by Robert Gillis
This gem arrived in my spam folder today, and it was so perfectly, wonderfully, amazingly STUPID that I just had to share this one. Obviously, it’s fraud, just delete it, but there ARE folks who get taken every year by these scammers, so again, to anyone who doe not understand this fraud: Please be safe and delete it. You most assuredly have NOT won anything.
From: United Nations Compensation Commission (UNCC)
To: undisclosed recipients: ;
Sent: Thu, Mar 18, 2010 6:08 am
Subject: CONGRATULATIONS
[BOB]: The United Nations Compensation Commission (UNCC)’s web site states the following: “The (UNCC) was created in 1991 as a subsidiary organ of the UN Security Council. Its mandate is to process claims and pay compensation for losses and damage suffered as a direct result of Iraq’s unlawful invasion and occupation of Kuwait. ” It also notes that all payments concluded in 2007 and there will be no more.
In Affiliation with Barrack Obama Campaign to Assist Scammed Individuals In The Settlement of Disputes through Hsbc Bank Plc.
[BOB]:Wait–are we talking about the banking scandal? What scam? When was I scammed? Anyway, let’s agree right away to ignore the grievous and rampant errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation — otherwise, we’ll NEVER get through this thing. But remember kids, professionals are, well, PROFESSIONAL. If all these errors don’t clue you in that something is amiss, well, keep reading…
Attention to you,
[BOB]: I’m being awarded or compensated a gazillion dollars and this thing isn’t even personalized. Wow. Another indicator of spam (i.e., “Dear member.”) By the way, the ONLY legal way to notify you that you have money coming your way is CERTIFIED MAIL. NOT EMAIL. Please make a note of that.
This email is directed to you that have been scammed in all parts of the world.
[BOB]: I’ve been scammed in all parts of the world? That’s it, no more trips to Zaire!
In reference to the just concluded meeting, the UNCC in affiliation with Barrack Obama Campaign have agreed to compensate them with categorical payment sum of $900,000 each.
[BOB]: Is that the presidential campaign? Also, what’s a categorical payment sum? I mean, I know what the words mean, but, ah, screw it, let’s move on.
In its decision of 30th March 2010 ,
[BOB]: I got this on March 18. So either this email traveled backward in time or we’re in an episode of “Lost.”
the Governing Council established basic principles for the distribution of compensation payments to successful claimants. This decision was made two months before the resolution of the first instalment of claims before the Commission.
[BOB]: WTF?
As stated in the Secretary-General’s report of 2nd November 2009 , it was anticipated that the value of approved awards would far exceed the resources available in the Compensation Fund at any given time.
[BOB]: Oh-kay…
The Governing Council therefore devised a mechanism for the allocation of available funds to successful claimants that gave priority to the three urgent categories of claims and which, within each category, would give equal treatment to similarly situated claims. Only when each successful claimant in categories “A”, “B” and “C” had been paid an initial amount up to US$2,500 would payments commence for claims in other categories.
[BOB]: So if the train is traveling at 60 mph, what time will it reach Chicago?
Accordingly, the first phase of payment involved an initial payment of US$2,500 to each successful individual claimant in categories “B” and “C”.
[BOB]: Wait, you just said A as well as B and C.
However, for humanitarian reasons, all category “A” claims will be paid in full of a total USD$900,000.
[BOB]: Oh, that explains it. Category A, which you still have not defined, gets $900,000 instead of $2,500 for HUMANITARIAN reasons.
A total of US$3,252,337,997.09 was made available to 1,498,119 successful individual claimants in categories “A”, “B” and “C” under the first phase of payments.
[BOB]: That’s 2170.94 each (really, I just did the math)
Claimants include every foreign contractor that may have not received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems etc.
[BOB]: So it’s NOT the banking crisis? or is it? I am so confused.
We found your name in our list and that is why you are receiving this email notification.
[BOB]: No, the reason I am receiving this email is because you wish to scam me.
You are hereby advised to contact Mr. Sharma Shashi Kant of HSNC Bank Plc, as he is our representative who will be releasing your refund payment to you, Contact him immediately for your approved funds(USD$900,000). This fund is in an escrow account for security purpose, so he will transfer it to your provided Bank account.
[BOB]:Why am I getting the $900,000? Oooo, that’s right, HUMANITARIAN reasons. or something. And wait– REFUND? I thought this was a settlement? Because I was scammed in all parts of the world?
Therefore, you should send him your
Full Name
Telephone number
Correct mailing address.
[BOB]: er, no.
Contact Mr. Sharma Shashi Kant immediately for your Compensation:
Mr Sharma Shashi Kant
Email: hsb-inf@usa.com
[BOB]: er, no.
Regards
Ban Ki-Moon
(UN Secretary-General)
http://www.un.org/sg/
[BOB]: Very odd, I went to the web page for Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon (which is misspelled above) and his site doesn’t mention anything about this. Isn’t that strange? I mean, this is a LOT of money.
Bottom line, obviously a scam and not even a very good one. NO ONE on planet Earth in all of history has ever been given money from something like this. Be safe. Delete the email.
