RobertXGillis

RobertXGillis

25+ years of published Op/Ed columns, professional photography, my first book and more from the 28 known galaxies!

RobertXGillis
  • About Me
  • My professional photography
  • Nana – my first published book
  • Gillis Photo and Nana Videos
  • Site Map
  • Nativity

Movie Reviews are easier than you think!

  • Humor

Movie Reviewby Robert Gillis
Published in the Foxboro Reporter and Boston City Paper 8/2009

Although I rarely go the movies due to cost and my own profound laziness, I realized that I could be an ideal movie critic / reviewer / marketing spinner — because let’s face it, when writing a movie review or tagline, the facts, though interesting, are irrelevant. I mean, ANY movie, no matter how bad, can be manipulated via creative writing into a must-see film. Or a completely different film. And doing this is easier than you might imagine. So without further ado, here are some of my descriptions of movies, all with my special “must see” marketing spin.

“Showgirls:” — A heartwarming story of the hardscrabble life of a group of women in the competitive world of professional dancing. An inspiring look at what it takes to realize your dream.

“The Shining,” — The exciting story of a writer (Jack Nicholson) and his family who take care of a beautiful Colorado hotel under a gorgeous blanket of snow, and their thrilling adventures with the hotel’s zany inhabitants.

“Grindhouse,” — Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino present an inspiring story of valiant courage as a woman (Charmed star Rose McGowan) loses a leg in an accident but turns the disability into an advantage as she helps protect her friends from a group of misguided and confused folks. The film also features an intriguing look at how our government works to protect its citizens.

“Superman IV:” — A film that offers something for everyone! Philosophers can debate the ethics of nuclear disarmament and self-government. And as an added bonus, the film’s producers show the viewers how ALL of the special effects are created, as the wires holding Superman and other flying actors are clearly visible in every shot, and the blue-screen effects remain unfinished to allow aspiring filmmakers to scrutinize every detail of this amazing 88 minute cinematic masterpiece.

“Star Trek V: The Final Frontier:” — Twenty years after its release, movie goers still debate the fascinating philosophical questions proposed by this film, including, “What is the nature of God?” “Is God inside the human heart?” and “What in the name of God was William Shatner thinking?” This fifth film in the Trek franchise boasts special effects far ahead of anything that could be produced on a computer in 1805, and features a story that is guaranteed to make you ponder the question, “Why?” over and over again.

“Gigli:” — One of the most talked-about film of all time, this cinematic epic features Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in what the New York Times called, “One of the films of 2003.”

“Friday the 13th Part VII:” – At an old summer camp, follow the misadventures of a group of fun-loving teenagers as they realize they must balance their desire to have a good time with serious adult choices and an uncertain future. A coming-of-age classic everyone can relate to.

See you at the movies! Well, actually, I’ll be at home on the couch watching HBO’s “True Blood,” a heartwarming story of the blossoming love between a racially mixed couple and their struggle to gain acceptance in their peer groups.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

Related Posts via Categories

  • Play the TV News Snow Game! (Global Warming #alternativefacts means more snow!)
  • Fun with Facebook: Christmas 2015 edition!
  • Silver Age Superman Fun: STOP THE PRESSES! Somebody sent Superman… A LETTER!!!!!!!
  • Because you demanded it: Another Slow News Day (Summer 2014)
  • Fun with Facebook: Christmas 2010 edition!
  • What if “The Christmas Song” were written in 2010?
  • How was my vacation? It’s great to be home!
  • Facebook Fun: A Parody!
  • Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and yes, Virginia, he knows that the world is ending in 2012
  • Humor: The missing William Shatner scene in J.J. Abrams Star Trek 2009!
Spread the love
August 14, 2009 Robert Gillis 0

Post navigation

Review: Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band at the Comcast Center, Great Woods Mansfield August 22 and 23, 2009 → ← Homework in summer? Let kids be kids

My Professional Photography

Buy My Book!

Go to Nana Book website

Follow Me!

  • Facebook

RobertXGillis.com Categories (Drop Down Menu)!

Category Cloudy Thingy!

