{"id":953,"date":"2010-05-10T11:24:27","date_gmt":"2010-05-10T16:24:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/?p=953"},"modified":"2014-01-30T13:54:16","modified_gmt":"2014-01-30T18:54:16","slug":"another-slow-news-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/?p=953","title":{"rendered":"Another Slow News Day!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"SlowNewsDayFull\"<\/a>by Robert Gillis<\/em>
\n Published in the Foxboro Reporter and Boston City Paper, 5\/2010<\/em><\/p>\n

Slow news day. Random thoughts.<\/p>\n

When someone begins a sentence with, \u201cNo offense, but\u2026\u201d they are about to offend you.<\/p>\n

Likewise, anyone who begins a sentence with, \u201cI\u2019m not prejudiced \/ I\u2019m not a racist \/ I\u2019m not a homophobe.\u201d \u2026 They are \/ they are \/ and they are.<\/p>\n

When you are in line at a store, and you are at the counter being waited on, get the hell off your cell phone. \u201cRude\u201d and \u201cObnoxious\u201d just don\u2019t begin to cover this kind of behavior. Attention all cashiers \u2013 if somebody is at the counter on their cell phone, wave them aside and say, \u201cNext please!\u201d (Note: I\u2019d pay real money to see that.)<\/p>\n

The more they keep changing the money, the faker it looks.<\/p>\n

A priest, a rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. Bartender says, \u201cWhat is this, a joke?!\u201d<\/p>\n

Caffeine = Good.<\/p>\n

Note to the Boston Herald: Can you please stop calling Bridget Moynahan, \u201cTom Brady\u2019s baby momma?\u201d Please?<\/p>\n

Note to the Boston media: Whenever you take a poll regarding an election or an election issue, please only poll REGISTERED VOTERS. No other opinion is relevant.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a radical thought: Whether someone\u2019s prom date is the same sex or the opposite sex is none of your business. Let the kids decide who they want to be with at the prom. Keep the courts and school administration out of it.<\/p>\n

Something I\u2019d love to see on Sesame Street: \u201cToday’s episode is brought to you by the letter 2 and the number pi.”<\/p>\n

Big Bang Theory is the funniest show to air on TV in many, many years. Someone asked me recently what character I identify most with. I\u2019d have to say Raj \u2013 he\u2019s brilliant, funny, kind, and very shy. And very humble, like me.<\/p>\n

You now what we need more of? TV shows and commercials that show the husband and father as an incompetent, bumbling fool, and his know-it-all wife who constantly berates him in front of their children. Because God knows men don\u2019t have self-esteem issues, don\u2019t need role models, and that\u2019s what guys are really like, anyway.<\/p>\n

With apologies to “Futurama,” this column is brought to you by “Shankman’s Rubbing Compound”. “It costs a little more but it’s worth it!”<\/p>\n

Hey teens and tweens! Did you know that M-TV used to play music videos all day and night? It\u2019s true! M-TV stands for \u201cMusic television.\u201d Look it up! Aw, forget it, you aren\u2019t even reading this.<\/p>\n

Speaking of old, does anyone say \u201cDungarees\u201d anymore?<\/p>\n

The expression, \u201cDrop a dime,\u201d is as meaningless to kids today as, \u201cYou sound like a broken record.\u201d<\/p>\n

Meep.<\/p>\n

I ran the Boston Marathon for the first time this year and am very pleased with my time of 3:13.<\/p>\n

The fact that I am writing this column should factor heavily into your evaluation of that last statement.<\/p>\n

In Boston, when driving, you don\u2019t \u201cturn right,\u201d you \u201cbang a right,\u201d and you don\u2019t make a U-turn,\u201d you, \u201cbang a you-ee.\u201d<\/p>\n

The true measure of friendship is not having 600 friends on FaceBook, it\u2019s having one good friend who will help you move.<\/p>\n

A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender says, \u201cThat\u2019s funny \u2013 we have a drink named after you!\u201d Grasshopper says, \u201cYou have a drink named Helga Shimmel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe time for thinking is over!\u201d \u2013 Jason Stackhouse, True Blood.<\/p>\n

Am I the only one who thinks that Ryan Seacrest is off his meds lately? Man, he\u2019s been really mean to the American Idol contestants, and especially to poor Simon, who\u2019s never said an unkind word to anyone, ever.<\/p>\n

If the world does end on December 21, 2012, I, for one, will be just a little relieved.<\/p>\n

Slow news day. Sigh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Robert Gillis Published in the Foxboro Reporter and Boston City Paper, 5\/2010 Slow news day. Random thoughts. When someone begins a sentence with, \u201cNo offense, but\u2026\u201d they are about to offend you. Likewise, anyone who begins a sentence with, \u201cI\u2019m not prejudiced \/ I\u2019m not a racist \/ I\u2019m not a homophobe.\u201d \u2026 They […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[144],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-slow-news-day"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/953","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=953"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/953\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=953"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=953"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robertxgillis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=953"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}