Black here, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cConfirm scrambled signal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cScramble confirmed, sir. Hammer is geostationary over Amasastokek as ordered.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStandby. Tie in. McEntire to Enterprise.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cScotty here, Captain.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGentleman, the situation has changed. Here are your new orders.\u201d For a few moments, McEntire explained his plan, then finally closed the channel and walked over to Uz\u2019Mun-dee.<\/p>\n

Gillis looked up. \u201cHe gave his life to save ours.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire scratched his head. \u201cWell, not exactly, Bobby. Auda shot him, and Donny Osmond has been responsible for all of our problems on Corel. Not to mention he wanted to kill me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNonetheless, he wanted to undo the damage he caused.\u201d He took off his jacket and covered Donny\u2019s body. \u201cRest in peace, Donny. May tomorrow be a perfect day, may you find love and laughter along the way, may God keep you in his tender care, till he brings us together again…\u201d He stopped as he realized that Donny was moving.<\/p>\n

\u201cGolly, that hurt,\u201d Uz\u2019Mun-dee said.<\/p>\n

Gillis scratched his head. \u201cUmmm… Donny, Auda hit you with a lethal blast, twice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Donny shakily got to his feet. \u201cYes, my young friend, that it true. But my mental powers are still sufficient that I was able to shield my essence. I regret the inconvenience I\u2019ve caused.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDonny,\u201d Gillis said, crossing his arms, \u201cnot to undermine the fact that you\u2019ve just come back from the dead AND reformed your evil ways, given severe credibility to your possession of psychic powers\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2014not to mention straining this story\u2019s credibility like a piece of taffy,\u201d Monica added pleasantly. \u201cJust so you know, this all makes about as much sense as a bowling helmet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Uz\u2019Mon-dee ignored that and drew a breath. \u201cForgive me. To suddenly realize your entire plan of revenge was based on a mistake is a jarring experience… Captain McEntire, it would seem that I have done you a disservice. I humbly…\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire made a cutting gesture with his hand. \u201cSpare me the apology, Uz\u2019Mon-dee. Just help us fix this mess.\u201d<\/p>\n

Uz\u2019Mon-dee nodded. \u201cYes, I can do that. I ask that I be allowed to remain on Corel. I MUST make amends for my evil ways. Although the rebels have sworn an oath to Auda, they still believe that Auda takes his orders from me. I may be able to stop the attack, and at the very least, speak to the people and try to quell the riots.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBoy that was fast,\u201d Kyle mumbled, rubbing his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is the last chapter,\u201d McEntire observed. \u201cWe do have to wrap things up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but you introduce Donny Osmond this late into the story as the main protagonist, bent on killing David, and then he says I\u2019m sorry and all is forgiven?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded. \u201cOsmond\u2019s not evil, just misguided. Auda\u2019s the real problem; Osmond was just used by him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Gillis said, \u201cBut Donny Osmond IS the reason the entire planet Corel hates me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBobby,\u201d McEntire replied tiredly, \u201cwe\u2019ve been through this before. The planet hates you for many, many reasons.\u201d To Gillis\u2019 burning glare, McEntire quickly added, \u201cDid I mention that it\u2019s really good to see you alive? Anyway, I accept that Donny Osmond sincerely wants to help us. Besides, if he\u2019s lying, I can call down enough firepower to blast his component atoms to the stars faster than you can say, \u2018She\u2019s a little bit rock and roll.\u2019 You have a problem with that, Kyle?\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle shrugged. \u201cIt\u2019s your planet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Monica walked over to McEntire. \u201cCaptain, I will escort Uz\u2019Mon-dee and verify that he makes good on his word.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery well. Will you be all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Monica replied, \u201cOf course. I\u2019ll do the \u201cpatch-up\u201d work for as long as necessary and then head to my next assignment. See you around the galaxy, boss.\u201d She and Uz\u2019Mun-dee raced away.<\/p>\n

