Merry Christmas!

For the first year in my memory Sue and I didn’t send out Christmas cards this year – by choice. The reasons are many and varied, ranging from busy schedules to exhaustion, to my sincere desire to help speed up Global Warming. Wait, that isn’t right, or is it? Wait, Global Warming isn’t real, it’s fictional like Santa Claus or Al Gore.

Anyway, please know that the lack of sending a Christmas card in no way means you have fallen on my naughty list (or dear God forbid) Sue’s -- we’re just embracing the bold experiment of sending out Christmas cards every other year (2007 being the other), and trying to find more time for some Christmas activities -- actually getting the tree up and decorated before Christmas, shopping, making sure the bird has enough toys and isn’t too pissed at us, and if at all possible, sleep. (Dream, baby dream).

In truth—my profound guilt – Catholic guilt, Christmas guilt, Bobby guilt, friendship guilt and the ever reliable general purpose guilt – make the process even more difficult but I will be strong, I will be brave, I will eat more Christmas cookies… Wait, that’s not right…

So with apologies to Hallmark, American greetings and the people in your town who bottle Coca-Cola, if this message reaches you please know that it is not a lame attempt to cheap-out by sending an email to a list and call Christmas cards done but to let you know that we’re just not sending cards out this year. (In other words, it’s not you, it’s me). If this message does not reach you please let me know immediately.

We’re fine, life is good, we’re very blessed. We have great friends, a warm home, are part of a great community, have a sweet dog, a parrot with Machiavellian delusions of world domination, and live a mile away from the home team that will be winning the Superbowl in 2008.

So Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hanukah, and it goes without saying, Happy Festivus.

Bob and Sue

This Christmas Card explanation post contains surreptitious Intel intended for an instantaneously recognizable mammal or group of mammals, and is intended for an unambiguous raison d'être, and is sheltered by laws and stuff. You are hereby given the lowdown that if you are not the wished-for recipient, you should format your hard drive immediately and send me nine hundred and eleventy-two dollars in unmarked Euros and one package of double-stuff Oreo cookies to the address noted in your license agreement. Any exposé, photocopying, or dispersion of this communiqué or the doing of any action based on it, or in spite of it, or whatever, is expressly prohibited, forbidden and really, really frowned upon.