RobertXGillis

RobertXGillis

25+ years of published Op/Ed columns, professional photography, my first book and more from the 28 known galaxies!

RobertXGillis
  • About Me
  • My professional photography
  • Nana – my first published book
  • Gillis Photo and Nana Videos
  • Site Map
  • Nativity

A final toast to Foxboro’s grand dame Betty Friedman

  • Foxboro
  • News image from Web
  • Seniors
Betty Friedman at an event on Foxboro Common, 11/13/1999 - Photo by Mike Schuster
Betty Friedman at an event on Foxboro Common, 11/13/1999 – Photo by Scott Farmelant with thanks to Mike Schuster

by Robert Gillis
Published in The Foxboro Reporter 11/2001

Betty Friedman first contacted me about three years ago. Betty, a senior resident of the Doolittle Home, wrote saying that she had enjoyed one of my columns. I welcomed Betty’s letter; at that time I hadn’t received much written feedback about my work.

Since then, I’d received more than a few letters from her, and the last one, in June, requested that we meet. The request came at an unusually busy time for me, so I planned to meet with her in a few weeks. But then I received a phone call from someone in town, passing along the message that Betty’s health had taken a turn, and she really wanted to see me.

Although I’ve lived in Foxboro for over ten years, that was my first visit to Doolittle Home. The place reminded me of the rest home where Nana had lived — warm, inviting, friendly, and a place where seniors lived in respect and comfort. I was very impressed.

I found Betty in Doolittle’s hospital area. She was frail, bundled in blankets and an afghan, with a little ribbon in her snow-white hair.

She extended her hand, a big smile on her face. It was like seeing someone I knew all my life. There was a connection right away.

I pulled up a chair and started talking — or rather, listening. In two hours I found that Betty was extremely well read, not just in current events but classical literature and several other subjects. Although her body was growing weak, her mind was razor sharp.

I was also amazed how comfortable I felt with her. It was like we’d been friends for years.

She jumped right into some of her adventures — not meandering thoughts of days gone by, but a rich tapestry of her worldwide travels. Betty was no typical “tourist”, staying in the safety of a bus with some tour guide. In addition to the regular tourist spots like Niagara Falls, Betty had traveled to Vienna, Switzerland, throughout Europe, and South Africa. She’d been on safaris, and traveled across America.

Each stop along the way brought anecdotes: The people she met (she still remembered their names) the food, the sights. She remembered her impressions of the people and their customs and culture.

Her life had been very rich. She was married for twelve years, and had a stepson named Bob, who remains one of her closest friends. She had grandchildren, and many friends. She had sponsored several kids across the world, and even met some of them, inviting them to spend time with her in places like Cape Cod.

She also served this country well during World War II, reaching the rank of first lieutenant, and told me that her not making captain was one of her very few regrets.

Clearly, travel was her passion. She lived very frugally back home in order to afford her journeys, and remarked that she always kept “that tiny apartment on Central Street” and often wondered what her rich traveling companions would have thought of her little apartment.

I was also impressed by how popular (or was it notorious?) that Betty was. She was no wallflower. She wasn’t shy. She saw something in the paper and got an opinion, she wrote a letter. She got on the phone. She knew our town and state officials personally. She’d written many letters to this paper. She wrote to congressmen, Senators Rockefellow, and Bob Kraft. In fact, Mr. Kraft recently visited Betty, and presented her with a check for $1000 to the charity of her choice. She knew Patriots and other locals, and had a steady stream of visitors and well wishers.

By this time, Betty and I had talked for nearly two hours. I promised I’d stop in again.

Then, September 11 happened, and everything that came with it. In early October, I received another letter from Betty. I’d just run my column about visiting Ground Zero in New York, and Betty was expressing her frustration about not being able to get in touch with me. “Are you a secret agent? Are you in the Witness Protection Program?” she demanded. “Do you write your columns and then go back underground?” She continued, “Your visit got my mind so stimulated that it had been swirling ever since, partly with articles for you to write and those I’ve written myself.”

There was no doubt: I had been summoned.

Next, my wife Sue got a call from one of our local officials, saying that when he’d visited Betty she’d asked him to pass along the message that she wanted to see me.

“Saturday!” I said. “I promise!”

The following Saturday morning, Sue woke me up early. “If we don’t get over there I think Betty will send Chief O’Leary to drag you there!”