\n

Within ten minutes, McEntire, Kyle, and Gillis made their way through the fracas to the opposite end of the complex, and within a half-hour arrived on the far side and Meeko Cliffs.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoly shit,\u201d Gillis breathed. He\u2019d seen the Meeko Cliffs before, but now, minutes from death, they were absolutely terrifying.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to jump,\u201d McEntire explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid, that statement mangles reality to such a preposterous degree that I have no humorous response to it. But in case you missed it, this is a nearly half mile drop onto razor sharp boulders. Of course, the water pressure will probably crush us like bugs before the screeching eels have us for lunch…\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire grabbed Gillis\u2019 shoulders and burned a look into his eyes. \u201cListen very carefully, my disbelieving little friend. Jumping into this chasm may be an unnatural act, but we ARE going to jump. We WILL be all right. Now, you can take the word of your very best friend who traveled across half the quadrant and three centuries without gaining a single frequent flyer mile or…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere they are!\u201d a voice shouted.<\/p>\n

They spun and saw dozens of armed rebels headed toward them.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, this sucks,\u201d Gillis commented insightfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain Gillis!\u201d McEntire shouted. \u201cSnap out of it! Jump! Kyle! We must jump!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid, I can\u2019t do it,\u201d Gillis said.<\/p>\n

Kyle turned to McEntire. \u201cIf you ask me\u2014and you haven\u2019t\u2014I have to agree with my daddy over there. This idea bites.\u201d He turned the charred remains of his earring over in his hand. \u201cI can\u2019t fly until I repair this thing, and even if I could, I couldn\u2019t take all three of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

A laser blast exploded above them and McEntire ducked. Impulsively he shouted, \u201cThere\u2019s no time for this!\u201d grabbed Kyle, and shoved him over the edge.<\/p>\n

\u201cSonnnnnnnnn offfff aaaa bitttttttttcccccchhhhhhh!\u201d Kyle bellowed as he plummeted down the abyss, all the while demonstrating his healthy respect for the universal laws of gravity.<\/p>\n

Gillis nearly fell over. \u201cYou kill\u2014\u201d he stammered, \u201c…you killed him.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire shouted, \u201cHe\u2019ll be fine and so will we! The magnetic shield ends here! Now, please. PLEASE! Jump!\u201d In one glance, he tried to convey years of friendship and trust. \u201cBobby, sometimes we have to take a leap of faith.\u201d To emphasize that point, he grabbed Gillis and hurled him into the chasm, then followed him a moment later.<\/p>\n

As their speed increased to terminal velocity, Gillis feared he would lose consciousness\u2014he certainly wanted to be awake when he got to Heaven so he could punch David unconscious repeatedly.<\/p>\n

As the jagged rocks rushed toward him, there was a burst of blue light\u2014and they plopped gently onto a metal platform. Gillis was the first to stand. \u201cWow, Heaven is much different than I imagined\u2014this looks a lot like a transporter room. But more seagulls and water than a regular transporter room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBridge, Captains McEntire, Gillis, and their guest are safely aboard.\u201d the transporter operator said. \u201cWe picked up these animals and water during transport, sir. I\u2019ll beam that back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t the Enterprise,\u201d Gillis commented.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Captain, it isn\u2019t.\u201d As a yeomen raced up and placed a burgundy Starfleet command jacket over his shoulders, McEntire addressed the transporter chief. \u201cLieutenant Dugan, arrange quarters for our guest.\u201d He turned to Kyle. \u201cI\u2019ll ask you to remain there until this is settled.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kyle looked over the woman behind the transporter console and winked at her. \u201cThat shouldn\u2019t be a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire gently grabbed his arm. \u201cKyle, she\u2019s a Starfleet Marine and knows at least thirty ways to kill you that wouldn\u2019t even get her uniform dirty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell then,\u201d Kyle amended abruptly, \u201cdoes my quarters at least get the Playboy channel?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire turned on his heel and he and Gillis raced down the corridor.<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid! Where the hell are we?\u201d Gillis asked.<\/p>\n

McEntire stopped in mid stride. \u201cCaptain Gillis, I\u2019ll ask you not to refer to me as \u201cDavid\u201d while I\u2019m in command of this vessel.\u201d Almost as an afterthought, he added, \u201cWelcome aboard War Hammer.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