A must read Avoiding Fraud Backstreets Boston Bruce Springsteen Catholic / Church Christmas CNN image Computers / Tech Current Events / News Commentary Current News Story Parody and Humor Dorchester Foxboro Foxboro Founders Day Foxboro Jaycees Foxboro Jaycees Haunted House Foxboro Reporter Image Halloween Holidays - Other Humor Life events, Gratitude and Giving and Little Miracles Mass Shootings Memorials Movies Music My fiction (80s/90s) Nana Book NASA Image New Hampshire News image from Web New Year Not The Best Pets Politics Scanned From Newspaper Microfilm Seniors September 11, 2001 Slow News Day Humor Sports Star Trek Superman Superman and Friends - Comic Book Humor and Parody Television Uncategorized Web / Email / Internet / Social Media

Robert Gillis Site Archives From the 28 Known Galaxies

Weekly Popular!

  • A dream come true, meeting Joanna Cameron, star of… (20)
  • Memories of an Intensive Care Nursery at Saint… (10)
  • Gun Show! (The Gun Show Loophole) (9)
  • Memo: Cost-cutting measures during these tough… (9)
  • Silver Age Comics: Spanking your super kids, a great… (8)
  • Grieving the Saint Kevin’s Property (7)
  • An interview with Joanna Levesque, aka “JoJo” (7)
  • Silver Age Superman Comics Review: The irresistible… (6)
  • An historical quest fulfilled: Finding the Willey… (6)
  • Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, you betcha! (6)
  • More fun with Superman and Wonder Woman comics:… (5)
  • Bruce Springsteen at Fenway Park September 6 and 7, 2003 (5)
  • More Silver-Age Lois Lane comic book madness! (5)
  • A year later, America is still a great nation, under God (5)
  • Review: SUPERMAN II: THE RICHARD DONNER CUT (5)
  • Silver Age Comic Book Sillyness: Watch the skies! (5)
  • What was the Silver Age of comic books? Superman,… (4)
  • The customer, most assuredly, is NOT always right: A… (4)
  • Pictures of Saint Kevin Church June 2003 (4)
  • Retro-Review: A Christmas Carol (1938) starring… (3)
  • The Weakest Link (3)
  • Silver-Age Superboy comic book (in)justice! (3)
  • Silver Age Superboy and Lois Lane presents: Comets… (3)
  • Silver Age Comic Books: Superman stops the… (3)
  • Memories of Halloween (3)
  • Popular posts by Top 10 plugin

Most Popular On This Site!

  • A dream come true, meeting Joanna Cameron, star of… (16,750)
  • An interview with Joanna Levesque, aka “JoJo” (6,160)
  • A letter to Mom on Christmas Day (3,657)
  • Memo: Cost-cutting measures during these tough… (3,309)
  • Silver Age Comics: Spanking your super kids, a great… (2,732)
  • Memories of an Intensive Care Nursery at Saint… (2,339)
  • Thoughts on visiting seven churches on Holy Thursday (1,717)
  • Father Steve Madden leaving Saint Mary’s… (1,625)
  • Grieving the Saint Kevin’s Property (1,542)
  • The National Shrine of Our Lady of La Salette in… (1,514)
  • The customer, most assuredly, is NOT always right: A… (1,401)
  • More Lucy Lane and Lois Lane Silver-Age Comics Sillyness! (1,215)
  • Katy Perry’s “Firework:” A message every teen needs to hear (1,045)
  • Silver-Age Comics fun: Going to the chapel, and… (1,042)
  • What was the Silver Age of comic books? Superman,… (1,040)
  • Popular posts by Top 10 plugin

Copyright and Legal

All site content copyright © 2020 by Robert Gillis except where specifically noted. All rights reserved. THIS IS A PERSONAL WEBLOG (“BLOG”). THE OPINIONS AND COMMENTARY EXPRESSED HERE REPRESENT MY OWN AND ARE NOT THOSE OF MY EMPLOYERS (PAST, PRESENT NOR FUTURE).

About images:

I do my best to use my own photos to illustrate a post (and copyright to all my images remains with me), but sometimes I need to use an image from, say, a sports logo, a TV show or movie, or something I could not possibly get on my own, for example, an image of the international space station. I always credit the original owner (if they can be determined) but in ALL cases, whether credited or not, any images I didn’t photograph myself remain the property of the original copyright holders. This site does not imply any ownership of such images or materials, and such images are used here for commentary / illustrative / entertainment purposes only, under what is believed to be fair use guidelines, and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended.

Powered by WordPress | theme SG Double