Realizing this was possible (indeed likely, beginning to appreciate Betty’s influence in this town) Sue and I headed to Doolittle and arrived to find Betty talking to another friend, and pulled up some chairs.

I assured Betty I wasn’t in the Witness Protection Program and we laughed at that.

“I want to talk about a few things,” Betty said. I thought she might.

Betty asked about ground zero, and wondered if I felt I would be in the way. I told her I did feel I’d be in the way, and worried about it, but Sue and I felt like we had to go. I was glad we did.

Soon, the subject switched to traveling, and Betty recounted other adventures she’d had through the years. She talked about how seeing a rhino and how shameful it was that people hunted these unique creatures for their horns.

As she recounted her trips, I felt by Betty’s eyes that there wasn’t much regret — she had literally traveled the Earth, and just seemed eager to share the experiences.

She liked my wife and they chatted. “You’re the hot dog lady,” Betty remarked.

Then Betty went on that she had other things to talk about. “Maybe you’ll write a column about some of them,” she said. Betty explained that she wasn’t writing letters anymore, she would dictate them to others. And other people read the papers to her, now that her eyesight was failing.

“Friendship among women,” she began, talking about how she marveled that some women could maintain a close friendship throughout their lives. She lamented that she had never had that sort of long-lasting friendship with another woman.

Then she moved on to sex in the movies — then and now. “They show everything these days,” she said, rolling her eyes in disgust. “There’s nothing left to the imagination.” She talked about Marlon Brando in the movie “Sayonara,” and how so much passion was conveyed though eyes, holding hands, and subtlety. She continued, “In Gone with the Wind”, Clark Gable carried Vivian Leigh up the stairs and made mad love to her, but you never saw that. You saw the look on [Vivian Leigh’s] face the next morning and knew she was liking it!”

“Betty!” I exclaimed. It seemed a paradox to see this frail-looking person talking about mad passionate lovemaking, but make no mistake — though her body was weak, her mind was razor sharp. There was fire in her eyes, and a little mischief too.

For me, that’s always the hardest part of watching someone age, as the mind stays so alert as the body begins to fail. At 93, Betty wasn’t planning any more safaris, but she talked matter-of-factly about her own death. She’d planned the funeral service, shed told me, including the arrangements, readings, and had even chosen a bagpipe player. Betty said that she felt that if things were to be done right, she’d need to plan them herself.

Betty seemed to have an endless supply of things to talk about, but soon it was time to leave again. I told her I’d stop in again.

Betty died last week. Losing her is a loss for all of us — there was so much wisdom and experience in those eyes. So many stories, so many ideas in her mind.

But I don’t mourn Betty, I celebrate her. Because she was a superb example of a remarkable life, a
life well lived. I am grateful she chose to share some of it with me.

Betty, may you rest in peace in God’s tender mercy, knowing that our world is a better place because of the 93 years you lived in it, and the time we shared with you.

You were a rare gem, Betty, and you will be missed.

Betty Friedman, image from the book, "Legendary Locals of Foxborough" by Jeffrey Peterson
Betty Friedman, image from the book, “Legendary Locals of Foxborough” by Jeffrey Peterson
Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

Related Posts via Categories

  • Celebrating the remarkable clergy of Saint Mary’s Foxboro
  • 2010 Cable auction to benefit the Doolittle Home is Saturday November 6, 2010
  • 2009 – The 6th Annual Cable Auction to benefit Doolittle Home will be February 28, 2009
  • Breaking Dog Park News!
  • Lynda Walsh for Foxboro Selectman
  • Foxboro Senior Center Christmas Faire
  • An interview with Joanna Levesque, aka “JoJo”
  • Foxboro Senior Center Christmas fair
  • Seniors benefit rolling in dough after weekend pizza fund-raiser
  • Support the new Foxboro Senior Center
Spread the love
November 30, 2001 Robert Gillis 0

Post navigation

Reflections on Christmas 2001, three months after the attacks → ← Foxboro Jaycees Haunted House 2001: Travel Through Time

My Professional Photography

Buy My Book!

Go to Nana Book website

Follow Me!

  • Facebook

RobertXGillis.com Categories (Drop Down Menu)!

Category Cloudy Thingy!