USS WAR HAMMER
\nSTARFLEET MARINE FLAGSHIP
\nNCC-1812<\/strong><\/p>\n

As they raced for the main bridge, dozens of Starfleet Marines in jet black and navy blue uniforms jumped to attention. Gillis noticed that this was a very different ship\u2014while it was clearly a Starfleet vessel, it was definitely not built for science and exploration. There was no carpeting, plants or any of the other more \u201chomey\u201d aspects of the Enterprise. \u201cSince when does Starfleet call ships War Hammer?\u201d Gillis demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is a Starfleet Marine dreadnought, Captain. My dreadnought.\u201d As they burst onto the bridge, Commander John Black stood up from the command chair. \u201cSupreme Commander on the bridge!\u201d Everyone on the bridge jumped to electrified attention. \u201cCaptain McEntire, sir! Relinquishing command to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s John Black doing here?\u201d Gillis asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have the conn,\u201d McEntire barked as he snapped the command jacket in place over his black commando fatigues and took the center seat.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain has the conn!\u201d came Black\u2019s quick reply. \u201cSir, the first wave of rebel swoopers will be here in four minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCrew: As you were,\u201d McEntire instructed. \u201cFull impulse, Mr. Nemero. Initiate Hammer. Engage cloak.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCloak?\u201d Gillis asked deafeningly.<\/p>\n

McEntire began keying in data into a small pad on the arm of the chair. \u201cCommunications, put me on hailing frequencies. Corellian rebel fleet: This is Captain David McEntire, the Supreme Commander of the Starfleet Marines. Your actions are criminal. You are surrounded by superior Federation forces, and will lower your shields and be beamed directly to the detention facility on Corel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think not,\u201d came the quick reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cChand\u2019Leros!\u201d Gillis shouted. \u201cYou can\u2019t win! You must surrend\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis suddenly realized that the entire bridge was silent and that everyone was staring at him. He felt McEntire\u2019s warning glare\u2014there was no question whatsoever who was in charge here.<\/p>\n

McEntire stood. \u201cEx-O has the conn.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have the conn,\u201d Black said, quickly slipping back into the command chair.<\/p>\n

McEntire gestured for Gillis to follow him into a sparse office off the bridge. As the doors swooshed shut, McEntire began, \u201cBobby, I\u2019m going to take into account the ordeal you\u2019ve just suffered on Corel and grant you some leeway, and I have no desire to embarrass you in front of my crew. But you\u2019re out of line here. You are now on the flagship of the Starfleet Marines. My flagship.\u201d He punched some buttons and the computer obligingly displayed the ship\u2019s specifications.<\/p>\n

Gillis frowned intently at the screen, then looked at McEntire. \u201cPresley class? War Hammer is a Presley class starship?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d McEntire confirmed. \u201cThis ship is the King.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis rolled his eyes and continued reading. \u201cThree nacelles? Warp 9.5? Ten phaser banks? One thousand photon torpedoes? Phaser cannon? Triple neutronium shielding?\u201d He concluded the obligatory exposition and turned toward McEntire, adding, \u201c…and a functional cloaking device.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire folded his arms. \u201cYour point?\u201d<\/p>\n

Unruffled, Gillis continued, \u201cThis ship is a flying breach of the Starfleet charter. We\u2019re explorers, dammit, and your War Hammer is a military machine.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire was losing his patience. \u201cCaptain, like it or not, Starfleet IS the military, and you yourself have been in enough space battles to recognize that. The Starfleet Marines MUST operate beyond the laws of the Federation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBobby, you haven\u2019t been there and seen what I\u2019ve seen. Orion massacres. Tholian treachery. Pirate raids. Slaughter and mass-murder. Wanton destruction on a cosmic scale! I\u2019ve battled the venomous bubble-people of Spica-9 and lived to tell about it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid, I\u2019ve just always felt that Starfleet\u2019s goal to explore strang\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire\u2019s eye\u2019s burned. \u201cDon\u2019t quote dreams to me! Let me be very clear on this. This isn\u2019t some bachelor party or joyride beyond the warp barrier. Two hundred Corellian bad guys are about to try to take out the Enterprise. Civil war is about to destroy Corel. Millions of lives could be lost. Using War Hammer, I am going to prevent that. And on this ship, my word is LAW.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDavid…\u201d<\/p>\n

Only years of knowing the man made Gillis realize that McEntire was getting extremely angry. His teeth clenched, McEntire continued quietly, \u201cWe are here to preserve democracy, not practice it. You and I will present a united front to the crew. If you have a problem with that…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo problem…\u201d Gillis paused. \u201cSo why is John Black here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJohn Black has been my second in command of the Starfleet Marines for the past decade.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis stammered, \u201cYou had an undercover marine on the Enterprise? Why didn\u2019t you tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire gave him a very bemused look. \u201cBecause as Supreme\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2014Commander of the damn Starfleet Marines, yeah, I know your title! Do you have to keep pasting it in my face?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire ignored that. \u201c…I have learned to prepare for every contingency. Black\u2019s my best marine and a hell of an engineer. \u201c<\/p>\n

Gillis was silent for a long moment, and his attention turned to the dedication plaque mounted on the far wall. \u201cUt Veniant Omnes? My Greek\u2019s a little rusty, David. What does \u2018Ut Veniant Omnes\u2019 mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Latin, Captain. It translates to \u2018Let them all come.\u2019 I chose it; a kick-ass motto for a kick-ass ship. Bobby, I need to know if you\u2019re with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m always with you, David.\u201d Gillis frowned. \u201cLook, I just wish for a more ideal universe, I guess. But you\u2019re right, we need War Hammer now. I guess I just forget every now and then what it really means for you to be Supreme Commander. I may not subscribe to your methods, but I\u2019m sure they save a lot of lives.\u201d He sighed heavily. \u201cI was out of line and I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire let out a small breath of relief, then smiled. \u201cForget it.\u201d He offered Gillis his hand. \u201cFriends?\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis shook his hand. \u201cAlways.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBy the way, it\u2019s damn good to have you back. Now, shall we end this Corel thing once and for all?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

The Enterprise was burning in space.<\/p>\n

Her port nacelle had been sheared off and was spinning wildly away, leaking coolant and plasma fire. Much of the secondary hull was destroyed, and the saucer section was a mass of burning metal.<\/p>\n

Auda joined the swoopers and hit a communications button. \u201cChand\u2019Leros, what is the condition of Enterprise?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeader, we have crippled the Starfleet vessel and have reserved the honor of final killing blow to you, as instructed.\u201d<\/p>\n

The communicator squelched, \u201cCorellian fleet! This is Captain Montgomery Scott of the starship Enterprise. We surrender! Hold ya fire! Our ship has a warp core breach in progress and more than half my crew is dead. I am the only one alive on the bridge. Repeat: We surrend\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEnterprise!\u201d Auda interrupted, \u201cWe cheerfully reject your pathetic pleas for mercy. My weapons will reduce you to plasma! A new day dawns for Corel! The tyranny of the Federation\u2019s bloody legacy ends now. I advise you to make peace with your gods.\u201d<\/p>\n

The other rebel ships withdrew as Auda initialized a tremendous firing sequence and directed his sleek craft at the crippled starship. As he reached maximum speed, he pressed the target button, and a lethal volley of energy burst from his ship and raced toward the Enterprise, only to be dissipated like it was made of sand.<\/p>\n

The Enterprise was gone.<\/p>\n

It had not exploded or disintegrated, and the warp core had not breached. The ship had simply winked out of existence and Auda\u2019s lethal energy blast had done the same.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is happening here?!\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n

Directly ahead, space begin to shimmer, and Auda just barely made out the alien language and the markings \u201cNCC-1812 WAR HAMMER\u201d before his ship collided with a very large vessel and exploded like a Roman candle.<\/p>\n

As Auda\u2019s pulverized vessel faded to nothingness, a huge ship materialized in full glory. War Hammer\u2019s array of weapons glowed to life as a rainbow colored burst of light streaked into the sector, and resolved itself into the undamaged starship Enterprise.<\/p>\n

\n

Aboard War Hammer, the bridge was ablaze with activity. Gillis worked a terminal and announced, \u201cProjector disengaged.\u201d He hit a button and added, \u201cComputer, store damaged Enterprise program.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood work, Captain Gillis,\u201d McEntire said. He hit a comm button. \u201cScotty, your status?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUSS Enterprise stands ready to assist you,\u201d Scotty announced proudly.<\/p>\n

\u201cSpeed of lighting, roar of thunder! Underdog, Underdog!\u201d Yeldarb chimed.<\/p>\n