A must read Avoiding Fraud Backstreets Boston Bruce Springsteen Catholic / Church Christmas CNN image Computers / Tech Current Events / News Commentary Current News Story Parody and Humor Dorchester Foxboro Foxboro Founders Day Foxboro Jaycees Foxboro Jaycees Haunted House Foxboro Reporter Image Halloween Holidays - Other Humor Life events, Gratitude and Giving and Little Miracles Mass Shootings Memorials Movies Music My fiction (80s/90s) Nana Book NASA Image New Hampshire News image from Web New Year Not The Best Pets Politics Scanned From Newspaper Microfilm Seniors September 11, 2001 Slow News Day Humor Sports Star Trek Superman Superman and Friends - Comic Book Humor and Parody Television Uncategorized Web / Email / Internet / Social Media

Robert Gillis Site Archives From the 28 Known Galaxies

Weekly Popular!

  • A dream come true, meeting Joanna Cameron, star of… (34)
  • Memories of an Intensive Care Nursery at Saint… (16)
  • Silver Age Comics: Spanking your super kids, a great… (12)
  • Memo: Cost-cutting measures during these tough… (11)
  • Foxboro Senior Center Christmas Faire (6)
  • Review: Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band at… (6)
  • An interview with Joanna Levesque, aka “JoJo” (6)
  • More Lucy Lane and Lois Lane Silver-Age Comics Sillyness! (5)
  • What if they gave an election in Foxboro and most… (5)
  • End of Summer 2016: Thoughts on a variety of topics (5)
  • Silver Age Comics: Jimmy Olsen the Roughneck (and I… (5)
  • Letter I wrote to DC Comics when Superman died (5)
  • Remarkable Man, Remarkable Life, Remembering Gerry Rodman (5)
  • More Silver-Age Lois Lane comic book madness! (4)
  • My 3:00 A.M. Facebook Reboot Get a grip folks.… (4)
  • Review: SUPERMAN II: THE RICHARD DONNER CUT (4)
  • Review: BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN WITH THE SEEGER SESSIONS… (4)
  • Cherishing the people around us – NOW (3)
  • An historical quest fulfilled: Finding the Willey… (3)
  • Thoughts and gratitude after the March 2018… (3)
  • Superman Returns Review (3)
  • Grieving the Saint Kevin’s Property (3)
  • Retro-Review “A Christmas Carol” (1951) (3)
  • Foxboro First Night says farewell (3)
  • Silver-Age Superboy comic book (in)justice! (2)
  • Popular posts by Top 10 plugin

Most Popular On This Site!

  • A dream come true, meeting Joanna Cameron, star of… (16,549)
  • An interview with Joanna Levesque, aka “JoJo” (6,124)
  • A letter to Mom on Christmas Day (3,641)
  • Memo: Cost-cutting measures during these tough… (3,240)
  • Silver Age Comics: Spanking your super kids, a great… (2,680)
  • Memories of an Intensive Care Nursery at Saint… (2,272)
  • Thoughts on visiting seven churches on Holy Thursday (1,702)
  • Father Steve Madden leaving Saint Mary’s… (1,613)
  • The National Shrine of Our Lady of La Salette in… (1,492)
  • Grieving the Saint Kevin’s Property (1,487)
  • The customer, most assuredly, is NOT always right: A… (1,378)
  • More Lucy Lane and Lois Lane Silver-Age Comics Sillyness! (1,195)
  • Silver-Age Comics fun: Going to the chapel, and… (1,027)
  • What was the Silver Age of comic books? Superman,… (1,015)
  • My professional photography (1,013)
  • Popular posts by Top 10 plugin

Copyright and Legal

All site content copyright © 2020 by Robert Gillis except where specifically noted. All rights reserved. THIS IS A PERSONAL WEBLOG (“BLOG”). THE OPINIONS AND COMMENTARY EXPRESSED HERE REPRESENT MY OWN AND ARE NOT THOSE OF MY EMPLOYERS (PAST, PRESENT NOR FUTURE).

About images:

I do my best to use my own photos to illustrate a post (and copyright to all my images remains with me), but sometimes I need to use an image from, say, a sports logo, a TV show or movie, or something I could not possibly get on my own, for example, an image of the international space station. I always credit the original owner (if they can be determined) but in ALL cases, whether credited or not, any images I didn’t photograph myself remain the property of the original copyright holders. This site does not imply any ownership of such images or materials, and such images are used here for commentary / illustrative / entertainment purposes only, under what is believed to be fair use guidelines, and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended.

Powered by WordPress | theme SG Double