War Hammer\u2019s communications officer signaled McEntire. \u201cAar-cu\u2019rY on hailing frequency, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded. \u201cOn screen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain McEntire! We\u2019ve been monitoring,\u201d the Corellian leader began.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe rebels refuse to surrender, Leader Aar-cu\u2019rY. We may have to open fire.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey refuse to talk to me as well.\u201d Aar-cu\u2019rY bit his lip. \u201cCaptain, do what you must…\u201d He froze. \u201cBy the Zotz! Is that Captain Gillis?\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded. \u201cAffirmative, we rescued him from the rebels just a short time ago. He has learned that the rebels plan to destroy the amphitheater with a bomb during your speech there during the Kadooment festivities.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Corellian leader blanched. \u201cCaptain Gillis, you have saved countless lives!\u201d As Gillis bowed his head in respect to the Corellian leader (but wisely kept his big mouth shut), Aar-cu\u2019rY continued, \u201cWe shall send a team in to locate the bomb\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLeader, with all respect, that\u2019s simply too dangerous. Our scanners have finally located the bomb and our transporters are locked onto it.\u201d He checked a readout. \u201cEnergizing now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cConn, Transport!\u201d Lieutenant Dugan\u2019s agitated voice crackled over the comm system, \u201cthe rebels are blocking our signal! Sir, they\u2019ve acquired the package and are rerouting to the skies over Corel! They are attempting materialization!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTransport, Conn. Altitude and type of weapon?\u201d McEntire snapped.<\/p>\n

\u201cThree thousand kilometers above surface! Weapon type: Solium incendiary device, yield approximately one kiloton.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo danger of electromagnetic pulse then. Captain Gillis, can our phasers reach Corellian orbit from here?\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis was inclined to say no, but this wasn\u2019t the Enterprise. He quickly accessed the information he needed and said, \u201cWar Hammer can do it, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire turned back to the viewer. \u201cLeader Aar-cu\u2019rY, you might see some strange weather patterns across Corel for the next few hours, but your ecosphere will be safe. Transport, Conn. Boost the matter gain, begin materialization sequence. Captain Gillis, target and destroy the package.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the rebel bomb exploded high in the Corellian sky, the communications officer stammered, \u201cCaptain McEntire… The rebel fleet is picking up a transmission from… from… from…\u201d He paused. \u201cSir, I swear to God I\u2019m not bucking for dismissal based on psychological problems, but Donny Osmond is calling the rebels!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCalm yourself, Mr. Cameron. That is Donny Osmond. Let\u2019s hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The speakers crackled and Uz\u2019Mun-dee\u2019s voice filled the air. \u201cThis is Uz\u2019Mun-dee to the Corellian rebel fleet: I order you to cease hostilities against the Federation, return to Corel and surrender to the authorities.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another speaker crackled, and Chand\u2019Leros shouted, \u201cIgnore that order! Uz\u2019Mun-dee is demented and is being coerced by the Federation! He is a traitor to the\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d pay real money if he\u2019d shut up,\u201d McEntire commented. \u201cCan we jam that?\u201d he asked communications.<\/p>\n

\u201cNegative, sir,\u201d came the quick reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, at least mute it. Tactical on screen!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOn screen,\u201d Gillis replied crisply. \u201cHalf of the rebels have powered down weaps and are returning to Corel, Captain.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cVery well. Mr. Cameron, alert Aar-cu\u2019rY to provide them with landing instructions. Put the following message on a repeat loop and continue to broadcast. Corellian rebels: Surrender and we will cease fire.\u201d He turned to Black. \u201cEngage the hammer.\u201d<\/p>\n

The MASTER SITUATION monitor displayed the words, \u201cBye-bye Johnny, Johnny bye-bye\u201d as a massive cannon on the underbelly of the primary hull glowed bright scarlet, and a tremendously large burst of energy erupted, seemingly in all directions. Like a machine gun, tremendous pulses of rapid fire shot out and targeted the Corellian rebel fleet. Chand\u2019Leros\u2019 ship was the first to be vaporized as each hit tore through the rebel swooper shields like they weren\u2019t even there and destroyed them in a flash. Ship after ship exploded into bright molecular fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cWeaps, hold your fire!\u201d McEntire commanded. \u201cTo the rebel fleet, this is McEntire aboard War Hammer. Fifty-four of your swoopers have been destroyed in our initial salvo. Surrender and lower your shields.\u201d<\/p>\n

The communications system squawked a reply in Corellian that the universal translator transliterated into \u201cScrew you!\u201d and the remaining rebel ships regrouped and converged on Enterprise.<\/p>\n

\n

The Enterprise phasers picked off several of the swoopers, but they continued to converge like a swarm of angry hornets.<\/p>\n

\u201cReturn fire!\u201d Scotty yelled.<\/p>\n

Another hit took out main power as the next wave of rebel swoopers flew at Enterprise and fired. As crimson emergency lights illuminated the bridge, the voice of Ensign Allenby filled the bridge. \u201cCaptain! Engineering reports four causalities! Main inducer down!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPort nacelle is buckling!\u201d Seaborn exclaimed.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, there was a flash of light as one of the aft consoles burst into flames as Seaborn shouted, \u201cDamn! We\u2019ve just lost the weapons computer!\u201d<\/p>\n

His place was on the bridge, but it killed Scotty not be in engineering at a time like this. He bolted to a console and shouted, \u201cAllenby, number four inertial dampener shows thirty seconds from failing. Bypass the primary field inducer!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye, sir!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cComputer: Transfer engineering Ops to this console, authorization Scott omega five!\u201d To the confirmation bleep, Scotty reprogrammed the initialization sequence and brought up a schematic of the starship. Suppressing curses, he announced, \u201cODN bypass to secondary GNDN array now. Rerouting auxiliary power through the secondary emitters! Bypassing all non-essential systems \u2019an transfer to shields! Phaser emitters back on line! Return fire, all banks!\u201d<\/p>\n

The Enterprise phasers lovingly caressed the enemy ships, blowing them out of the sky, but more and more swoopers appeared as each one was destroyed.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain!\u201d Drebin shouted. \u201cTen swoopers on a collision course with the main deflector!\u201d He looked up in horror. \u201cToo many to target before they collide!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cResonance burst!\u201d Scotty yelled. \u201cNow!\u201d<\/p>\n

The order came so quickly that Drebin didn\u2019t have time to be incompetent. His fingers danced over the keyboard as he rerouted circuits and plasma relays and instructed the deflector to do as Scott had instructed. In a moment, the main deflector glowed a bright silver-blue before a tremendous bolt of energy discharge erupted and demolished the Corellian rebels.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine job, Lad!\u201d Scotty cheered. \u201cThey\u2019re backing off!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain Scott!\u201d Seaborn shouted. \u201cWar Hammer\u2019s number eight shield is gone, and two swoopers are making a strafing run for that section of the ship! The swoopers have disabled their fusion stabilizers and will breach when they impact!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHard about! Channel all remaining power into shields and bring us directly between the swoopers and War Hammer!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTop Gun!\u201d Yeldarb whooped as he rolled the Enterprise and burst forward. Enterprise intercepted the swoopers just moments before they would have collided with War Hammer\u2019s vulnerable section of hull. The swoopers smashed against the Enterprise hull, a clever move designed to reuse the same special effect sequence from moments before.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you Enterprise!\u201d McEntire shouted over the comm.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust returning\u2019 the favor, Captain!\u201d came Scotty\u2019s reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cIncoming!\u201d Black shouted.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll say this for them, they\u2019re consistent,\u201d McEntire said under his breath as the remaining swoopers grouped into another strafing run toward War Hammer and Enterprise. He leapt from his chair to electrified attention, his fist clenched. \u201cCry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!\u201d<\/p>\n

War Hammer soared into the fire fight, cannon blazing, and took out all but nine of the swoopers in an impressive display of fireworks. Gillis fired twenty torpedoes that detonated in a string under the remaining rebel ships. At the same time, Scotty ordered a second volley of torpedoes launched into the explosion. The rebels never had a chance.<\/p>\n

McEntire pointed to the scattering debris the view screen. \u201cSo it is written. Let it be done,\u201d he said firmly. The space between Enterprise and War Hammer was empty except for a glowing field of white hot metal that was slowly fading to black.<\/p>\n

\u201cMcEntire at Corel! Black velvet in that little boy\u2019s voice!\u201d Yeldarb proclaimed triumphantly over the comm system from the Enterprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cAar-cu\u2019rY on screen, Captain,\u201d Cameron said.<\/p>\n

McEntire rose and straightened his tunic. \u201cLeader Aar-cu\u2019rY, the Corellian rebel movement has been destroyed. On behalf of the Federation, I offer an apology that many of them could not have been captured.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey made that choice, Captain. Many of the rebels have landed and surrendered and more are arriving each moment.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire\u2019s eye\u2019s darted across a small control panel. \u201cLeader, our scanners indicate that the explosion of the rebel bomb has affected atmospheric conditions and meteorology across the planet. Estimated cloud cover of Corel is 78.6 per cent, and you should see some severe rain over the next few hours before the bomb\u2019s effects dissipate.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt matters not, Captain. The celebration in the streets is amazing! Although it rains across our planet frequently, it almost never rains on Kadooment Day. Despite the heavy rain storm, the people are coming out to celebrate! This is unheard of\u2014it rained on Kadooment Day, and they came out anyway!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA glorious day,\u201d McEntire agreed.<\/p>\n

Aar-cu\u2019rY continued, \u201cYour actions today have ensured that democracy will continue on Corel. Your name, and the names of your officers, will be read by Corellians for generations as heroes who saved us from ourselves in one of our darkest hours. I have spoken with Uz\u2019Mun-dee and have assured him he will not be prosecuted as long as he works to undo the damage he caused.\u201d He smiled gratefully and sincerely. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re very welcome,\u201d McEntire replied. \u201cDo you require assistance on Corel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, the rebel leaders are dead, and their sympathizers on the planet will be dealt with fairly.\u201d He paused. \u201cWe\u2019re not ready yet, but I hope that at some time in the future, Corel may join the United Federation of Planets.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would like that very much, Leader Aar-cu\u2019rY. We\u2019ll be leaving orbit shortly. I wish you and your people the best.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Captain. Haddy Grimble.\u201d The screen cleared and displayed a spectacular view of Corel. For the first time in a while, McEntire marveled at what a beautiful world it really was.<\/p>\n

Gillis stood up and walked over to McEntire. \u201cFor a moment, I thought he was going to invite us to dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire smiled. \u201cCrew of War Hammer, I commend you on your elite skills and teamwork. Once again, you have done the Starfleet Marines proud.\u201d He turned to his executive officer. \u201cStand down from red alert.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

USS ENTERPRISE<\/strong><\/p>\n

The next day aboard the Enterprise, McEntire stood at one of the observation ports and watched as War Hammer jumped to warp. Under Black\u2019s command, the warship would be back in its secret space dock at Antares in a day. McEntire waited until the final violet warp signature had faded, smiled, and stepped into a turbolift. He found Kyle in the main shuttle bay, sitting on the open ramp of the newly dubbed shuttle Hedonist.<\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t my dopple-gagger going to say good-bye?\u201d Kyle asked.<\/p>\n

McEntire shook his head. \u201cBobby\u2019s still not exactly thrilled that he\u2019s got a seventeen-year old twin brother no one ever told him about. He wishes you well, though. So, where are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRisa. Sounds like a really fun planet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Back in the ship\u2019s lounge, McEntire joined Gillis and Scotty at a table facing the windows. John Cafferty music played over the speakers; Scotty was enjoying a scotch and Gillis nursed a steaming cappuccino and biscotti. Life was good.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he gone?\u201d Gillis asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYup,\u201d McEntire replied. \u201cHe\u2019s not really a bad kid, but he\u2019s got a lot of growing up to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s he headed?\u201d Gillis asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSomeplace where his talents will be very appreciated.\u201d He noticed that Scotty seemed pensive and added, \u201cCosmic thoughts, my friend?\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty smiled at that. \u201cTis funny, inna way. When we finished up that nasty business at Khitomer, I figured that would be the last time I\u2019d be a member of this crew. I\u2019d always assumed I\u2019d leave this ship tha same time Jim Kirk did.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis nodded. \u201cNo need to worry about that, Scotty. After all, this was not exactly a regular Enterprise mission, and both David and I agree that the Enterprise will always be Jim Kirk\u2019s ship.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo argument there,\u201d McEntire concurred. \u201cNice of him to let us borrow it, though.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty smiled. \u201cI\u2019ll be seeing him at the dedication ceremony for the Enterprise-B.\u201d He finished his drink. \u201cGentleman, one more thing… Thank ya for making an old man very happy. These last few weeks aboard the Enterprise have been exciting and made me feel young again.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire smiled warmly. \u201cOur pleasure, Scotty. And I\u2019m sure you have more adventures to come.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scott shook his head. \u201cOh, I dunno. After the dedication I\u2019m definitely shipping out to Norpin V.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWherever the adventure takes you, Scotty, good health and long life to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scotty shook hands with both of them. \u201cThank ya, lads. Now if yull excuse me, I have one more lecture to give to the cadets in engineering before I go.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Gillis sipped his cappuccino, he began, \u201cY\u2019know, I was extremely impressed with the way War Hammer operated. I\u2019ve been on ships you\u2019ve commanded before, but an all-Starfleet Marine starship was damned impressive.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire beamed. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was also very impressed with John Black.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s going to make a hell of a Supreme Commander,\u201d McEntire mused as he looked at the stars streaking outside the portal.<\/p>\n

Gillis sighed. \u201cYou\u2019re really retiring.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I love the Starfleet Marines, and I was damn good at it. But it\u2019s time for new challenges. Oh, you and I will be back here every now and then, I\u2019m sure. But I\u2019m looking forward to being a free agent.\u201d He took a drink and added, \u201cI really want to start living my regular life with Diana.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Sue and I have a wedding to start planning.\u201d<\/p>\n

The lounge doors parted, and Yeldarb walked over to the two of them. He spread his hands, then clasped them together gently. \u201cDarmok and Jalad on the ocean.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire nodded to his Tamarian navigator. \u201cThank you, Mr. Yeldarb. I agree, it is very good that Captain Gillis and I are united again.\u201d He reached across the table, retrieved a Starfleet Marine handbook, and handed it to Yeldarb. \u201cTimba, his arms wide.\u201d<\/p>\n

As Yeldarb bowed and left, Gillis whistled. \u201cNot bad, Mon Ami.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a likable character once you get to know him, and he\u2019s expressed interest in join the Starfleet Marines.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a wacky little century this is.\u201d He was lost in thought for a moment. \u201cFunny to think it\u2019s all in the Enterprise computer banks,\u201d Gillis commented. \u201cA detailed description of how our lives will turn out\u2014did turn out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn\u2019t know,\u201d McEntire said.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you\u2019ve never done it either? Looked up our own futures on the computer here in the 23rd century?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d McEntire replied. \u201cAlthough the David McEntire presidential library is New Harvard Square certainly intrigues me. And yes, it is me. But no, I don\u2019t want to know too much of my own future. The adventure to come should remain unknown. Besides, I like to think of the future as a page that hasn\u2019t been written yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis raised his glass. \u201cTo the future, Mon Ami.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cPersonal log, Captain David McEntire; stardate: 9683.5. This mission is over and we are returning to Spacedock, Earth. This ship is to be decommissioned, and the new Excelsior-class Enterprise-B will be dedicated shortly.\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire stepped out of the command chair and walked across the bridge to where Gillis was standing. As a fantastic view of Earth filled the screen, McEntire said, \u201cWell, old friend, another year gone by and all the children gone, and who knows where it goes, but when it goes, except of course, for the fact that I have been, and ever shall be, etc…\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it?\u201d Gillis demanded.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s it?\u201d McEntire asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s how we\u2019re wrapping this up? That\u2019s the speech? This is the final chapter of Beyond The Warp Barrier! Have some respect!\u201d<\/p>\n

McEntire smiled warmly. \u201cBobby, this isn\u2019t the end. We\u2019ve been having adventures ever since high school, and the best is definitely still to come.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis nodded happily. \u201cYou\u2019re right, of course. Thanks for indulging me and taking this mission with me. I\u2019ve had a blast.\u201d He paused, then added, \u201cI\u2019ll miss you, David.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t start singing \u2018Glory Days\u2019 yet. Our futures may take us to different parts of the country, Mon Ami, but we\u2019ll always make time to get together and we\u2019ll always be friends, Bobby. Always.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gillis smiled. \u201cAnd I have been, and ever shall me yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two best friends contemplated the future in pleasant silence as the ship made standard orbit over Earth.<\/p>\n

Gillis whispered, \u201cThis has been one hell of an adventure, David.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy friend,\u201d David replied happily, \u201cthe adventure has only begun.\u201d<\/p>\n

The End<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

STAR TREK: COREL by Robert Gillis (1996) “STAR TREK” is a registered trademark of and \u00a9 CBS (or Paramount Pictures, a division of Viacom Corp). This story is fan fiction and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended by anything on these pages. INTRODUCTION. Sometime in 1992, my best friend, David, moved to New Jersey to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-fiction","category-startrek"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=124"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7451,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions\/7451"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}